Bondage Blunders

Discussion in 'Sexual Fetishes and Fantasies' started by Barbwire, Oct 21, 2009.

  1. Barbwire

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Messages:
    9,789
    Likes Received:
    174
    Gender:
    Female
    Monday afternoon my husband surprised me with some things he picked up at an adult toy store.We were making out on the loveseat and he took my hand and led me into the bedroom. He asked me to sit on the edge of the bed and then placed a blindfold on me and put leather sleeves/cuffs on my wrists. He then asked me to lay down with my feet towards the headboard and fastened my hands together over my head and tied them to the footboard.

    He then used a small flogger on me and a new vibe while alternating between pinching and sucking my breasts and having me suck his cock.

    That all sounds fine and dandy doesn't it? Well, it wasn't. See, I have always wanted to have all those things done to me and have concocted elaborate fantasies in my head on how it would play out should it ever actually happen.

    All while he was doing these things to me I kept thinking, "Why am I not turned on by this? What the hell is wrong with me?"

    It seemed like everything about it turned me off, from the bad smell of the cheap "leather" equipment to my husband's shaking hands and his wishy washy technique. The flogger tickled more than stung and the blindfold kept sliding off of my head. Even the new vibe was more of an annoyance than a turn on.

    My husband didn't say anything while he was doing things to me and seemed more scared than anything else.

    After a while, I just felt like I needed to make him stop so I faked it. After he fucked me and got off I asked him to eat me and while he did I let my mind wander into a fantasy about my cyber lover doing all the things to me that my husband did, but in a much more forceful manner. I got off really hard from that.

    I feel bad that I faked an orgasm with him but it was the quickest way out of a situation that was a major turn off for me.

    I know I need to communicate with my husband better and tell him exactly how I want things done but in my opinion, the one doing all the tying up and such should be the dominant one and act like it. Me telling him exactly what to do would ruin all that, placing me in the position where I was the dom and he was the sub and I don't want that at all.

    Part of me resents the fact that I have to teach my husband to be more dominant acting and I need to get past that. I know I shouldn't compare him to my virtual lover but I just wish he'd be more like him and drive me wild like he does.

    Any pointers?
     
    #1 Barbwire, Oct 21, 2009
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2009
  2. Slowdance

    Slowdance Member

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2009
    Messages:
    133
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Fort Worth, TX
    I know what this one is like all over hun, and I understand your frustration. The unfortunate thing is if your mate isn't the dominant kind then you do need to have that talk about what you want or its unlikely that he will deliver. I feel your pain. I want a man to take me, steady and rough until I explode and he does too, and it cant feel text book if its right. I wanna feel the heat, ya know. As for comparing men, it happens, all people compare lovers. We cant help it. What I think you need to do is have an open little sit down and explain what you want. You seem bright, brave and much like sexual dynamite. I cant imagine you not going for what you want. ^_^

    Good Luck ~_^
     
  3. Bowler

    Bowler New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2010
    Messages:
    33
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    England
    Another option that's always available to you is to show them how it's really done.

    I had a similar experience once, their hands were shaking etc..

    So, anyway, the knots tying me up were obviously awful, and I was able to slip them.
    So with a call of "not like that, this is how it's done, you pussy", I flung him on the bed and tortured him totally.

    We both had a really great time, and he was soo much better the next time he tried. ;)
     
  4. Barbwire

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Messages:
    9,789
    Likes Received:
    174
    Gender:
    Female
    How the heck am I supposed to show him how when I haven't done it myself?
     
  5. Barbwire

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Messages:
    9,789
    Likes Received:
    174
    Gender:
    Female
    Well, I've answered my own question.

    The other day I got the flogger out and worked myself with it. At first it didn't come naturally but once I got into it I felt more confident. Now, I can show my hubby exactly how to do it so there's no guesswork involved on his part. :)
     
  6. HardRocker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2006
    Messages:
    5,719
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    And don't forget about those pictures and movies.;)
     
  7. heelfetish

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2006
    Messages:
    7,392
    Likes Received:
    6
    You're persistent, HR :lol
     
  8. Barbwire

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Messages:
    9,789
    Likes Received:
    174
    Gender:
    Female
    That he is, that he is.

    Sorry HR, but still no pics or vids.