blowjob?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by ducktales, Jul 18, 2007.

  1. ducktales

    ducktales New Member

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    I have been dating a girl for a while and recently we've started getting more intimate. I would really like her to give me a blowjob, but I'm not sure how to approach this. I have gone down on her several times so its not as if I'm unwilling to return the favor, so to speak. However, I'm pretty sure she has never done it before which makes me think that she will probably be scared to do so. Also, I'm a little scared to ask as I'm unsure what her reaction would be, I'm afraid she might think its disgusting/demeaning and think that I think she is some kind of whore or something like that.

    Any advice?
     
  2. Bluesy

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    If she's been receptive to cunnilingus, I don't see why she would find fellatio demeaning. It could be that she's just nervous and needs to ease into things. What can be off-putting for a lot of women in the beginning isn't the actual BJ, it's the ejaculate (it can gag a woman if it hits the back of the throat, and sometimes the taste/feel of it in the mouth is unpleasant). Perhaps sometime when the two of you are already immersed in a discussion about sex you could casually ask her if she's ever given a BJ. If she has and says she didn't like it, you could ask her what she didn't like about it. If she hasn't, you could ask her how she feels about it, if she has any concerns...and go from there.

    As long as it doesn't seem to her like you're using the conversation as a platform for pressuring her for a BJ, I think she'll feel comfortable opening up about it. Let us know how things go :)
     
  3. TeethsoWhite

    TeethsoWhite New Member

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    If you've been dating this girl for a long time, as so you say, i think it shouldnt be too huge of an issue just to blatantly ask her. As far as i know, going down on a girl multiple times is good enough grounds to be allowed to ask for a blowjob :)
     
  4. Iron Hero

    Iron Hero New Member

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    If you've done it to her, and you've been dating for a long time, You should just ask for one.

    Maybe after going down on her, ask her to give it a try ;)
     
  5. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    I would just gently push her head down
    to it and maybe She will do it, If not, Then its time for a talk.

    Hiker
     
  6. Bluesy

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    Nuh uh. Yeah, push her head down if you want to royally piss her off :mad My first bf did that and only succeeded in making me less inclined to give him a BJ. That's a piss poor substitute for an honest, open, caring discussion about sex.
     
  7. NaughtyKnickers

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    My first blowjob started with a gentle downward nudge to my head, which is all it took. I had wanted to suck him, but was way too shy and that wordless gesture allowed me to experiment with giving him oral without feeling like I was being the initiating whorish cocksucker. :)

    However I can understand where that could backfire and piss some women off. I think it would depend on the personalities involved and the dynamics of the relationship. :shrug
     
  8. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    DuckTales You have been doing it to Her.
    And as NK said, She just may need a little nudge to let Her
    know that you would like it.

    You didn't say how old your are. I presume you are young
    And I can remember being their, And believe Me action works better
    than words when young, As not many young people
    can keep their composure when discussing a blow job.

    And Blusey I did not say force Her head down.

    Hiker
     
  9. Bluesy

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    No, I know what you meant: a gentle little push in the right direction. I never had my head "forced" into a guy's lap; I was referring to the same sort of gesture. Oral sex doesn't mean the same thing to the younger generation that it did to ours; it's no longer a taboo activity, girls have no reason to feel "whorish" for wanting to go down. If a guy goes down on a girl multiple times, the girl has to know that the guy is antcipating reciprocation--it's common knowledge these days. If a girl doesn't inititiate, she's most likely feeling nervous, and guiding her head isn't going to help her overcome her nerves, sorry to say. A blatant gesture like that could even backfire and cause her to feel increased anxiety. Whereas talking about it, getting whatever concerns out into the open, presents an opportunity to alleviate irrational fears or doubts, making her feel more relaxed. A relaxed sex partner is a better sex partner, I'm sure you would agree.
     
  10. azezpz1

    azezpz1 New Member

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    You could buy a pack of assorted condoms, and maybe some of them will be flavored. See how she sounds to that. If you're not to that sexual point in the relationship for sex, than I would just be blunt and ask. That's just me though, and my GF has never gone down on me, so take that with a grain of salt :)
     
  11. rodalfo

    rodalfo New Member

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    good idea above, try a flavored condom to start with.
     
  12. Father Bob

    Father Bob New Member

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    if you've been together for a while, and you've gone down on her....it's relatively simple....when you get done, just set back, unzip and say "your turn!"

    if she wants to, she will......if not she'll sure start a conversation about it.
     
  13. ducktales

    ducktales New Member

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    Thanks for all the responses. We talked about it and she said that she didn't feel she was ready and that she didn't think she would like how it tasted and she thought I would think less of her. I told her that I didn't want to pressure her and that I would never think less of her and we left it at that. However, a couple of days ago when she was giving me a handjob she just looked me in the eyes and started licking my penis and sucking it. She told me she wants to suck me all the time. funny how things end up
     
  14. Bluesy

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    Oh, it doesn't surprise me at all :) We women aren't such mysterious creatures...we respond to things like kindness and consideration; being made to feel that our happiness is paramount to your happiness, gestures of love and thoughtfulness, is like water and sunlight to a developing seedling. You nourish us with good stuff, and our admiration, affection, and desire to please you blooms like crazy. You gave her respect and love, you inspired her to want to make you happy. It's such a simple equation and the whole world would benefit tremendously if we all practiced it daily. It's karma ;)
     
  15. Stangkilla

    Stangkilla New Member

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    Definitely agree.

    Just simply ask.
     
  16. TXPSD777

    TXPSD777 New Member

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    Could always try 69 and see if that works, better than pushing her head down...lol
     
  17. Skeptix

    Skeptix New Member

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    Okay...here's my take on blowjobs:

    I never cum in a woman's mouth. I would never expect a woman to take it and I would never ask her to. The beauty of a blowjob is the process, the slow, wet, warmth of the mouth...the sensations that the vagina just does not provide. The guy does not need to cum in a person's mouth to make it a blowjob. Why can't you just enjoy it and pull away before you cum? That's exactly what I do and I get pretty regular service down there. The only time I've ever let it happen is when I warned her I was about to cum and started to pull away and the woman I was with held on for dear life...sucking every last drop down. It was the most erotic moment...partly because we both knew it was something new and different for us.

    I just think it is extremely presumptuous to just let go like that. If she knows you are enjoying it for the intimacy and intense sensation and not just to have another way to shoot your load...she may be more "into it". And when she does, give real feedback...not lame shit like "suck it baby" or "deep throat me!"...just express yourself and tell her what feels good and what not to do ("no biting!").

    For me, blowjobs are one part of foreplay. And...I confess to being a giver too...so having done so I can honestly say I would have liked a little warning that first time. I never used to assume I'd catch a load in my mouth, so my reaction wasn't all that positive. He felt bad about it and his wife chastised him a bit (especially since he didn't save it for her)...so later hook-ups (even those when it was just me and him) ended with me finishing him off by hand or leaving him (and myself) with a serious case of blue balls. He paid me back in kind....


    Ahhh...good times those...
     
  18. TXPSD777

    TXPSD777 New Member

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    very well said
     
  19. Bluesy

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    I concur!

    Skeptix, do you think the fact that you've given BJs before has contributed to your very mature and enlightened attitude towards them? I wonder if it's something most guys have to experience first-hand in order to understand why some women wouldn't want it in their mouths.

    What an excellent bit of sex etiquette! Thanks for sharing that :tup :bow to the gentleman. Goodness knows we need more guys like you in the world!
     
  20. Skeptix

    Skeptix New Member

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    I'm not going to claim to be any more 'enlightened' than anyone else...I just look at it like two completely separate acts. One is the blowjob itself...the stimulation with the mouth and tongue. The second is and always should be optional, agreed upon by both parties...the giving/taking of cum. Every aspect of sex is something that all parties involved should consent to and not just assume is okay with all others. Some things should be more explicitly agreed upon than others. I'm not trying to sound smug or superior to anyone here. I'm no mega stud and I don't claim to be entirely selfless in bed. I guess it's just the "golden rule"...do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Even before I gave my first blowjob I never really wanted to cum in my partner's mouth 'cause I knew I wouldn't want that for myself.

    Maybe that is a little naive or overly sensitive...but I can honestly say that my most intense orgasms EVER occurred immediately after a blowjob when I was getting stroked by hand, lubed by my partner's saliva or vaginal juices. Hell...one time I even almost lost consciousness during an orgasm. hehe...quick story. back seat of a car...husband driving, wife going down on me. she pulled off and started stroking and kissing my cock and i swear to god my vision blurred, i don't remember trying to make a noise but i heard myself screaming and when my head cleared i actually had tears on my face. that one raised the bar for all my future orgasms and has yet to be matched.