Assessing Wife's Mood

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Logger, Jun 17, 2007.

  1. Logger

    Gold Member

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    So hopping into bed for the night with my wife, I usually give my wife a little caressing, and I often don't really know if she is up for more. Sometimes I will put my rod in her hand, and then see how much interest she displays.

    Sometimes I will ask for a humm job. Sometimes I wil apply baby oil, or Body Oil, to my rod to let her give me a better hand job. Somtimes I will pull off her underwear and put my rod near her back, so she can move her hips. Someitmes I will put her foot on my rod.

    Basically, I try to give her dominion over my rod, so she can let me know what mood she is in.

    A few times lately, I have been tired, and sensed she was not interested, and just went to sleep without making it clear that she was in charge of my erection. If I am soft, it is still here option to make it hard. If my wife is in the mood, I am most always ready. i just need to find ways for her to let me know.
     
  2. oscitate

    oscitate New Member

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    So, I'm not too old, I don't have a wife or anything, but in my opinion, I think that your method may be a little too aggressive. I know that it seems like a real passive thing to do to give her the option of going at it and having fun, but the signals that you are sending out may just seem to be horny guy signals (which can become annoying).

    Even though I haven't been in my long term relationship as much as most people remain in their marriages, there have been times when I feel that she may not be up for it for a while. The best thing to do is to have an open and host discussion about the way you feel as well as about the way she feels. This may be favorable to her in regards to finding out what kind of a mood she's in, rather than using a signal that you interpret as clear but she does not.

    Hope things work out in the end and let us know what's going on.
     
  3. Steel

    Steel Member

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    Anyone I've ever been with would have given me a good shot in the apple bag if I did that stuff!
     
  4. pirouette

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    Hang in there Logger. Curious, do you say anything to her when you do these things? Or are you just waiting for her response in the form of body language?
     
  5. Logger

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    Thanks for the Responses;

    Oscitate: My wife is a Scorpio and not into verbalizing her desires. Last night I sucked her nipples, pulled off her panties, and massaged her pubic mound. Then I got my lubes, and put my softy in her hand. She squeezed, pulsing maybe every 15 to 30 seconds. Then I joined my fingers with her hand and worked out two palms, and got fully erect. Then it was into some dry humping positons. I let my load go as I was commanding my wife to get wet. I could feel her gushing. I was envisioning her pussy loving my tip in our dry hump.

    My strategy may not work for other Star signs, or for dating circumstances. I just was feeling that being tired, and going to sleep without trying, was maybe passing things up. Once I become stimulated, I am not tired anymore. I can sleep LATER.
     
  6. Logger

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    Dear Steel,

    Ever read ACCUPRESSURE POINTS FOR LOVERS? How do you handle rejection? I get rejected frequently by my wife, but I just stop, and start reviewing the pages of the ACCUPRESSURE book, in my mind, and select a new spot to start again, in some 7 minutes.

    I envision the Endorphins flowing frm the muscles I was caressing, when I got rejected. I view a rejection as time to let he Endorphins raise my wife's level of Excitement.
     
  7. Logger

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    Dear Pirouette,

    Maybe I should say more than I do. I may say, "Nice Teats" or "I love to shave your pussy".

    Mostly my wife likes to watch soap opeas on TV. She has some bedtime pillow headphones, and does not really seem interested in what I might have to say. Sometimes I want to talk to her, and I ask her to turn off the TV. Mostly I just massage and stimulate her while she is watching/listening to the soaps.

    I think my wife is a little unique, so I really don't recommend that guys who feel under-loved to move the TV into their bedroom and rent some Soap Opera DVD's.

    Usually 2 or 3 times in a successful night, my wife will have pushed me away and/or told me she wants to go to sleep. Sometimes she just pushes me away. She pushes lightly, and I move away at the first hint of her pushing me away, or pushing with her legs, or turning to a different position in the bed. I just watch the clock for 3 minutes to pass, envison the Endorphins streaming from ghe muscle groups of my last massage areas, and plan a new point of massage.
     
  8. Martin_Baker

    Martin_Baker New Member

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    Logger, I've never been married and certainly can't claim to be any sort of relationship counsellor but I've heard worse relationships getting lots more sex.

    My only point is....... are you two really that switched onto each other and are you both REALLY married to each other for happiness?

    Because what you describe seems, to me, to be a couple who still aren't really totally comfortable with each other.

    I don't know, but can you both look at each other and say you're totally and completely happy with each other? I have little experience in long term relationships and I really mean NO offence by my post but it is strange that your wife (if I read your post correctly) seems to need continual stimulation to be interested in having sex.

    I understand everyone has a different sex drive, BUT, I have this idea of a married couple not being able to keep their hands off each other?

    IF this doesn't happen before the kids arrive then (in my opinion) why get married in the first place?

    Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic who only believes in Utopia? OR maybe I am not interested in being in a relationship where I "feel under-loved" (to use your words).

    I'm just a person who questions peoples' motives for getting married. I don't think it's all it's cracked up to be, but I get to ask that because I've never been there and I have no money tied up in a marriage.
     
  9. Nettle

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    Logger... you do this every night??

    Give the poor woman a break, she keeps saying no and you just keep trying... I would feel very pressured, and pressure is a turn OFF.
     
  10. Logger

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    Dear Martin Baker,

    That would be nice if all women were in the mood al the time.

    Dear Nettle,

    Because I recognize that my wife is sometimes not in the mood for Love, I am attemtping to find ways to assess her mood. Seeing what she does when I invite her to handl emy weenie, is one way I have found to better guess what my wife is thinking.

    I found another SF thread on assesing a woman's state of arousal:
    http://www.sexualforums.com/talk/showthread.php?t=6867&highlight=morning

    .
     
  11. Stormy

    Stormy New Member

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    I read your posts as "I don't take no for an answer". The ex was like that. He'd turn nasty too if I didn't accomodate. The last couple of years of the marriage, he could have been fucking a mannequin for all I cared or got out of it. I put out to just keep the peace.

    Give your wife a break and treat her like the intelligent woman she is. Talk to her about this. And get rid of the headphones! What's up with that?
     
  12. Plums

    Plums New Member

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    quite simple for me, if my mrs wants a bit, she'll get naked into bed (ok, she usually does this anyways), if she's up for anything at all, she'll cuddle right into me, spoons style, and shove her ass against my ol' boy and the twins. i'm pretty much guaranteed some fun then. otherwise she'll cuddle up facing me, depends what she does then, as to whether i / we take it further,

    alot depends on what you want from sex, for me, if she's not 100% into it, then thats no good for me, sometimes she'll do it just for me, a quickie, to make me happy, but it just leaves a bit of disappointment that i didn't pleasure her (though she says it does, and it might, says she doesn't always need to cum)

    sometimes i just know she's not in the mood, sometimes it'll take ten mins of foreplay to figure this for sure, if she's not in the mood, then so be it, why try and change that ? if they don't want it, they don;t want it, simple, so don't force her hand (no pun intended there), let it go, and don't turn over having a sulk !
     
  13. ckjacobus

    ckjacobus New Member

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    yeah my woman would definately need more subtle suggestions for sex like back rubs, etc. She would only take it in the ways that you said you were trying to give it to her if she was so horny that she couldn't handle it
     
  14. angel_n_sneye

    angel_n_sneye Member

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    Just make her a sign with "In the Mood" on one side and "Not in the Mood" on the other ... haha ...

    Sometimes I don't know I am in "the mood" until I feel his kisses on my neck or down the small of my back ... actually I pretty much in the mood unless we stay up too late after a long day and even then a few kisses will get me rolling.

    Later ~~~ Angel ~~~
     
  15. easysqueez

    easysqueez New Member

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    Have you tried pleasuring her. If you go down on her then maybe you can arouse her and get her in the mood.