baby mother drama

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by embony, May 20, 2004.

  1. embony

    embony New Member

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    well its like this, i seeing this boi i met a while ago, we have AWESOME sex everything is great, but i want him to be my boyfriend and see each other on a regualar bases but he said he doesnt have tim for a realationship. him and his previous girlfriend has got a six month baby together, and there were together for 4 years. how do i make him all mine or do u guys think that him and his ex r still together? :drool
     
  2. Frank Grimes

    Frank Grimes New Member

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    Run

    You have two options, I think. One is to continue to have the awesome sex with him, but if you do, DO NOT get emotionally attached to him. Let the relationship be solely a physical one, and use protection. The odds are too great that he still has feelings for or is in a relationship with his ex.

    Your other option, quite simply, is to leave the relationship. That's what I would do.... :ugh
     
  3. Logger

    Gold Member

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    Dear Ambony,

    Frank Grimes has described your options fairly well.

    The additonal issue I would bring up for your consideration, is Euphoria.

    Love has two manifestations. One is euphoria, and the other is Agape. Agape is the love of married couples who are together for the long term, and have earned each other's trust. The love of trustworthiness is often not euphoric, but occasionally cylces into euporia for some longer or shorter periods of time.

    What type of love are you looking for? Your boi sounds a little confused. Your boi wants to have euphoria with you, but realizes an obligation to the mother of his 6 month old child. You have not mentioned how much it is going to cost for a University education for the youngster.

    If you are getting intimate with someone, I suggest you might also look into factors of trustworthiness. Marriagbuilders. com has several sections on infidelity, where both women and men post their disappointments and difficulties with unfaithful spouses. MB posters would call your boi a cake eater. One who wants both the euphoria of a newly encountered jazzy lady, and the benefits of fatherhood.

    One question is how much money does he have? If he can afford two families, that may be an option for you. How many children would you like to have? Would public school be satisfactory to you? to them?

    One of the considerations suggested in MB, is to think of how your children will think of your decisions, once they have grown up? Do you want to explain that you decided to stay with this guy, who is apparently a philanderer, or do want to hold for for a fellow who is more trustworthy? Have you turned away a look from a guy who you felt might not have been exciting enough for you? If you marry your boi, is it OK if he is out looking for euphoria whenever things get less exciting at home? What are your plans to keep your boi excited at home? I think of my wife as the star of my sex show, and I watch porno videos with her, as she takes up various nude reposes.

    Gotta run get the show set up. Starts may about 1 AM when she is drowsy. Wish my wife were more an active participant in the sex show. Oh well.

    You don't mention any concepts of how you and your boi match up. Tehre are many was to evelauate compatability. I use whatever i have handy that seems that it might be helpful. Astorlogy, MB Needs Asssesment. Compatability tests, views of parents or othe relatives, limitless options really. Euphoria may be the most popular test of compatability, but it may not be the best predicter of success in long term relationships.

    Blessings
     
  4. embony

    embony New Member

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    thanx, i thought as much