So hopping into bed for the night with my wife, I usually give my wife a little caressing, and I often don't really know if she is up for more. Sometimes I will put my rod in her hand, and then see how much interest she displays. Sometimes I will ask for a humm job. Sometimes I wil apply baby oil, or Body Oil, to my rod to let her give me a better hand job. Somtimes I will pull off her underwear and put my rod near her back, so she can move her hips. Someitmes I will put her foot on my rod. Basically, I try to give her dominion over my rod, so she can let me know what mood she is in. A few times lately, I have been tired, and sensed she was not interested, and just went to sleep without making it clear that she was in charge of my erection. If I am soft, it is still here option to make it hard. If my wife is in the mood, I am most always ready. i just need to find ways for her to let me know.