back to nothing...

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by misspsiphi, Mar 17, 2011.

  1. misspsiphi

    misspsiphi New Member

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    Really wish that i had the sex life of all you wonderful people I am married and miss sex so much told my husband how i felt and he gave me a good fuckin the other night, however i know that it is my one for the month... i wish i could say that i could have a regular sex life... and not have to whine to get it... i know he is attracted to me but i really think he is depressed but he refuses to do anything about it... grrr any ways thats just me ranting thank for listening =)
     
  2. DarkJewel

    DarkJewel New Member

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    I'll let ya know
    My sex life is good now,but the last year or so it was AWFUL.My husband was addicted to this online game and completely IGNORED me.Plus I was having depression of my own and some thyroid issues which made me not even want sex at all.I don't even think I masturbated for like 6 months!
    We finally decided to have an open relationship.At first things were really rocky and there was some jealousy,but it has gotten better...

    My lover made me feel desired and attractive again.My sex drive awoke when I was resigned to never having one again.
    My husband tries a bit harder now too,when before his only goal was to get in and out and only please himself.
    It can be stressful at times,but I'm at a point where I'm really starting to enjoy sex more then I ever have,so I'm just thankful to feel this way!

    I'm not saying you should do what I'm doing.It's totally unconventional and wouldn't work for most people.
    But hang in there.Everyone has these little bumps in the road...
     
  3. misspsiphi

    misspsiphi New Member

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    First i say thank you =)
    secondly my husband has been in an open relationship in the past and i am WAY to insecure to handle that but you must have some crazy self worth i think that is awesome!!!

    thanks again for the input i do masturbate however i never feel completely satisfied masturbating... and i hate that i think im just a hands on kind of person...
     
  4. lovn_my_bbw

    lovn_my_bbw New Member

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    i always hear people with the same issue, im not married yet and i feel like our sex life is taking hit after hit but from different reasons, i know its frustrating but lets hope for the best for all of us.
     
  5. clamUp

    clamUp Active Member

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    My wife is not the sexual type at all. She was when we first got together, but she's admitted that she did it all for me. If she was on her own, she'd go six months before she got the urge. She tells me when I want to do it, just climb on, get on with it and get off so she can get to sleep.

    Yeah. Sigh.

    She never, or rarely, refuses me, so I can't throw too big a fit. She's had guys leave her in the past because she was too frigid, and she now says she knows how important it is to keep a guy happy in that part of the relationship. Still, it'd be nice to have her occasionally initiate an evening of fun now and then.

    Otherwise, our relationship is fantastic. The non-sexual aspect of our relationship more than makes up for the lacking sex part. If I described her personality, and put pictures up, let's just say she'd make quite an impression.
     
  6. lovn_my_bbw

    lovn_my_bbw New Member

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    in what way would she make an impression? man that sucks sounds frustrating.
     
  7. clamUp

    clamUp Active Member

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    Well, she's a gamer, she's hot, and she loves building with power tools. For Christmas she wanted a band saw and Cataclysm. Doesn't get much better than that except for the whole in-bed thing.

    And no, I'm not kidding about the band saw.
     
  8. Hot Wheels

    Gold Member

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    There's nothing more frustrating than trying to help somebody who doesn't want to help themselves.....:ugh
     
  9. CruelTease

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    Tell him how you feel, tell him you're not satisfied.

    Tell him if your happiness is so unimportant that he won't even go to the doctor, maybe he isn't the kind of man you want to be with anymore.

    Just an idea, in no way am I suggesting you leave him.
     
  10. GreyGoose

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    I know the feeling all to well
     
  11. Trond

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    I also hate it when I have to initiate all the time, but in my case, she NORMALLY refuses me, so count your blessings :eyes. It's mostly because she often feels it is physically painful to her, so I don't really blame her for being that way, but it is extremely frustrating.

    This is the thread about the whole situation:http://www.sexualforums.com/30088-never-a-normal-sex-life.html
     
  12. backcheck64

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    Was he always like that or just recently? How was the sex before the marriage, that is often an indicator of whats to come. Did he initiate it before or did he just accomodate? Before marriage it was about 50/50 for us, but 6 to 9 times a week for the 5 yrs of dating. It dropped marginally, 5 to 7 times a week about 9 yrs in and held steady till kids at 14yrs in. The demands of the kids did cut it down to about 2 to 5 times a week. We are still at that level between work, kids activities (I'm usually at the ice rink to 11pm at least twice a week with one of them) but we do take a weeks vacation without the kids and that is usually a fuckfest at 28 yrs in. Have you talked to him about leaving the marriage if he doesn't seek help? It may be the club over the head he needs.

    And sorry DW, I'll never understand any guy that would rather play a fucking video game than have sex. Makes no sense to me whatsoever. I find video games a waste of time personally.

    And Clam, while my wife isn't into power tools, when the schedule permitted (kids were young) she made sure our season tickets for the Blues were renewed, if hockey is on anywhere on the sat, it's on...almost that bad about football. And she usually would like sports or exercise equipment for Xmas or birthdays. BUT she has a ton of lingerie and loves to wear it...and with all of the exercise...I absolutely love to see her in it...I can be totally into a movie or work, if she walks into the living room on one of those numbers...TVs off, computers closed, calculator is on the table and a third of the time we don't make it back to the bedroom. While loving her sports, both participating and spectating, she does love to primp and preen and is always dressed to the teeth. Even the underwear has to match her work out clothes, and the top has to match the bottoms of her workoutfits and yoga clothes. I can't remember the last time I saw her a "mess".....which definately keeps my fire burning even hotter.
     
  13. clamUp

    clamUp Active Member

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    Yeah, I've talked to a couple of her ex's. I know she's warmed up considerably to me from those relationships. Trust me, I'm not complaining (much). ;)
     
  14. Alwayslearningsex

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    You tried to get him going, like oral or hand, then you have more sex?
    On second thought I wonder if this would lead to get it done, nothing else. Not knowing your man but if sex is not that important for him ....
    Getting help maybe - depression? thyroid? unhappy about things?
    If he says something hard to hear time to take it in and think about it before talking again. I wish you the best.
     
  15. Untamed

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    I wish I could help and this all sounds so frustrating to deal with. Maybe a sexy dance in sexy lingerie to get him going?
     
  16. misspsiphi

    misspsiphi New Member

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    I love giving him Oral i do it regularly however i rarely get reciprocation, however i dont ask and dont always want it i love pleasing him... its really complicated

    I must say thought I really LOVE having this online community to talk to =) you guys are wonderful!
     
  17. cheeze

    cheeze New Member

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    damn this sucks. yall should see a therapist
     
  18. misspsiphi

    misspsiphi New Member

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    I have thought of that for a while... i think that might be the answer...
     
  19. cheeze

    cheeze New Member

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    yeah stay on that. If his problem really is depression then his health could be at risk. But even more important you have to look at the longterm strain this will put on your marriage.

    He may not want to see someone for fear of being judged, just assure him that you want this because you love him and the relationship is important to you. Tell him it would just be between both of you and ask him to keep an open mind and do this one little thing for the both of you.

    But yeah definately see someone if its depression dont ignore it, because that can have serious consequences long term
     
  20. lovn_my_bbw

    lovn_my_bbw New Member

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    is he being stubborn at times or just not caring?