bf is hopeless, in my book

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by freakychicky, Mar 28, 2006.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. freakychicky

    freakychicky New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2005
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    western ny
    When me and my bf, first got together the sex was great, although I never could get off, he just doesnt last that long. Now that we've been together for a few months, its getting irritating that he won't take the time to please me, plus he only lasts for a few minutes, he claims he's nervous,and afraid that i'm gonna leave him again and we have talked about it, but he doesn't want to listen. The only time, I can get off, which I have only been able to do once, is when we were doing it doggy style, and I was able to play with my clit, without him knowing. Since then, I can't get him to do it that way. He is stubborn and has it in his head, that the only way he can make me happy, is by his dick being inserted in my pussy, and I have explained to him a couple of times, when he's asked me how he can get me off, that the only way is by clit stimulation. He just doesn't get it at all. I'm at the end of my rope, and I when I'm in the mood, and need to get off, i'll lock myself in the bathroom for a little bit. Ya think there is any hope for this 34 year old puppy, that doesn't have a clue, when he's been given the clue?
     
  2. freakychicky

    freakychicky New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2005
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    western ny
    I meant bf is hopeless........instead of hopeful
     
  3. Ryan

    Ryan Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2003
    Messages:
    15,707
    Likes Received:
    1
    I changed the title for you.

    Tell him what you want and coach him into it. If he doesn't get it even more cut him off and tell him sex is about pleasing eachother and not just himself. There are some good articles in our Article database and some good information here on the forums.

    I would post some more, but I need to go.
     
  4. freakychicky

    freakychicky New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2005
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    western ny
    Thanks Ryan!
    Actually I had cut him off for about a month, then I let him have it, and it was still the same thing and the same excuse,so I have cut him off again. :dgrin
     
  5. haolcatx

    haolcatx New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2004
    Messages:
    146
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    mid-atlantic
    Hey two words clit massager. If you google it you will get alot of hits but what it is is a small cylinder vibrator for your clit. It is the size of about ones index finger and can be to your clit in doggie, missionary (if he doesn't lay on you), or you on top facing him and away. As a matter of fact if there is any space between his chest and your chest you can put it on you.

    Sorry he is piss-poor at foreplay. On a deeper level he sounds sorta sexually selfish. If that is true it usually kinda carries over into everything about the relationship. People without an oral fetish are wierd.
     
  6. Ryan

    Ryan Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2003
    Messages:
    15,707
    Likes Received:
    1
    How is your nonsexual relationship with him?
     
  7. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2005
    Messages:
    6,823
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Dixie Land
    'Ditto' to what Haolcatx said. The guy seems quite selfish

    You have clued him in to your desires. He has chosen not to listen. You even have used the 'no sex' card (a weapon used only in the most extreme cases)!

    So, You have a choice here. Stay with him, and live a life of self-fulfillment or move on. Either way, you will have to fulfill yourself sexually for a while. But at least you won't be confined to the bathroom!
     
  8. blondboy

    blondboy New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2006
    Messages:
    105
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Georgia
    Different strokes for different folks. Go figure. If I were him I would be lapping that thing sideways, vertically and every other. A lip-lock on labia is beyond compare in my book. I simply cannot understand this situation. Find someone else if you can.
     
  9. Joe

    Joe
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2005
    Messages:
    1,681
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Rocky Mountains
    Selfish people seldom change;
    stupid people can't change.
     
  10. freakychicky

    freakychicky New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2005
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    western ny
    Our relationship on the outside of the bedroom, is kinda strained right now, due to it. He's gets hyped up on everything, like if he asks me if I need help with something and I'll tell him no, and he'll just take it like I don't love him or something, he makes a mole hill into a mountain. I know he doesnt have a side dish, cuz he has no time for it, and if he did, she sure isnt teaching him anything either. lol He's too old fashioned and has been a momma's boy for way too long, still is even tho he claims he's not.
     
  11. fantasien

    fantasien New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2004
    Messages:
    997
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    San Francisco
    Throw him to the curb! I'm sorry, But a woman needs none of this selfish man!
     
  12. catfish

    catfish New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2004
    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    N. Indiana

    I have a question for you F C .
    does he ever eat your pussy. If not see if you can talk him into it
    The average guy loves to do that and it sure stimulates the clit
    I for one like it so well that I sometimes suck and lick until the woman cums 2-3 times before any real fucking begins.
    And do you suck him. If not try it and see if that will make him want
    to do you.:)
     
  13. freakychicky

    freakychicky New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2005
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    western ny
    Yes he does like licking my pussy, but he also use to bite my "lips", he used to bite on them so hard, I had left him because of it. His reasoning was, he didn't want anyone else inside of me, and he thought if he did that, I'd be too sore to be with anyone else. But now he'll just go down on me for about 10 seconds, to get me wet, so he can get his weenie wet, and satisfied, and to hell with me being satisfied! Dont mean to sound rude there, it was pertaining to him.
     
  14. Logger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2003
    Messages:
    1,214
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    Mybe teach him some Tantric breathing. Basicaly control his breathing to delay ejaculation.

    Search Tantra and Tantric on SF. The search engine is fast.

    Communiation about sex is challenging. The man is expected to know everything. The lady hesitates to let him know how wrong the man can be.

    It takes a whicle to get things worked out. You might list out some things you want BF to do differently, and rub the muscles in his back, and while he is relaxing, and you have his attention, let him know what you want.

    Timing discussions of what you want, and setting the mood, can be important in getting BF to listen to your desires. If you wait till the intesnity of the moment, he may have difficulty in changing his habits. If you take the patience, you might be able to change him.

    A good man is hard to find. If you are making some progress with BF. it is probably wrth it to keep changing him.

    Tell him if he can't last, to bring a vibrator with him the next time, so you can finish up, after he is done.
     
  15. blackhawkflyarm

    blackhawkflyarm New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2006
    Messages:
    37
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Iraq
    Let me get this straight. This guy doesn't care if you get off, gets pissed about little things and bites you so you won't cheat with other guys?

    WTF! One of these days, this turd is going to hit you. Guarenteed.

    Forget tantric breathing, forget teaching him.

    Leave him. Find someone else.
     
  16. freakychicky

    freakychicky New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2005
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    western ny
    I don't think he'd ever hit me, and if he did, he'd have a lot of people on his ass. When I have left him, he just kicks things till they break. Which is scary enough, I've come to the conclusion, that he will never listen to learn anything new, so I'm just gonna do other things that satisfy me, whether alone, or with someone else. I know its awful to do behind his back, but I'd rather do that, then have to put up with his whining, and immature ways, and also make it hard for him to live with me. Then maybe he'll understand.
    He has good communication when it comes to work, and lawyer stuff, even tho he's not a lawyer, he's just been in too much trouble for dwi's, so he knows that by the book, but he just cant comprehend the love stuff.
     
  17. freakychicky

    freakychicky New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2005
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    western ny
    PS: as for vibrators and other toys in the bedroom, he is totally against it. He just thinks his dick can do it.
     
  18. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Messages:
    3,754
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Northern Indiana

    No advice here BUT

    Why are you staying with him at all, He is obviously a loser,
    So staying around and taking his shit will only make you a loser.
     
  19. AnonymousOne

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2006
    Messages:
    5,845
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Ditch this guy.

    -Thus sayeth Jon
     
  20. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2005
    Messages:
    6,823
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Dixie Land
    okay - it's called :
    "Enabling"

    Ms. Freaky... - you somehow think you are going to 'change' this guy.
    Not going to happen.

    We don't have 'magical answers' here.

    I believe you already know what's going down. The ball is in your court. He is CONTROLLING, ABUSIVE, SELFISH, CHILDISH, EGOTISTICAL, VIOLENT, :blahblah

    so what is it you want us to advise you about?
    If you stay with him, it is because you feel it is the best you can do.
    We can't change your mind-set.

    You already know everything we have said so far - he's a loser/asshole.

    You either stay with him... and that's your life....
    OR - you look in the mirror and say - "Woman! - You have more on the ball than this - and it might be hard at first - but DAMNIT - I am worth it"
    ... and find a man (...MAN....) who is worth your love and attention. They are out there. Don't be afraid - just do it!!!

    :rose
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.