Body image

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by DarkJewel, Mar 18, 2011.

  1. DarkJewel

    DarkJewel New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2010
    Messages:
    459
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    I'll let ya know
    So a new survey shows 97% of women have negative thoughts about their bodies everyday.Some up to hundreds of negative thoughts a day.
    I wasn't gonna post about it since it isn't really about sex.But then I started looking in the photo section here,and realized it absolutely is.
    So many members post photos asking,"Do I look ok?" "Am I too fat?" "Do I look normal?" (at least the women,the men mostly only ask about their penises :eyes)

    Why do you all think this is so?? Most men seem to love our bodies in all shapes and sizes.It is us women ourselves who are so down on them most of the time.We tear ourselves apart,and we tear each other apart.Why can't we love ourselves and be accepting of ourselves for how we are?

    Ladies,when you have a "bad body day",what is it that makes you criticize yourself so harshly? What or whom do you compare it to? What do you want or expect it to look like? If you could choose it to look like anyone's,whose would it be and why??

    I will admit that tv and magazines frequently make me feel unattractive.
    I could be feeling great about myself,but then end up thinking I don't quite measure up and never will no matter how hard I try and I get discouraged.
    Is this just my hang up? Or is it that this bombardment of beautiful images 24/7 gives us a low self esteem?
    That we have evolved in such a way,to go from only comparing ourselves to the people around us,to comparing ourselves to tons of people all over the world via tv and internet.
    What do you think? Does Hollywood and the fashion industry play a part here? Playboy? Porn? Or is this just something we teach ourselves to do?

    Men,what is your take on why you think women are like this?

    View Today's Top Videos on Comcast.net | Featured Videos| Popular Videos | Comcast.net
     
  2. cheeze

    cheeze New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2011
    Messages:
    128
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I think society drills low self esteem into everyone, they do this for two reasons control and profit. Conformity demands low self esteem to work. Also low self esteem gets people to buy products to "enhance" beauty.

    Women get it especially hard. Women are socialised from an early age to think that they are Ugly. If all women were happy with themselves then every cosmetic line and clothing store would be out of business.

    Men on the other hand are socialised to think they have small penises and that being fat means they will never get a woman or be horrible in bed. On top of all of that they are told that "all they have to do is be confident" which ironically only makes it harder to build said confidence.

    TV, magazines and the internet have a strong influence but those are the obvious influences and imho they arent the main sources of these feelings. Their purpose is to reinforce our beliefs.

    The more powerful influences are the more subtle and indirect ones, for example growing up your parents drill into you what it means to dress well and look good. In the dating world, there are stereotypes about whats "attractive" and whats not, so that forces you to have to conform to a certain standard or not be able to get anyone.

    Same is true for friendships really they have the potential to do alot of damage.
     
  3. Texas_Red

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2010
    Messages:
    2,313
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    I agree with cheeze, but I think it's pretty equal across the board.

    For women it's not being pretty enough, not long enough lashes, not thin enough, not shapely enough, boobs aren't big enough, etc.

    For guys it's not being to keep a hardon, or not having a big enough dick, not having washboard abs and a perfectly sculpted body, grey hair, etc.
     
  4. cheeze

    cheeze New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2011
    Messages:
    128
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Check these out
    YouTube - Dove Commercial India

    Notice something about this ad "dove believes that only damage free hair is beautiful to touch" Notice they used a model with perfect hair to bitch about her hair. What do you think the effect will be on someone who doesnt think they are as hot even when there hair is done? The ad is creating an image thats impossible to live up to.

    YouTube - Ponds white beauty india episode 1
    This one is even more disgusting, the jilted lady was a former Miss world pageant winner, and the commercial is basically saying she lost her man because she wasnt "pale white" enough.

    Notice both ads use beautiful women and basically says "these women look like shit, until they use our product. If you aren't as hot as these women you look even more like shit, try our product it may help, but you're still going to look like shit"

    Even if a man tells a woman she's beautiful, she's been programmed not to believe him. This is a logical response when you think about it, one man's word, vs a lifetime of brainwashing by parents, in schools, by friends, and by TV.
     
  5. Untamed

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2010
    Messages:
    2,168
    Likes Received:
    331
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    New Zealand
    For me it's my stomach, boobs and vagina. I criticize myself really harshly and it sucks but in reality it's just me that needs to put in the work to make myself feel better when I look in the mirror

    Personally I KNOW I have to lose weight .. exercise and maybe throw in a few sit-ups/crunches daily. It's the motivation that I lack.

    My boobs have lost a lot of it's firmness I say due to breastfeeding .. going from being a D to B cup and now a C cup and filled with milk to no milk.. I think the fluctuation of ups and downs just took it's toll really.

    My vagina... well I wouldn't mind having a more prominent clitorus and everything seems hidden away down there. Know anyway to exercise the vagina?

    Lastly if I had to choose I would love a figure like Kim Kardashian. Curves in all the right places that woman
     
  6. cheeze

    cheeze New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2011
    Messages:
    128
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    i disagree with you red. I think the women have it harder. Reason being they are the more profitable demographic to market to. Go to any mall and look how many stores are for women vs how many are for men. Why are there no "victor secret" stores?

    I noticed something today while watching House hunters. In every single episode, there was a comment about needing a bigger closet for all the woman's clothes etc. I think dialogue like that serves only one purpose to reinforce the notion that women are supposed to have alot of clothes or they arent fulfilling their roles as women. To make it worse the "husbands" in the show always said it with a dismissive tone.

    Simple lines like that have a double impact, its telling them what they should be doing and telling them that they are bad for doing it. That was in a real estate show dude. Men aren't targeted nearly as aggressively.

    The only place where men are really targeted are on porn sites, and the occassional enzyte and bow-flex commercials.
     
    #6 cheeze, Mar 18, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2011
  7. DarkJewel

    DarkJewel New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2010
    Messages:
    459
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    I'll let ya know
    Great responses guys:) I can see where all of you are coming from.

    Texas Red,
    I definitely think that men get it too.But I also think Cheeze is right, women have it worse.Shows are always throwing in T & A to score ratings. Commercials like Victoria Secret with half naked chicks are so common now we don't even blink,but men are not exploited in the same ways.Pretty much everywhere you go,you can expect to see a near naked image of a woman these days...Malls,tv,internet,billboards,magazines.

    Beautiful,perfect,near nude images of women EVERYWHERE.Images, that if you are a woman, and don't live up to them,you feel inferior.

    Cheeze,you have pretty much described exactly how I feel.


    Taken,
    Having kids is DEFINITELY another thing men are lucky they don't have to put their bodies through.I also hate how harsh us women are about that with each other.
    You see these stars that have a kid and come back 6 weeks later looking thinner then before and it makes real women feel like a failure.If only we had the same resources they do with nannies,a personal chef,a personal trainer and money for plastic surgery!

    Girl,I wish I had a smaller Clit,I feel like mine is too big! And I wish my boobs were bigger too.I'm not flat I have C's,but I have always wanted really big ones like DD's (which,admittedly would probably look funny since I'm so short).
     
  8. Texas_Red

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2010
    Messages:
    2,313
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    I s'pose you'd both be right that women get targeted harder. But I'm not sure it's any more or less damaging on either side.

    I do think it's becoming more and more mainstream for people to say "fuck you" to the companies pushing the shit though. More people seem to be recognizing that they don't actually care for or even like what is being pushed as perfection. People are slowly waking up.

    Also, as for women and giant closets, what about men and their "man cave" garages? I really think if we sat down and collected all the data, we'd find a lot of equivalents. Again, maybe not as "in your face" for men, but I don't think it's necessarily less.
     
    #8 Texas_Red, Mar 18, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2011
  9. DarkJewel

    DarkJewel New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2010
    Messages:
    459
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    I'll let ya know
    True...I definitely don't usually agree with what I'm "TOLD" is supposed to be attractive and how I'm supposed to look.

    I HATE when magazines come out with "50 most beautiful people in the world" issues.REALLY, They have had time to judge every single person in every country to come up with this list? So many different kinds of beauty and we are to go by the kind THEY tell us is best?? I think not.

    BTW,Tex,like my sig? :lol
     
  10. Texas_Red

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2010
    Messages:
    2,313
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    Right? I look at that and think to myself "when the fuck did you become the decider of what I think is beautiful?"

    I lol'd. When I first saw it I was like "how the hell did a quote from something I said in another thread make it over here?" and then I realized it was your sig. As a sig it is *so* easy to take out of context that I am sure it's going to raise many eyebrows and bring many laughs. :D Love it.
     
  11. Untamed

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2010
    Messages:
    2,168
    Likes Received:
    331
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    New Zealand
    I have friends that have had children hardly gained any weight during the pregnancy.. I am so envious of them!

    Oh yeah and one day I made a comment about a porn star to my ex... I said "Wow you can tell she hasn't had any kids?" ex replied "There are plenty of porn stars that have had children and you can't tell"

    That made me feel so unsexy lol...

    The stars amaze me.. but I think it's because they have the money to buy whatever they need ... personal trainers... Jessica Alba looks more in shape than she did before she had her baby
     
  12. cheeze

    cheeze New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2011
    Messages:
    128
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    In light of all this vagina talk I'm gonna be the douche to say it,,,,,


    :pics


    yeesssss?
     
  13. Everett_Spair

    Everett_Spair Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2010
    Messages:
    458
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sweden
    I want to see more mens clothes shops. it's always just shops with only women clothes. It's gotten really bad here and I have serious trouble finding clothes I like because there are hardly any mens clothes to choose from.

    it's a sad thing that women feel bad about themselves. They shouldn't because I and I'm sure most men are just happy that there are women, any women in the world. no matter what they look like.
     
  14. Trond

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2009
    Messages:
    1,665
    Likes Received:
    387
    Gender:
    Male
    Seriously??? This seems to be an area where women are unhappy no matter what. Many women complain about things being "too visible" down there. Sounds like you have a nice and tidy vagina to me. :)


    In general though: Yes, I think some commercials are insensitive and sometimes completely moronic, but honestly, we mostly do this to ourselves. We like beautiful people, so we are more likely to idolize and take advice from someone with a beautiful face, particularly when all you see is one picture or a commercial lasting only a few seconds. If the commercials weren't there, we would most likely be envious of our prettier and more successful cousin or friend.

    I think looking good is definitely more important to women, but the pressure can be quite strong on men as well. Mostly to be cool, confident, physically imposing, earn lots of money, and to be a chick magnet in general.
     
  15. backcheck64

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2010
    Messages:
    3,433
    Likes Received:
    1,040
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Missouri
    My wife did put on quite a bit of weight after having our second, but she hated the way she looked and health issues were cropping up so she dropped the weight, and then some. She works out religiously and after having two kids, has a size 0-1 body, defined abs, the pinicle of fit, celulite, no stretch marks....Don't think your ex would guess she has had two kids and is 45yrs old.

    She is uncomfortable with a small scar from an apendectomy when she was a kid and her belly button is an outtie. She has to find bikini bottoms that cover the scar. Been looking for a monokini for her, but no one has any around here and she doesn't like buying clothes on the internet.
     
  16. Untamed

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2010
    Messages:
    2,168
    Likes Received:
    331
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    New Zealand
    That's awesome to not have stretch marks! and lose all that weight!!! Big ups to your wife :)

    When I was pregnant with my first I got a really annoying rash on my stomach which caused me to scratch my stomach and it made the stretch marks that weren't so visible even more so and now I just hate my stomach completely even if I lost the belly flab it would still be my least favourite area of my body (I think the rash was due to eating "Peanut butter and jam" sandwiches as my boy who I was pregnant with is allergic to peanut butter but who knows?)

    and yeah I know there are a lot of women out there that still look good after having children I'm just not one of them.
     
  17. backcheck64

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2010
    Messages:
    3,433
    Likes Received:
    1,040
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Missouri
    My wife is lactose intollerant when she's pregnant...but my daughter is all of the time.
     
  18. Untamed

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2010
    Messages:
    2,168
    Likes Received:
    331
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    New Zealand
    Cool well I guess that is why :)
     
  19. Woody81

    Woody81 Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2010
    Messages:
    142
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Barbie's dreamhouse
    I believe that rash is called pupp. Some women tend to get that with their first child in the third tri. That shit is brutal. My wife got it and was so freaking miserable. I spent many a evenings rubbing oatmeal based lotion on her just to try and soothe her skin.
     
  20. Untamed

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2010
    Messages:
    2,168
    Likes Received:
    331
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    New Zealand
    :(

    That was lovely of you. It was brutal and I had many sleepless nights it was terrible. With my second though I didn't get the rash.