Bigots

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by kbate, Jan 29, 2005.

  1. kbate

    kbate New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2004
    Messages:
    571
    Likes Received:
    1
    Wednesday my partner and I were accosted by a bigot in Washington D.C.

    I know everyone would like to think they would confront their attacker, reason with the asshole, show them the error of their ways and then feeling smug and secure in our righteous aura. It didn't work that way. The shock was intense, the hurt deep and both mental and physical. I cried and ran to my car, Sarah didn't speak for a day.

    We are openly together. We never thought there was cause to be any other way. We go everywhere together, we hold hands, we kiss and we wrap arms around each other. Because of this we were chosen for a verbal assault, he called us names, other people overhearing laughed, and did nothing to stop him.

    I am not feeling a high level of love for people right now and my "gay pride is low also."
     
  2. Jaybee

    Jaybee New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2004
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Sorry to hear it. And on behalf of decent hetero males everywhere, I sincerely apologise for that morons actions.

    That part of me feels sorry for gays and lesbians; gays are almost always non-violent, and lesbians are no physically stronger than their straight counterparts. Either way, homosexuals are unlikely to hit back, LITERALLY, at their attackers.

    The only minority I'm a member of is being a man of colour. If I were walking down the street hand in hand with a white girlfriend, and the same bigot subjected us to a similar verbal assault, he'd soon find himself a victim in a not so verbal one.

    In time, believe it or not, you'll probably look back and pity that stupid cretin. To actually do what he did is a sign he leads a pathetic life.

    Meantime, have a big Jaybee hug...

    :)

    Jaybee
     
  3. Logger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2003
    Messages:
    1,214
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    Sorry About That.

    Gay Marriage cost Kerry the election, in my opinion. There is a lot of right wing hatred pent up in homophobia. Many churches worked on getting their members to vote against Kerry because of Gay Marriage. There is the gang mentality in addition to personal ambivalence, together with hatemongers hogging the radio air waves, making the idea of Gay = Bad seem righteous.

    Republicans worked hard to mobilize and agitate the anti-gay mentality.

    Maybe you found some people in DC for the Anti-Roe v. Wade parade. Abourtion = Murder is another Christian Right belief distortion.

    Wish I had a simple, one-line answer.

    Blessings
     
  4. kbate

    kbate New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2004
    Messages:
    571
    Likes Received:
    1
    Are you trying to Blame the Republicans for me being attacked by a bigot?

    That takes a stretch of the imagination at best, and a two by four to the head might help make room for that theory.

    A localized attack by a Bigot indicating the nefarious intent of a national political party? This attack the result of the reelecton of G.W.?

    Could it be that two girls holding hands, and one wiping tears from the other's eye just pinpointed an easy emotional target to an angry confused young man?

    I didn't see his Republican party credentials, nor did I mention his Rush Limbaugh T-Shirt and Bill O'Riley hat.

    And the election.. lol... NO sitting president has ever Lost reelection in Time of WAR. It would take a far better man than John Kerry to overcome that.
     
  5. Logger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2003
    Messages:
    1,214
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    First, let me concur with your intuitive decison to just go to your car rather than engage the criticizing individual.

    How many extra bigots do you estimate come to DC for the yearly anti Roe V. Wade March?

    How many bigots do you estimate are normally in Washington DC? Middle America? The coasts? The world?

    How often do you expect to run into a Bigot, as you are going about you business and enjoyment?

    Do you and your partner plan to change your displays of love when in uncertain company?

    How much money do you estimate is being spent every day with the intent to overturn Roe v. Wade? How many volunteer or underpaid workers are devoting how many hours a week to reducing family plannint choices for Women?

    Politically, to me, the more important question is what will be the result of withholding family planning from the women in the developing countires of the world? The ultimate Bigot to me, is Chris Smith, Congressman from Trenton New Jeresey, who is gutting forein aid and UN Aid for family planning, in the name of reducing the number of abortions (Saving Lives).

    Apparently my view on political realities is different from yours.

    My personal expience is having been beaten up by a circle of policemen. I have been beaten up other times, but the vison of the circle of policemen punching and kicking me has stuck with me, as bigotry. I try to appear mainstream, as much as possible, to avoid situations getting out of hand.

    Saw an interesting licence plate the other day, "BI NOW".

    Blessings
     
    #5 Logger, Jan 30, 2005
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2005
  6. Mystic

    Mystic New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2004
    Messages:
    194
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Canada
    I am really As much as I stand up and defend, I still cannot bring myself to tell them. (My sorry that you and your GF had to go through that, kbate. That in itself is probably the reason when I never came out when I was seeing a woman. I wish I could just say that I find women attractive, emotionally and physically. My mother and soon to be MIL like to go off on every chance they get on lesbians and gays. BF completely understands that I love a person for the person regardless of their sex.) I wonder what would be different in my life if I could just stand up and be proud to be me, like you. Just remember that this guy is a jerk and it will come back to bite him on the ass.
     
  7. Giancarlo

    Giancarlo New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2003
    Messages:
    166
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    I'm considered a log cabin republican. Please don't overgeneralize. Thanks. John Kerry was also against gay marriage.

    First off I condemn such bigotry. I have been subjected to it. It is disgusting to see such displays. I thought this was the country of the free.
     
  8. duhast

    duhast New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2005
    Messages:
    51
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    SoCal
    As for me.....

    Life Member VFW.

    Life Member NRA.

    Voted for Nixon, Reagan, Bush 1 and Bush 2.

    Listen to Rush.

    Listen to Sean Hannity.

    Watch Fox News.

    Traditionalist/Conservative/Libertarian politics.

    I do not support Gay Marriage, and am not particularly comfortable with public displays of gay affection.

    That having been said, the creep was way out of line, and may have ended up with a bloody nose if I had been there. My comfort aside, he was very wrong to attack kbate in that way. He is entitled to his own feelings about such things, but does not have the right to verbally assault others. It is also not a very smart thing to do. It may get him killed some day.

    I have a gay half brother.

    At 54, I am experimenting with my own bisexuality.

    Now, who's gonna call me a right-wing hate-filled bigot?
     
  9. Logger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2003
    Messages:
    1,214
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Duhast,

    First Let me thank you for serving in the military of the Free World.

    My comments are apparently part of the basis for your post. Certainly I did not have you in mind, personally, when I posted to Kbate. My point was that there are bigots in the U.S., and it is difficult to anticpate who they are, and where they are. Also, some people may generally be mostly normal, but in certain situations, some fairly normal people can get triggered, and say or do things that they ordinarily might not say or do.

    So expressing affection in public, is a choice that sometimes has consequences. Inter-racial couples and homosexual lovers sometimes create sparks.

    This forum is not just for one particular political point of view. I have suggested to Ryan that a political/sexual category be established, so that issues of politics can be debated separately from sexual issues. Political discussions can get heated. My post suggesting a Political Forum was under Announcements, Site Feedback and Suggestions. Thread, 2nd Post: http://sexualforums.com/talk/showthread.php?t=1271

    What would you advise Kbate about further public displays of affection with her woman partner?

    There are Republicans who are Homosexual or Bi-sexual. Many Republicans have a balanced view on homosexuality. Not all homsexuals are Democrats. One other point I was trying to make, though, was that there was an organized effort by the right, to mobilize Christian Church Goers, to vote aganst Kerry, because he was less opposed to Gay marriage than was W Bush. Do you deny that there was a targeted mobilization by the Chritian Right for an anti-gay vote for W? The Anti Gay ideas to vote against Kerry were aimed at family churches, so that there would be minimal discouragement to Gay Republicans.

    Another point I was trying to make was that the Pro-Life movement has actaully become Anti-Birth control, and has cut many family planning programs and funding for the US and the UN. Clinton may not have done so much for family planning, but W Bush has pretty much wiped out help to poor women. Are you asserting that poor women throughout the world now have adequate access to family planning, and are able to secure adequate pregnancy testing and pre-natal services and nutrition to have the best chance for healthy babies without avoidable learning disabilities?

    Another point I was making was that there is an alliance between the anti-gay and Pro-life factions, in the Christian Right. Do you deny there is any connection?

    A further point I was making is that these Anti-Gay and Anti-Family-Planning factions in the Christian Right are politically motivated to gain control of Congress, the White House and the U.S. Supreme Court. Have you ever read any stories about how the Christian Coalition lost its tax Exempt Status?

    There are Pro-life individuals who post on this board. There are a couple of threads on Abortion, that I have posted on. The unfortuante reality is that many broad minded, pro-choice Republicans are unaware that the Christian Right has largely co-opted the Republican Party.

    Have you ever talked to Anne Stone, of the Republican Pro-Choice Majority in Alexandria, Virginia? Anne has a tough time with Congressmen and other politicians who have taken money from the Right, and been elected by the Republicans, who are mostly pro-choice.

    These issues can be highly emotional, so let me know if I should soften the expressions of my ideas. There is a Political forum on mysticwicks. com that tries to take an even-handed approach, if you are intersted in a wider debate.

    Are you asserting the Rush tries to take a balanced view on Gays? Family Planning? AIDS disease containment?

    Blessings
     
    #9 Logger, Feb 1, 2005
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2005
  10. Giancarlo

    Giancarlo New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2003
    Messages:
    166
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    23-25% of gays and bisexuals voted for Bush. Bush isn't as all extreme as you tried to make him. He now says he is not pursueing a gay marriage ban.
     
  11. Frank Grimes

    Frank Grimes New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2004
    Messages:
    452
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sector 7-G
    To Logger

    I don't understand why someone being against Roe v. Wade makes them a bigot? Totally lost me there....
     
  12. duhast

    duhast New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2005
    Messages:
    51
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    SoCal
    ...

    "Certainly I did not have you in mind, personally, when I posted…"

    I never thought so. No harm, no foul.





    "What would you advise Kbate about further public displays of affection with her woman partner?"

    In light of your comment below,:

    "So expressing affection in public, is a choice that sometimes has consequences. Inter-racial couples and homosexual lovers sometimes create sparks."

    …I think ultimately, it's her call. If they think they can handle the situations as they arise, go for it. If they think they may sometimes be in danger, perhaps some discression is called for. In the military, it's called "camouflage"….helps you hide from the enemy. Just as people should generally keep their bigoted outbursts to themselves, so should same sex couples be sensitive to the fact that the reality is that huge majorities find certain behavior offensive. BOTH sides need to use their brains. (That is a general statement, Kbate, not directed to you personally. :) )




    "Do you deny that there was a targeted mobilization by the Chritian Right for an anti-gay vote for W?"

    I reject your premise that the "mobilization" is "anti-gay". Do you deny that there was a targeted mobilization by the Non-Christian Left led by the likes of Mr. Moore and George Soros against W and the Christian Right?




    "The Anti Gay ideas to vote against Kerry were aimed at family churches, so that there would be minimal discouragement to Gay Republicans."

    Huh? Wha? Gay Republicans don't go to" family churches" (whatever those are)? Haven't seen too many church signs that say "Not A Family Church". Or vice versa.




    "…the Pro-Life movement has actaully become Anti-Birth control…"

    Not aware of that. Other than the Catholic Church, I'm not aware of any Pro-lifers who oppose people using condoms, or contraceptives. Pro-lifers oppose the "morning after" pill because conception potentially has occurred….but that's a different subject.

    "…and has cut many family planning programs and funding for the US and the UN. Are you asserting that poor women throughout the world now have adequate access to family planning, and are able to secure adequate pregnancy testing and pre-natal services and nutrition to have the best chance for healthy babies without avoidable learning disabilities?"

    It's gonna sound cold, but nevertheless it is true…Show me where in the U.S. Constitution what you propose above is authorized. Show me where it is written that it is my responsibility to provide money for birth control services to the women of the entire world.




    "…there is an alliance between the anti-gay and Pro-life factions, in the Christian Right. Do you deny there is any connection?"

    I know of no true Christian (in the true and full sense of the word) organization that is anti-gay.






    "…Anti-Gay and Anti-Family-Planning factions in the Christian Right are politically motivated to gain control of Congress, the White House and the U.S. Supreme Court."

    Please explain how this is different from Pro-Gay, Pro-abortion, and the Non-Christian Left from trying to do the same thing. It's called politics, and it's how things work.





    "…pro-choice Republicans are unaware that the Christian Right has largely co-opted the Republican Party."

    And main-stream Democrats are largely unaware that the Wacko-Kook Far Left has co-opted the Democtaric Party.






    Are you asserting the Rush tries to take a balanced view on Gays? Family Planning? AIDS disease containment?

    Are you asserting W takes an extreme view? If so, by who's analysis is it extreme? Can it not be that he has convictions on these issues, and as a leader, is being guided by his convictions? Concensus is absence of leadership. A leader leads…."This is where I'm going, follow me." Are you asserting that Teddy Kenedy takes a balanced view on anything, or is himself, mentally balanced?

    France used to design it's military weapons by committee, i.e. consensus, and armed it's army with some of the most usless pieces of crap ever conceived by man. Politics is not very different.
     
    #12 duhast, Feb 2, 2005
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2005
  13. kbate

    kbate New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2004
    Messages:
    571
    Likes Received:
    1
    Enough

    Let's not turn my misfortune at the hands of an asshole in Washington DC into an excuse for a discussion of all things conservative or all things liberal.

    I do not know the man who accosted me. He could be anyone from any political background. Whichever protest or march going on in this city at whatever time, draws the assholes from both sides of the aisle.

    I had a bad day. It had more to do with ONE person and his problems than anything else.

    The Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual forum is not the "family planning" forum. Perhaps Ryan will create a political issue forum for this sort of thing.
     
  14. Logger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2003
    Messages:
    1,214
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    So what is your advice on public diplays of affection to homosexual couples in Washington DC? What about mixed race couples? What are your plans for displays of affection with your partner in the future, in uncertain company? What is your advice of non-traditional couples in Middle Amerca? Elsewhere?

    Blessings
     
  15. kbate

    kbate New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2004
    Messages:
    571
    Likes Received:
    1
    My view is that we will do whatever we feel like doing, we will hold hands and we will kiss when we want to. We intend to remain an open couple. I expect that we will suffer through new and different attacks by bigots. I think this incident will prepare both of us to better deal with future problems.

    Based on one incident I would not give advice to other couples in Washington D.C. or any other city. I do not presume to give advice to other same sex couples about PDA in their neighborhoods. I have not been there, nor do I know their situations or personalities Simply put, every couple must make their own choice as to proper and acceptable behavior in public.