BassDude needs encouragement...please!

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by BassDude, Sep 21, 2008.

  1. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    OK, folks...sometimes even the bravest people can be total chicken-shit. I have a really tough question to ask someone in my life...I need someone to tell me "Throw caution to the wind and just do it!". Include a story about something you've asked for where you got exactly what you wanted, if you have one.

    TIA!
    BD
     
  2. Dreama

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    Well, hubby and I had gotten to the point in our relationship where we trusted each other enough to want to sexually experiment with others. We discussed this concept at length, but agreed that if we ever did try anything, it would have to be with people that we were comfortable around and absolutely trusted. Well, we never expected that any of the people we trusted, ie, friends were into this stuff. But, two of our best friends, a newly married couple like us, were in the car with us on the way to a movie. The wife made an offhand comment about sexual experimentation. Well, hubby and I thought about it, and decided if we ever included others in our relationship, they'd be the right ones. We called them up, asked if there was any seriousness in her comment, and indeed there was. So, we all got together and discussed it, laid down some ground rules, and have been on an awesome journey together ever sense. I was so nervous when we asked them if they'd be into it, because I wasn't quite sure. But, we went for it, and things went great. In fact, everything turned out better than I had imagined. Anyway, whether this applies to you or not, the point is, go for it! Good luck, BD.
     
  3. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Shoulda known Dreama would be the first one to offer encouragement. Thanks babe!

    BD
     
  4. Dreama

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    Always welcome, love. I hope things go well, and that you can muster up the courage to do what you wanna' do.
     
  5. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Oh, and btw Dreama...if you happen to visit any swinger-related forums, they will absolutely rip you to shreds for considering sexual experimentation with close friends, so probably a good idea to avoid the main one of those (wouldn't post the url even if it was allowed). According to most folks "in the lifestyle", the only way to have "recreational sex" is to go to swinger's clubs or use online swinger sites and bang whomever you find there. I, however, approve of your choice to set boundaries and experiment with friends who have the same interests. Let us know how that goes!

    BD
     
  6. vickisam

    vickisam New Member

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    BassDude, that is not always the case. Although we do not play with any of our vanilla friends, it is because they are just that... vanilla. We have hinted and even brought up the TV show swingtown and they all say negative things, for example. That said, you can tell who the players are. So I would not be so righteous when you say all swingers do not play with friends. We know swingers from our experiences that DO play with close friends.

    As to your immediate questions about asking someone something, grow a set of balls and.... ok just kidding.

    If you ask the person something, what is the worse they can do? Kill you? I think not.

    And if you want to message the swingers site, I would love to have it. Probably a member already! :)

    V of V&S

    PS that is NOT my husband with me in the avatar. But Hubby took the picture. :)
     
  7. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Sorry, no offense intended. And btw, I am far from "righteous"...just stating a fact.

    BD
     
  8. vickisam

    vickisam New Member

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    None taken & 'nuff said! :)

    V
     
  9. suite91

    suite91 Member

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    You know what I think!

    I've never had the stones to risk it all going for the big prize. I suspect that I should have on more than one occasion. Learn from my mistakes.
     
  10. suite91

    suite91 Member

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    We are swingers who play with friends, but I would caution against trying anyone who isn't already "lifestyle" oriented. We recently learned this one first hand and are still dealing with the Drama. I'm saying this to the group, not you BD. I know you've got it all right!

    It's a fact alright!

    It's like a swinging commandment or some such sh*t.

    :lol
     
    #10 suite91, Sep 22, 2008
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2008
  11. vickisam

    vickisam New Member

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    Suite91, I think we are on the same page, maybe a sentence or two off. :)

    I do not advocate playing with friends unless you know they are in the lifestyle or have a damn good idea you will not offended them if your guess is wrong. I just tried to state that there are many swingers that do play with friends. Who has not been to a club and seen someone there they wish they had not? But remember they are there too so if they spill their guts, well they are shitting on themselves too.

    Quick story. we are at our "home" club (the one we attend the most) and we turn the corner and who do we see? Our Doctor. After we realized who it was after he said hello to us both, we just said hi, BS for a few minutes and walked on. No harm no foul!

    So you never know who is in the lifestyle but you do have to be careful. that is all I was saying, in obviously a very bad way! :)

    V

    PS Bass I did not mean to hijack your thread! Sorry!
     
  12. FlirtyChick

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    You know what I think, and I think you should just ask. There will be a yes, no, or maybe. I am behind you 100% and will do what I can for you. That is all. Just do it. You have nothing to lose, and will never know if you don't ask.
     
  13. cbrmale

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    I can think of my mistress and hearing of her girlfriend and suggesting that, perhaps, the three of us could get together one day. And I got exactly what I wanted.
     
  14. rugbylad82

    rugbylad82 New Member

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    Just did that exact thing when i talked to my SO the other day BD.... on your advice i believe.;)

    Come on man practice what you preach and make the leap.:lol
     
  15. Dreama

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    I'm not interested in going to a swinger's forum...I've often heard this, and I think that there are many different ways to go about things, and different things work for each individual. I think it's silly to condemn others for doing things their way. I think it's a much better idea (for me) to only experiment with close friends because they actually care about hubby and I and vice versa. Plus, they're into that kind of thing as much as we are. We've all discussed all the best/worst possible scenarios at length, and have agreed on all of the rules we've set for our group fun. I'm much more comfortable this way, as is everyone else in our group.
     
  16. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    He he...now there was the kick in the butt I needed! :lol Thanks Rugbylad!

    BD
     
  17. bsxy420

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    Wonder Belly i dont know what u want to do. but im sure what ever it is, there wont be any trouble with your wonderful wife! throw caution to the wind man let it go!
     
  18. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    I just did. :D What a release...
     
  19. heelfetish

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    And?

    Sorry, I should have responded to this sooner and given you the kick in the pants you were after. But now I'm curious to the outcome.
     
  20. igor

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    OK folks - maybe I am missing something (again - it wouldn't be the first time this year) but why is everyone assuming BD wants to swing?