"Bad" fantasies... what say you?

Discussion in 'Sexual Fetishes and Fantasies' started by fireweed, Aug 4, 2009.

  1. fireweed

    fireweed New Member

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    As the years have progessed, I have found myself more and more aroused by fantasies where I employ less than moral themes... things I would never do and find reprehensible in real life.

    To take a one of the milder examples, cheating.

    I have never cheated on anyone (meaning had sexual contacts without her explicit consent). I have always found such dishonesty and deception to be utterly distasteful and just wrong. For many years, that was all there was to it.

    Then I ended up in a relationship with a woman who did cheat on me. What's funny is we were in an open relationship, and she still felt the need to sneak around behind my back. Of course I would inevitably find out about it (actually most of the time she would tell me weeks or months after it happened). Yeah I know I should have left her the first time it happened, but I didn't. I'm a glutton for punishment I guess.

    Anyway. So there was this one time I knew she had cheated on me, and as usual I was unable to stop the scenes from playing out in my imagination over and over again while I experienced the resentful emotions.... all of a sudden I became *very* aroused by what was going on in my head as I visualized how it might have happened with them. I started masturbating to it, and well, that didn't last very long, but it left me kind of in a state of shock and confusion... what was going on? How could I both hate what had happened and also find it so arousing at the same time.

    Ever since then cheating has been a popular theme in my fantasies. It started with fantasizing about my partner cheating on me, but then it also progressed to me having sex with women who were cheating on their partners as well. (For some reason me cheating on my own partner has only rarely interested me.)

    I have since discovered that I have a tremendous capacity to enjoy many sexual scenarios as fantasies that if they were happening for real I would consider reprehensible. The other big example I have is domination and control to the point of rape. I had a girlfriend who admitted having rape fantasies, and after reading up on the 'net found that it's actually a common fantasy among men and women.

    My gf shared the details of one of her fantasies with me one day, and I was surprised to find out how much it turned me on, both of us. Soon rape play became a fairly regular part of our sex life, and also became a regular part of my fantasies when masturbating. I could not believe how erotic it felt to 'force' myself on a struggling 'victim'. Gf liked it so much that often she would just start spontaneously struggling during sex making me hold her down and be forceful in order to continue.

    Again, I would NEVER actually rape or cheat on anyone, but it's been an interesting journey reconciling my own appetite for these themes with my morals. I have noticed that in my 'bad' fantasies, there is always a victim (as with cheating and rape), and always the aspect of doing what you're forbidden to do is a large aspect of the appeal.

    Anyway I have some ideas about why these themes appeal to me, and I'm comfortable with myself that they do, but I'm curious about if others have had a similar experience or if anyone has thoughts to share on this topic.
     
  2. Barbwire

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    IMO there aren't any such things as bad fantasies. Thoughts are not the same things as actions.

    The things that pop into my head when I'm having sex or masturbating can be downright disturbing at times but I don't fret about them.

    Now, when I was younger, I loathed myself because of them, but as I matured I learned that letting my mind run free was nothing to be ashamed or afraid of.



     
  3. fireweed

    fireweed New Member

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    I agree completely. Bad fantasies are actually quite good!
     
  4. WIguy

    WIguy New Member

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    a fantasy is a fantasy for a reason...it might be odd for someone else, but that makes it yours