bedroom Submissive wife?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by ftwguy29, Aug 29, 2011.

  1. ftwguy29

    ftwguy29 New Member

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    I'm not sure what to do here, as I'm more of a neutral than a dominant personality. My wife seems to be a bedroom submissive. This is different from a full submissive as she doesn't take any shit from anyone in everyday life, but when it comes to sexual things she's content to let someone else lead, even to the point of her messing with other men while I watch, just because I want her to and she enjoys making sure I'm happy.

    So now I'm in a situation where I could let my twisted fantasies actually play out, or not. She's cool with being submissive, I just don't know if I can be dominant. I thought she was messing with other people because she enjoyed it...but it was for my enjoyment. Now that I know that...it's all different.

    What should I do? Let's assume we embrace her submissive nature...how do I adjust to that?
     
  2. pbs

    pbs
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    You don't have to be dominant, just lead her. If she wants to please you, then let her teach you how to please her. You can do this by just learning her body language - learn to do what she responds to. She'll make all of your fantasies come true if you teach her how, but if I were you, I'd keep other guys out of her sex life, if you want to keep her for yourself.
     
  3. ftwguy29

    ftwguy29 New Member

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    Thanks for the tips. Even after 10 years together, 7 being married I'm still learning her. I do know she prefers extra men around to women, because her experiences thus far with women have been somewhat negative. I hope I can...adjust that mindset.
     
  4. pbs

    pbs
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    I thought you said that she was "messing" with other guys because she thought you liked it, and not because she wanted to. Which is it?
     
  5. Paula

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    pfff....
     
  6. ftwguy29

    ftwguy29 New Member

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    She messes around with other people because I like it. So far it's been mostly men because she prefers them to women, based on her previous bisexual experiences. In her words women can be "picky and whiny" where as men are generally happy with what we get.
     
  7. pbs

    pbs
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    Personally, I think you're both playing with fire. Sexual pleasure can be like a drug - addictive. What if she finds someone who can make her cum better, harder, or longer than you can? If seeing her with other guys makes you happy, you may get more of it than you bargained for. IMhO of course.
     
  8. ftwguy29

    ftwguy29 New Member

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    pbs, your opinion is noted and appreciated, but we are very secure in our relationship and have discussed this for quite some time. We will be fine.
     
  9. mrmusicmr

    mrmusicmr New Member

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    YOu're sure to be fine.
     
  10. TheMotion

    TheMotion New Member

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    Submissive in that it gets her off specfically to be submissive?

    Or just lazy, inhibited and lacking imagination?
     
  11. ashleymneil

    ashleymneil New Member

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    Hi friend!! I understand what you are going through. But may be you should talk it out to her itself because she is the best person to tell you what is troubling her.

    These are some of the married women affairs which each and every women goes through at some point in her life.

    Hence, I suggest you to better ask her what is the actual matter and if possible ask her the solution itself so that you both can improvise on.

    Anyways, best of luck to you both..

    Reply to me at : ashleymneil@gmail.com