bad Premature ejaculation problem - Please help

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Newguy, Mar 8, 2007.

  1. Newguy

    Newguy New Member

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    Hey everyone. This is my first post on this forum. I'm 25 years old, and I have a bad problem with premature ejaculation. Basically I cum in about under 10 seconds usually. I've been with the same girl for over 5 years now, and I have always been the same way. I think I can count on 2 hands the total amount of times I had full control, and was able to last as long as I wanted. I can go as long as I want the second time, but both she and I want it to last the first time, because that is the most exicting time. Also, this is not a problem during oral either. I can last forever during oral, but just not during sex.

    Believe me, I have tried many things to cure this. I'm pretty sure that it's all mental, but even still, I haven't been able to fix this problem yet in my life. I try to practice during masturbation, and even then I can last as long as I want. I've tried "the squeeze technique", but that doesn't work. I've tried thinking about other stuff, but that doesn't work. I've tried making myself completley relaxed for a while before actual intercourse - I kiss her longer, caress her body, etc. But as soon as sex time comes, I'm done in seconds. Maybe a condom would help me last longer, but we haven't used them in years, she hates them (I secretly like them though, because they make me last for a whole 30 seconds, lol). But seriously, I just get too damn horny as soon as it comes time to have sex. She takes her pants off, and I'm hard as hell, and I just bust as soon as I put it in her.

    Other things to think about. She doesn't like me to go down on her, unless it's right after she gets out of the shower. She is very self conscious about her area. I am more then willing to go down on her any time, because at it gets her off, and she loves it when I do it. She just doesn't want me to do it that much. Also, we don't have sex very often - usually about once a week or less, which kind of sucks. I think if we had sex like everyday, or at least a few times a week I might be able to last longer. Basically, I'm so excited when it comes time to actually have sex, and I'm also nervous that I'm not gonna last (because I never do).

    Basically, this is a major problem for me, and I'm too embarassed to talk to my friends about it. I don't think that she really minds as much as I do (I know she minds a little bit), because I do try my best to please her. But I definately do not satisfy her from my sex, unless she feels like waiting around for round 2, but by that time, she's usually out of the mood. Sorry about the long post, but this has really been bumming me out lately, more then usual. List night we had sex, and she got on top of me, and I came about 5 seconds after insertion. This is ridiculous. Any recommendations on what I can do? Thanks to everyone in advance.
     
  2. Funseeker

    Funseeker New Member

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  3. Newguy

    Newguy New Member

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    I did read that one already. His situation seems to be a little bit different then mine. I last like 5 seconds.
     
  4. Newguy

    Newguy New Member

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    Hey, so I've read all the posts in Mustangguy's thread, but it still seems as his situation is different then mine. He is able to go for 3 minutes at least, which is a fixable problem - you could always just slow down a little bit, wait and then go another three minutes. My situations is not so easy to work on, I last seconds, three minutes would be awsome for me. So, I guess what I'm asking, is would everyone just give me the same advice as they are giving him. Anyone understand what I'm saying here, this whole two pump then I'm done thing is pissing me off.
     
  5. zapper

    zapper Member

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    why don’t you jerk off before you fuck her
     
  6. Elvis

    Elvis Member

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    I think it's lovely Newguy, to me it means that you find her a real turn on!

    Zapper is right.
    The sure fire cure is to masturbate a short while before getting down to business, it always worked for me. If you're together for any length of time before it looks like happening, excuse yourself to the bathroom and do the deed. Then it will take a while for you to get hard when the foreplay begins.

    If it doesn't work I'll refund your money.
     
  7. Fliteskates

    Fliteskates Member

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    You need to exercise your PC muscles.

    When you take a piss can you stop the flow of urine at will?

    If not, then your PC muscles are weak and most likely a major reason why you bust too fast.

    I had a friend tell me about this when I was a teen, long before I ever had sex. So I would squeeze my PC muscles over and over, and also while masturbating practice bringing myself to almost an orgasm, then I would back off for about 5-10 seconds..stroke it again until I felt I was going to cum..then back off again. I could actually do this almost 100 times in a row before I came.

    I really wanted to have good control and wanted to be ready when I finally had sex... so I practiced all the time.

    So when I first had sex, my g/f used to complain that I would last too long (hour or more) without cumming. So there is is lasting too long and not lasting long enough.. I eventually learned how to cum whenever I felt like it - all because my PC muscles where strong.

    Also, the once a week thing doesn't help. Although I have good control, I find I only last a minute or two when I am away from my g/f for an extended period of time.

    The first time I have sex with her when we are away, I bust pretty fast. She feels amazing, and if you aren't used to that feeling, it is almost impossible not to cum.

    The PC thing you can start to work on each day... only being able to have sex once a week - not sure how you can change that if she isn't close to you.
     
  8. Newguy

    Newguy New Member

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    Well, thanks for the advice everybody. I have heard about this PC muscle thing, I did try that for a little while (maybe for about a week, I worked on it, which probably wasnt' long enough). Basically you just contract the muscle and hold it for about 10 seconds, then let go, then repeat about 20 times, right? I can stop the flow of urine at will though, so I guess going by what you said, my PC muscles aren't that weak. But even still, I will still try it again for a longer period of time.

    Also, I do practice going for a long time while I'm masturbating, and I can go as long as I want then. I also bring myself right to the point of no return and stop, then start up again. I've tried all these methods. I think maybe I just might have to work harder at it, because in all of my 5 years dating her, I have always had this PE problem, but I never really tried to do anything to fix it. Then again, in all these years we never really had sex more then once or twice a week. Maybe if we did it everyday, I would be cured also, who knows. But when I don't get to bang her for a week or more, it just feels so damn good.

    I don't think the jerking off thing before I bang her is really a cure for me. It does work, and I have done it before, but I want to be able to go much longer on the first time without having to having to do it. Spur of the moment times often happen, so I wouldn't have time to do it then. But thanks for the advice everyone, I appreciate it.
     
  9. Fliteskates

    Fliteskates Member

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    It takes a couple of months of working the PC muscles to really see a difference.. a week won't change anything.

    Not sure if you workout - but it is basically the same deal. When I want to blow up my arms or chest.. or cut up a certain muscle, it takes at least 2-3 months. You are dealing with a muscle here, so there are no shortcuts.

    If none of that works, when you slip into your g/f, think of your Grandma on the toilet.

    That should do the trick