Bisexuality

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Barent, Mar 21, 2016.

  1. Barent

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    I've heard for years that bisexuality is extremely rare, due to the requirement that a "real" bisexual has no preference between genders, in other words to be bisexual you must be equally attracted to women and men. This opinion, frequently expressed as fact, is so prevalent that I bought into it, until recently. The truth is, it's a simplistic, and discriminatory, view of a complex subject has marginalized the bisexual community, with very bad results. There's a lot more going on against bisexuals, according to studies written about in the below link. There's now a growing number of bisexual people who no longer identify with the LGBT community, due to discriminatory attitudes and practices regarding bisexual people, many of whom turned to the LGBT for acceptance and friendship.

    http://www.theestablishment.co/2016/02/03/bisexuality-invisibility-lgbtq/

     
    #1 Barent, Mar 21, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2016
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  2. 10_3XL

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    It's upsetting - the discrimination and its effects described. More so considering the LGBTQ community makes such a big deal about acceptance of everyone no matter what, then in so many cases turns their back on one of their own (y'know, the "B" in "LGBTQ").

    It makes me wonder about how other groups that don't fit neatly into hetero-/homosexual categories feel about the community - beyond just the bisexual members.


    If nothing else, it goes to show one thing, though: No matter what, at the end of the day, people are people. :confused:
     
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  3. Nixie

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    Well that would be me then. ;)

    I'm pansexual (I fancy all genders, although not all of them equally), and yeah, there's definitely discrimination in the LGBTQ community going in all directions, but that's just because we're all human, and humans can sometimes be rather slow to learn.

    I hesitate to even call it a "community", as it's really just an umbrella term for anyone with a minority sexual preference and/or minority gender identity. Contrary to popular belief, we don't spend our days constantly hanging out with other members of the community - for the most part we just lives our lives the same as everyone else. Yes there are people that are very active in the LGBTQ clubs or in specific organisations, but they make up a small minority of the LBGTQ population. Well, in my experience anyway.

    To be honest, I'm not surprised there's the same level of discrimination within the so-called community as there is outside of it. Just because we're all minorities, doesn't mean everyone's going to get along. It would be like putting a bunch of people from minority ethnicities or minority religions together and expecting they'll get along because they're all minorities. Humans just don't work that way. It would be great if we did, but sadly we don't.

    When you think of it, gays and lesbians have certain traits they share more with heterosexuals than they do with bisexuals/pansexuals. For one thing, gays, lesbians and heterosexuals all fancy one gender - whereas bisexuals/pansexuals are the ones that fancy more than one gender. So yeah, sometimes I think the LGBTQ "community" is a bit of a misnomer. But again, that's just my experience.

    I do think, however, that the community (such as it is) has improved over the years. Of course, I'm talking about my local community and couldn't possibly comment on ones further afield. But that's because of the people that have stuck in there, patiently working together to help educate each other about our differences - either on a volunteer level at the local LGBTQ centre or just by having one-on-one discussions with each other (I find the local pub is a great place to do this).

    So I can't agree with the video that was posted, saying bisexuals (and therefore, I'm guessing pansexuals as well, seeing as we're in the "fancying more than one gender club" too) should leave the LGBTQ community. I don't see how running away from a problem does anything to fix it, and I think we've come too far to give up now.

    Yes there are some arsehole lesbians out there that will say I can't truly fancy girls as much as they do, seeing as I still fancy other genders too. They can be seriously bitchy and it can feel very belittling. And there are people in the community that think I'm turning my back on the community if I'm with a guy (erm, what part "all genders" do you not understand?). But I put this down to either a lack of education or just pure willful ignorance (either they haven't learned what we're all about, or they don't want to learn as it doesn't fit their cosy yet limited worldview).

    So yeah, like @10_3XL said, people are people. Some are lovely, some are shite. I just don't think that running away and declaring ourselves as the martyred former members of the LGBTQ community will do anything but send us further to the fringes of society and set us back god knows how many years. I know the guy in the video is trying to help people, but it's a short-term solution that will come back to bite us in the arse in the long run and I don't think it's a wise thing to do. Far better, in the long run, to stick in there and keep educating (and learning too - we're not always perfect ourselves!).
     
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  4. SexyFantasyGirl

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    IMO that's not true at all,a bi person can like both men and women ,but prefer one over the other and still be bi.
    I prefer women, I live with one,but I still like oral sex with men
    and I am bi
    bi means you have sex with both men and women and that's all it means
     
    #4 SexyFantasyGirl, Mar 31, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2016
  5. Lou_x

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    I wonder what we call (if there is a word) governments around the world they manage to fuck everybody :confused:
     
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  6. Barent

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    It's called politics.
     
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  7. SexyFantasyGirl

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    never understood why people need or want to put labels on other people
     
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  8. Hottie6275

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    I agree. Why is it ok for a girl to be bisexual and everyone thinks it's hot? A guy says he's bisexual or bi-curious and everyone seems to hear or think that he's gay? And even that label shouldn't matter.
     
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  9. DayPlay3

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    It's because if you put a label on, then you don't have to do the "Smell test" when you open the Jar.
    ;)
     
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  10. 10_3XL

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    Thanks, Nixie, for taking the time to answer from the standpoint of one who "fancies more than one gender."

    Like you said, we can't expect all people of a minority groups to get along with everyone else in said group by pure virtue of the fact that they're similar. As you pointed out, it'd be like expecting me to get along with all other Jewish people in my area simply because, "Well, but you're all Jews, right?" Unfortunately, I fall into that thinking (because they're all ______, they all get along) when it comes to people of different sexualities. Partially, this is because I'm not directly involved in the "community" -- I am only involved insofar as a hetero (w/curious moments) friend/advocate can be. Also, I feel like that error in thinking is due to the public picture put on by the advocate members -- the public faces -- of the "community." Because they represent this great united front, and shield/hide the Bad Stuff (understandable in the case of one attempting to further your cause), that it's easy to get the impression that everyone gets along swimmingly and there is no in-fighting or disagreements about how to proceed with achieving their end goals. It's kind of like the phenomenon with social media that "Nobody has a bad life on Facebook" -- an impression given because everyone only posts the happy positive stuff and keeps the negative to themselves. (Well, usually, anyway.)

    I know I'm painting in broad and simple brushstrokes here, but I think everyone gets my point. :p
     
  11. Justme84

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    I don't know if this is true. I've always fantasizes about having a mmf threesome w my wife and sucking some cock. Maybe getting banged while I bang my wife. I'll always be more attracted to the female body, but would defn let the above story happen. I'd say that's pretty bisexual
     
  12. angelonyc

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    I've met a few Bi guys,, and their sexual preference changes with time, and particularly the individual.. Some can flip-flop on a day.. Some will do it with both on the same session.. Others stick to one for for weeks, months, or years.. Some end a straight relationship, then jump into a gay one and vice verser.. Some migrate after scores of years 20-40....
    It's really shades of grey.. not one extreme or the other.

    I think Bi's have it pretty hard, cause gays just look at them afraid to come out of the closet.. Some straights look at them as freaks, really fags, but just trying to pretend they are straight..
     
  13. Hypersexual11

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    ^^^^^ what angel said ^^^^^
    Too many people think in black and white. Bisexuality doesn't even register as a real thing. I think it's best to simply keep it between yourself and the people in your pants. There has never been a point where I felt the need to defend, define or talk about bisexuality. It's only a subject if you want it to be and if you want it to be, then there is probably an agenda. That's why we have the SF. So we can out ourselves in an environment where being judged is not only less common, but way less important. Being judged by a faceless line of letters is much easier than daddy at the kitchen table.
     
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  14. cook74

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    I just imagined my 70 year old Russian father finding out that I am fascinated by transsexuals and the dinner conversation we would have afterwards...
     
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  15. Barent

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    When I was young, and my father was alive, we once spoke about same sex attraction. He said, "I just can't picture myself walking down the street, arm-in-arm, with someone who looks like me". :p
     
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  16. Sagittarius84

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    I think it's the societal consequences that define this attitude...all but the most conservative of men have no issue with dating a woman who has dated women, vastly more women will refuse to date a man that has dated men.
     
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  17. Hottie6275

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    The idea of dating another man does not interest me at all. The idea of having a MMF three way does. The idea of touching and even sucking another penis does hold a certain interest. Just as I wonder what it feels like for a woman to have an orgasm, I wonder what it's like to have a dick in my mouth, or to,lick that dick and pussy as one is fucking the other.

    But all that carries the label of bisexual, or bi-curious. And it's those labels that seem unnecessary or at least offensive in some minds. And certainly disgusts some guys, and maybe girls, who think that desire somwhow lessens me as a man.
     
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  18. Sagittarius84

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    So what, if you don't mind me asking, holds the most interest to you experiencing a penis, or experiencing a man?
     
  19. Sagittarius84

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    And by dating, originally I meant sex, romantic etc., don't think too many girls have an issue with guys going to dinner or a movie with a platonic male friend..lol
     
  20. Hottie6275

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    I don't mind you asking. I'm not really sure what it is. It might just be the desire to know what it feels like. Have you ever had the desire to touch a flame even though you knew it would be hot? Or maybe it's the desire to share that animalistic moment during sex when nothing was considered wrong. Or maybe it's just a desire to broaden ones sexual sense of adventure.
     
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