Between satis-ficing sex and relationships

Discussion in 'Member Introductions' started by cbk78, Feb 6, 2007.

  1. cbk78

    cbk78 New Member

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    Sex is an integral part of any couple’s life. Even doctors acknowledge that a good sex life is important to a healthy well-being.

    Yet, what about sex and those who are single? Does sex figures importantly also? I have been single for the last 27 years of my life. No, I am not a virgin if that is what you think. But does sex without any semblance of emotional feelings different from those with it? As a single unattached 20-something guy, my sex drive is strong. Is it not that I do not want to find myself a girlfriend, it is because I have not yet have any success with my search so far. Call me picky, call me choosy, the fact remains that I am still single. And being single and young, sex is oftentimes on my mind.

    Thus, it may come as no surprise that I need outlets to release my sexual needs. Yes, I have visited spas, gone to massage parlors, and also did the bar scene. And yes, I occasionally do score, although scoring at spas may constitute as a given while happy endings at massage parlors fall short of the definition of a sexual encounter. Yet, to a certain extent, this is what is available for guys like me.

    This past week, I have paid for 2 sexual encounters. The experience wasn’t sexually satisfying as it could be. Both girls were merely going through the motions, faking grunts and moans all the way. They were more like automatons, and the experience wasn’t that great. They won’t accommodate different positions nor allow anything other that straight-up missionary, which is a bummer. And of course, since there were no emotions involved, it is just pure sexual release for me without any intimate connections. To some, this may be enough, but for me, this is becoming stale and leaves a hollow feeling within myself.

    So, as we are just starting the new year, I am endeavoring to have meaningful sex. This will probably entail having a girlfriend and to commit to a real relationship. Wish me luck in this endeavor, and with this, I can say goodbye to my days of going to spas and massage parlors!




    P/S: By the way, hello to everyone on this forum. I am a newbie here but the discussion and exchanges here have been enlightening. Thank you all, and keep up the good work.
     
  2. Elvis

    Elvis Member

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    Hi cbk78, I'm surprised that things are so different in Malaysia to Thailand!
    My last visit to a Thai full body massage parlour ended up with the girl sucking me and finishing off by cheerfully bouncing up and down on me. It was a very pleasant and fulfilling experience from start to finish!
     
  3. cbk78

    cbk78 New Member

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    Yup, I have to agree with you Elvis that Thai girls and Malaysian girls are very much different. Thai girls tend to be more "loving" and "caring". Yet, I am sure after a while, don't you start to feel jaded with all the meaningless sex? Thank you for your reply and thoughts though. Cheers man!
     
  4. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Welcome to :sf, cbk78. And thanks for your poignant intro. I commend your decision to find more meaningful sex. You're right, it makes for a FAR better experience!! You may go through several "girlfriends", but at least there was some sort of connection to add to the depth.

    I wish you luck!!
     
  5. cbk78

    cbk78 New Member

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    Following up from my original post, I’d like to say that the anticipation of sex could be more exciting than sex itself. This is one of the ingredients, I think, that makes sex in a relationship probably better than mere casual encounters. In a relationship, the sex probably has lots of foreplay and kissing (which I think is underrated!) and fooling around beforehand, which builds the excitement and anticipation up to the actual act itself. It gives a sense of purpose and belonging and sharing with one’s partner. I don’t know, after all I have never been in a relationship. But could someone (from a man and woman’s point of view) give their thoughts about casual and relationship sex?

    Anyway, after I had sex, my mind is clear and perhaps this is among the most honest and relaxing point in a man’s day…and then I start to yearn for more meaningful sex – which some people call lovemaking. Sex just for the sake of sex doesn’t feel as great anymore. But to get to that point, a man needs to be calm and not appear desperate lest he scares of the opposite sex, thus decreasing his chance to begin a relationship.

    And I think when a man is relaxed and isn’t desperate for sex, then he gains the upper hand in the battlefield of love. Women are certainly attracted to this type of man. The man doesn’t seek for the woman’s approval, and he is very capable of handling himself. Thus, he avoids being sex-ploited by women. Today, after I had sex, I had this feeling of empowerment (since I do not seek for sexual gratification, right after I have gotten some) and that women do not hold the sexual trump card over me. This feeling carried over to a man’s personal life is a positive force indeed. So, in order to have meaningful sex and relationship, we must strive to remember that in the game of love, we should never give away our power to women just to get laid.

    P/S: Thanks for good luck wishes Rose. Will update you forum readers once I make some progress.Have a nice day all!
     
  6. Bella

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    Hi & :welcome to :sf!
    ~Bella