Bi husband

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by amarilis, Jul 12, 2004.

  1. amarilis

    amarilis New Member

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    I'm straight and married to a man for about an year and we are quite happy together. But recently I have had strong hints that he might have had (or he still has) an homosexual relationship with his best friend.
    When we have sex it is great and he has an enourmous pleasure when I touch his ass, and sometimes he even lets me intruduce my finger and that actually turns me on! I would do the men`s part easily if he asks me to!
    My question to you is first how to approach the subject with him, since he's not very open to talk and he's propably afraid to lose me if he reveals his "secret", and second if it is possible for a bisexual to be satisfied with a woman doing the anal penetration and to be faithful (monogamy). Do you think it is possible or am I bound to be forever betrayed????
     
  2. mischiefforfun

    mischiefforfun New Member

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    lots of guys like anal

    First off, lots of guys like anal stimulation. I love it! I starteted just being able to have my GF' touch it lightly, then the finger slowly went in, now someone can thrust in and out really hard, pounding it. Its like anything else, the more one does it, the better one gets at it. Now I fantaszie about butt plugs and strap-ons, although they may, in reality, be too big for me.

    This doesn't mean I/your husband is bi or gay, jus that he likes it. We all like different things. Of course, as I get older, I do fantasize about being with a couple, but, ironically, I don't have much interest in taking it up the ass from a guy, just other things. See, there is no connection.

    With that said, if there are other reasons to think he has been with men in the past, you coud bring up the subject of "what's the kinkiest thing you ever did?" or talk about threesomes. The fact of the matter is, if you have a good relationship with him, you should be able to bring up sexual issues (if you don't already) and just ask, "have you ever/would you ever be with another guy?" See what he says.

    Jake
     
  3. amarilis

    amarilis New Member

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    Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It's conforting to know that the anal stuff is so common and appreciated! I have no problems with it. The question that concerns me the most now is knowing if he still has this relationship, because if he had it in the past, that's ok, there's nothing I can do about it and I am not going to judge him, but if he still has it, then he's being unfaithful and lying to me, and that's a big problem!
     
  4. mischiefforfun

    mischiefforfun New Member

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    I'm glad I could help. Yes, the question is one of filedity: Is he cheating on you? I hope not. I hope your marriage stays happy.

    BTW, have YOU tried anal stimulation? I know he likes it, but you might too...

    Jake
     
  5. Corey Bryant

    Corey Bryant New Member

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    Anal stimulation is not for everyone. But a lot of people do enjoy it.

    You know your husband best. Asking him flat out - have you ever been with a guy could be hurtful. Some guys will never admit it, especially married guys. They might be afraid that you will not ever look at them again. They might think that they are no longer masculine in your eyes.

    Try the threesome approach if you are open to something like that. Or maybe another couple. It is sometimes easier that way.
     
  6. truegritt

    truegritt New Member

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    A good thing is that you seem supportive for him and thats great. I myself love getting anal attention and love it from my wife. Her touch just makes it awesome. The more comfortable you make him the more he will enjoy and yes it is possible for a woman to satisfy a mans anal lust totally. Just reasure him that you see him the same and want to please him however. Bringing it out is the toughest thing though. Once you cross that line it is a lot of erotic fun. Feel free to e mail me with any questions, i'll be glad to help all I can..:):)
     
  7. touchzing

    touchzing New Member

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    Would it be okay if he was bisexual?

    I think it is wonderful that you are willing to give you husband anal stimulation. As others have already said, a lot of men, even straight men, enjoy anal stimulation. You also said you were concerned he was having sex with his best friend. What gives you that concern? Anal sex is not all there is to being bisexual. Bisexuals, like all other people, can choose to be monogamous. If he enjoys having sex with men you two need to be able to talk about it.
     
  8. amarilis

    amarilis New Member

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    Thank you guys for the replies, it really gives me some light.
    We're slowly getting into anal stimulation, although he's quite careful, probably being afraid of showing he likes it too much! The other day he had an orgasm just with that!
    One day there was a lesbian couple at the restaurant and he said "it's a male fantasy two girls having sex, but I guess for a woman two guys is disgusting, right?" I guess a straight guy would never ask something of the kind, right? I said I don't think it's disgusting and he was surprised, but the talk ended there...
     
  9. amarilis

    amarilis New Member

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    The facts for suspecting his best friend are somewhat in the air but things like,

    - while doing a trip together (in 3) he gets the hands of both of us and says "my two great loves together"...
    - they always touch each other when they meet, more than with other friends, like they miss physical contact... plus eye contact...
    - he has a special concern on everything concerning this friend concerning gifts, invitations, sending postcards when we travel (then sending to the others as they would get offended...) and other little details...
     
  10. sexynzgirl

    sexynzgirl New Member

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    sounds like your partner has feelings for his friend, but how do you feel about it? You seem to be spending alot of time trying to get him to open up to you etc but do you feel jealous at all or are you perfectly ok with it? Some guys don't like the thought of their gf getting it on with another chick (believe it or not) so how do you feel about the possibility your man is getting hot with another one without you being there?
     
  11. amarilis

    amarilis New Member

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    You are right, I am quite jealous, as I would be about any other girl, but the thing of being a guy makes it worse... :ugh
    As I said before, I don't care about what he did in the past, as long as he's true and faithful when he's with me. I bet he wouldn't like me to be with another girl while I'm with him, even if "just for fun". Although I don't think he would dispise me if I told him I did in the past (though I didn't). It's the same point.
    As a second thought, maybe that could be a good approach, I can ask him what would he think if I said I did it in the past, trying to invert the situation... maybe that can help to bring up the subject in a smooth way? Maybe he can even get hot with the idea...
    I really don't know what I am going to do or even how am I going to react when he tells me, whatever he tells me, all I know is I NEED TO KNOW...
     
  12. touchzing

    touchzing New Member

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    If your jealous, he would be foulish to tell you he has feelings for his friend. He would know this would bring your wrath and possibly your rejection. If what you are interested in is monogomy why not talk about that instead.
     
  13. Eros

    Eros New Member

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    As for the ass thing - I am a married man and LOVE it touched - makes me cum fast!!!

    As for the infidelity - I agree - talk to him. Even if he denies it he may then stop if he is doing anything.
    Also if you open up the communication it may help. I talked to my wife and she now understands that I REALLY like my ass touched, shes okay with it and that makes me relaxed that I am not asking her to do something she thinks is gross or gay so I can enjoy it more.

    The likelyhood is that he would much rather be fingered by the woman he loves than by some guy - even a close friend. GOOD LUCK
     
  14. uprok

    uprok New Member

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    I have to ask one question. It seems that there is a stronger bond than normal between your husband and his friend, would it freighten you away from the marriage if he did at some point in his past have been sexual with his friend?
     
  15. farmy67

    farmy67 New Member

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    Being a man and knowing that I was gay from puberty, I grew up in a country town where I was expected to marry and have children. For 33 years I denied who and what I was but it eventually had to come out. If men are attracted to anal stimulation by other men, they will, in most cases, (not all) cheat on their wives and girlfriends. Most men who do this would rather die than have their secret discovered, so getting him to talk may not be an easy task. I wish you luck and will watch with interest.
     
  16. Eros

    Eros New Member

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    This seems to be a difficult situation for all members involved (the men and the women they have a relationship or marriage with). I hope that our entire country will open up and allow people to be the individuals they naturally are. I have much admiration for those who are able to come out. I hope that as a people we learn more understanding.