Bdsm

Discussion in 'Sexual Fetishes and Fantasies' started by Tiff576, Sep 10, 2009.

  1. Tiff576

    Tiff576 New Member

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    I want to get better knowledge wise at wat i can make my sub do. im a complete beginner and my sub has had like a lifetimes experience and i have no idea wat can be done - she's too shy to tell me straight out wen i try & find out wat she wants doing plus we're in different countires atm so the distance thing makes it a whole lot harder for me to take full control so i just need some sort of idea of wat i can make her do via cam

    Im really lost as to where the best place is to post this so any help or if someone could recommend another site where i could find some kind of guide or something if this isnt the right place - any help would be great thanks
     
  2. HardRocker

    Gold Member

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    We have a few members that post here from time to time that could probably help, but I know there are some sites that specialize in that sort of thing more. Search our threads and see what you can find.
    Anyway, welcome to SF. Hope you get some answers.
     
  3. Slowdance

    Slowdance Member

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    I'm a sub myself. A lot of what a sub can do, or will do starts in communication. What are you interested in having her do? Does she have any hard limits? Do you? how about soft limits? What interest do you share? Some conversation along these lines might help her to open up. Let her know that there is no shame in telling you. A sub that feels safe and desired can be quite a treasure. I'll dig you up some resources and talk to my Dom about other tips we could help you with. I have a few books that are fantastic. I'll look them up for you.
     
  4. polarbear79

    polarbear79 New Member

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    stupid question: isn't there supposed to be some training for Doms? can doms start out as a sub? since they have to be in control of the situation, they should first know what they're doing, right?
     
  5. HardRocker

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    First you call her question stupid, and then you back it up by asking three questions that you obviously don't have the answer to. Where do you get off calling anyone stupid when you don't even know the answers? Plus she's a first time poster.

    I agree with some of your thoughts you've posted in other threads, but this one was just over the SF line, which is basically: If you don't have anything useful or otherwise entertaining to add, keep it to yourself.

    _______________________

    EDIT: Did I misunderstand? Were you referring to your own question as stupid???
    .........My apologies if that is the case.
     
    #5 HardRocker, Oct 1, 2009
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2009
  6. Slowdance

    Slowdance Member

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    Well, some places you can go courses to be a better Dom, but unfortunately there is no required reading. Doms can start as subs, and subs can start as Doms. A person who enjoys both is called a switch. Not everyone can hack it in any role. It takes trust, knowledge and a humble nature to do it right. I could get on my soap box and tell you horror stories about "Masters" who couldn't control anything, even there own tenancies, with a leash and a rope, but that will just take forever. Long story short, maybe there should be, but most of the time its hit and miss on the training.

    There are no stupid questions. The major rules are safe, sane and consensual. You don't get there with out lots of questions.