bad books with wife over not wanting sex

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by justaniceguy, May 18, 2013.

  1. justaniceguy

    justaniceguy Member

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    right the other night for the very first time my wife wanted sex which admittedly it happens about once a month, usually but this time I rejected her as I was not in the mood myself........Man, she gave me a hard time for not wanting it saying I didnt fancy her etc.........Do you think she may be selfish, because this is literally the 1st time I was not in the mood, and we have been together nearly 20 years......It annoys me as on lots of occasions Ive gone in the kitchen or wherever after haveing a good laugh etc and me instigating sex or to make love, but she wud just shrug my hands off her.........Sex usually happens once a month and on Sundays and usual boring position.....Ive talked to her about it but she just gets defensive and as she is a hard person always has the last say....Im thinking in straying tho never strayed before and yes I do love my wife other than sex........YOUR ADVICE PLEASE GUYS........please no horrible feed back...........thanks
     
  2. mrcock

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    perhaps, you both gotta visit a psychologist
     
  3. justaniceguy

    justaniceguy Member

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    mmmm, i would go to one but know my wife would not, she would just laugh in me face
     
  4. almostthere

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    You need to work on that. Thats no relationship if you ask me. If i was on the once a month schedule i would either leave or stray. Shit, if i was once a week i would stray.
    On her side, has she ever been sexual? Or more i should say. If not then you knew who you married. If so then something or someone happened.
     
  5. justaniceguy

    justaniceguy Member

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    we used to have sex at least once a week then slowly drifted and not until it has hit me making me realise how often we do it and Im thinking I want more, and more experiment.
     
  6. xeniadraven

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    You really need to sit down with her and talk it through. Theres no other way in my opinion. If you are honest with her and she is still unwilling to try then you have a problem. Me and my oh went through a similar thing after the children were born. Lots of tearful conversations later we got through it.
    Talk to her before you make any rash decisions.
     
  7. minskminx

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    Do not stray because that will cause you a lot of problems, more than now.

    You have to work towards a compromise or solution or if that cannot work make the choice between ending the relationship or just doing without.

    Sex is important but so is having a long lasting and loving relationship. However, if she does not want sex there may be a problem that she is not being honest about with you.

    You must talk with one another but not do anything hurtful or foolish.

    Good luck! :)
     
  8. 12barblues

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    Stay , or go......do not cheat. If you have always been an honest man, straying will end that, and you can never ever go back to being an " honest" husband again. You will always be a lair and a cheater. Even if it only happens once.
    Having said that, ....I understand that it's very tough to survive in a sexless marriage .... To my way of thinking you don't have a wife, you have a female roommate that is your best friend. For some people this is enough. They simply sacrifice sexual affection in the name of having a secure relationship with a person they trust and enjoy in every other way, just not physically....
    Also, in my experience , I've never heard of a person that has no sex drive, changing and becoming more sexual....so I doubt she can change. But if you love each other you must try. Just do not stray, you'll never forgive yourself.
     
  9. justaniceguy

    justaniceguy Member

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    thanks for the advice all...Much appreciated,
     
  10. xeniadraven

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    Let us know how you get on xx
     
  11. Redline1

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    Not sure how old your wife is but be patient. My wife just turned 38 and used to be just like your wife. Since she turned 38 she can't keep her hands off of me. And we have been doing some crazy dirty sex too. Give it some time if you can.