Bizarre Irrationality

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by bricolage, Aug 20, 2009.

  1. bricolage

    bricolage New Member

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    Ok, so this is something I've just begun to struggle with recently. I have a woman that I've started to really like and it might get much deeper. I really like her and I have gotten close to her over the past year. Well, we started up a relationship recently and all has been going well. Except I cannot get my mind to stop thinking about her previous relationship.

    Yea...I don't know why I got fixated on that. But for some reason when I think of them (they were together long ago and do not communicate) and their sex life it disturbs me. They had done things I haven't done, which is part of it--and whenever I think about words she used to describe those interactions it bothers me. And now it's starting to interfere how I feel about her--I don't want to feel different about her like that but I don't know how to make things click in my mind and put it to rest. I tried telling her to see if it would help--but she told me to not think about it, which has resulted in me thinking about it more.

    How to fix this? What's going on in my head?
     
  2. heelfetish

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    This is one of those unfortunate times where you need a good smack upside the head. Come on, man! You know that what you're thinking is wrong, so stop thinking about it! You have to realize that every person has a past. And if you can't accept that, then you need to end the relationship. Because you are not being fair to her.

    Sorry for the bluntness, but often times it's the only way advice gets through in these situations.
     
  3. HardRocker

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    Damn dude, don't waste an opportunity, ask her to teach you some new sexual things. Take advantage of the fact that she's got skills you've never tried. When you get too old to fuck(and you will), do you want to be doing what Heely said, slapping yourself upside the head?
     
  4. bricolage

    bricolage New Member

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    I greatly appreciate the bluntness--I haven't gotten it to work on me myself.

    One thing that gets me is how she did things she did with him, or so it was implied, that she will not do with me.... I dunno...I try to make myself stop thinking that shit but it keeps coming back.
     
  5. bricolage

    bricolage New Member

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    True...I've done other things she has not...but still...for some reason I cannot f'n drop it.
     
  6. bricolage

    bricolage New Member

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    I think I am just trying to figure out what I'm missing...what is it that's making my mind do this?
     
  7. igor

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    Did she just volunteer this information or did you ask her for details of her past? And maybe while she did certain things a certain way, she didn't enjoy them and that's why it isn't happening with you.
     
  8. bricolage

    bricolage New Member

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    It was volunteered information. I don't try to ask those things and have been trying not to.

    As stupid as it sounds I didn't consider the possibility of that last sentence you wrote.
     
  9. HardRocker

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    Or maybe she could see your uneasiness when she told you, so she doesn't want to try anything you're uncomfortable with.

    See, there are so many possibilities, you're wasting your time stewing over it. The only cure is to open up to her and find out each others' real feelings on it.
     
  10. heelfetish

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    Agreed. :)

    I'll admit I was a little hung up on my ex's past when we first got together, but I soon realized that she had chosen to be with ME. And that was all that mattered.
     
  11. bricolage

    bricolage New Member

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    I am doing better...I just figured out that I was worried that she didn't feel the same way about me that I do about her. Which is bullshit, so I'm good.
     
  12. fantasien

    fantasien New Member

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    And that's not a easy choice for most girls. Esspecialy when cross dressing is concerned.