Became much wiser

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Icebat, Dec 30, 2013.

  1. Icebat

    Icebat Member

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    Hello all,
    It's been a while. Most of you will probably not remember me so allow me to quickly tell what my situation was in a nutshell: I was a 30 years old male, had only had one short relationship ever in my life, had sex only once ever too and I felt very insecure and ashamed for being someone of my age who had never had a real relationship and barely knew how to get a girl let alone how to please her.
    I thought of myself as inferior, pathetic and a loser for being unable to get a woman (I know it's stupid but bear with me).

    That was me about a year ago. In the meantime, I've had a relationship that lasted for about 8 months. I have the feeling, and please forgive me for it, that I went into that relationship back then simply because I wanted to "fit in" and you know... have a relationship "like everyone has so that I'm no longer that lonely loser". I thought I was really in love, and we were happy and all, but these past few months have not gone so well and I broke up, realizing I wasn't really in love. Better be honest and stop it then right?
    To be fair, I feel much more happy with being single now. I don't mind being single. I even enjoy it. And I now really have that feeling of "the right one might come along tomorrow or in a year or in five or never, won't make me less happy, we'll see".

    However, I have to say the relationship did boost my confidence and make me much wiser. I no longer have the feeling of being that frustrated 30 year old loser who can't get a woman and that everyone feels sorry for. Instead, I have the feeling of being that guy who knows what a relationship is, who knows how to get and please a woman, but chose to be single for now and is comfortable with it.

    In a way, you can say my ex kinda saved and helped me. I feel much better now. I kinda feel at peace: I know what it is, people know I have been in a relationship so they know I'm not that weird dude who's 31 and has never gotten some. I feel more confident in lots of things I do: my sports, my hobbies and even my looks I used to be so insecure about. Not that I think I look like a God, far from that and I still am somewhat insecure, but it's not nearly as bad as it used to be.

    The only problem is that... well I'm a human and I do miss the sex sometimes. Luckily, I have a fairly low sex-drive so I'm not in a constant state of sexual need and frustration :-D but every now and then I do miss the sex a little and wish I could just... you know have some good sex with someone with no strings attached (cliché I know) and lets be honest: jacking off isn't as good :)
    Not sure how to deal with this. My ex was also kinda "traditional" when it comes to sex. We never had oral, and we only fucked in missionary and cowgirl so... I wanted to try other stuff (nothing extreme, just different like oral or other positions) but she wasn't willing to.
    I can live happily with being single, but that doesn't mean that, every once in a while, I don't want to have some satisfying sex and experiment around. It's not about tenderness and affection, it's purely about the physical lust.

    Anyways, just thought I'd let this off my chest :) You guys and girls have been very supportive back in the days.
     
  2. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

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    Easy fix; open your wallet…….walk away with a spring in your step ;)
     
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  3. Silverfox

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    Keep your options open. You never know what might happen. Success breeds confidence.
     
  4. HotForHoney

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    I thought it was cautions breed cautions?

    Either way, welcum back :)
     
  5. alwaystry

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    Lol relationships can be a pain in the ass, just go with the flow
     
  6. Adyguy

    Adyguy Member

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    Relationships fail for all sorts of reasons and when they do the experience can be rather like a bereavement with the attendant emotions. It's therefore important to allow yourself time for the healing process to take place and be patient whilst that's happening. I would say it was almost always a bad idea to rush into a new relationship as soon as a previous one's ended as you're likely to still be carrying the emotional baggage from that. New relationships can wait until you're good and ready. In the meantime I think it's important to have as wide a circle of friends as possible and keep up plenty of interests. You're bound to meet someone special sooner or later. Good luck.
     
  7. M10R19A65

    M10R19A65 Member

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    I thought it was cautions breed cautions?

    Haha, I thought the same thing. And Busch is in the wall!
     
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  8. HotForHoney

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    The big crash at talladega
     
  9. M10R19A65

    M10R19A65 Member

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