[Ask a Guy] Ask guy/girl: FMF for the (straight) curious.

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by MordsithLove, Jul 24, 2012.

  1. MordsithLove

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    ASK GUY/GIRL:

    I should ask him myself. But thought to get an outsiders input.

    My SO has jokingly asked of FMF, most likely out of curiosity because the jokes keep coming as if he's looking for an answer. Obviously he thinks of it nonetheless, but is he serious? Weve been together for 8 yrs, he cheated on me 7 yrs ago (letting it go, but has built some insecurities for me to get over). At times I just dont feel sexy, I KNOW I can look better, I just dont have the drive to be it. Working out at the gym and taking the extra time in my image is tiring, but I would love to feel and look good. So basically its a hair bun, tshirt and jeans type of look for me lol

    I am not bi, nor do I have any sexual desire for a female. I cant really see any joy out of touching another gals snatch. BUT I do enjoy the thought of making out/fondling a very attractive gal. If a FMF were to occur, I feel I might be insecure. Things like "What if he likes her more in bed than me? He could fall out of love and our relationship is crumbled. Would he fantasize more of her than me?" and it keeps coming with more what if's. Of course, my SO and I need to be on a serious talk on the matter to for me to fully understand each others idea of the matter. And to answer now, I dont think he would even think of MFM...and i dont think I can really occupy two guys.

    I think I would be ok with FMF if
    -She takes care of her self, testing/protection etc.
    -More fem than boyish. I am really attracted to a gorgeous gal, one who most likely cares for her image (unlike myself...i am working on it lol)
    -Can understand my insecurities too.

    Guys:
    In your FMF experience with your SO, did it ever change the way you felt for her (SO) wither it be a positive/negative change?
    Do you fantasize of the other gal more than your SO?

    Girls:
    Have or had insecurities like mine? Not bi but have the same attraction as I do?
    How did you get comfortable of the idea of FMF? i.e. Seeing anothe naked girl in the bed with you and your SO?
    How did FMF affect your feelings for your SO? Negative or positive?



    Any other tips or experiences in FMF with your SO please share. I am looking into the idea of it, but have no clue how to judge or go about it.

    Mord'sithLove
     
  2. CaptHammer

    CaptHammer Member

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    I did have FMF and it didn't change my opinion of her, but I'll be honest I didn't have a high opinion of her (the relationship was on the way out). However, the woman I am with brought it up and we decided we wouldn't. We don't know if it would change us, but we don't want to take the risk. Think about it for a while, don't rush.
     
  3. stephen

    stephen Member

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    what about a mfm for you? If he cheated on you before and you feel insecure to be honest why bring more of it to you. I am having a mfm soft with my wife in a month or so and she didnt like the idea of ffm and wasnt into the mfm until i suggested having a soft one. Ive never had a mfm but she did before we met and it was a shitty one for her, she rode both guys(one of them she really liked from dating it was his idea) and sucked on both of them while she was riding the other. No touching, sucking, fingering, nothing was done in return to her. She had this mfm and was the only one she has been in. My point is I asked her for one since I never have done one and im cool with my close friend and trust him completely so I want this for her as much as I do for me. No male on male just two guys pleasing a women who should have been taken care of the first time she agreed to a threesome. If I was insecure about doing this(thought a long time before I brought it up to my wife, then our male friend) I would not be writting this now. I think it should only be right for you to lever the playing field and treat yourself to a mfm or even fmfm or whatever makes you wet not him. But thats my opinion. Hope this helps
     
  4. 12barblues

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    Adding a 3rd person to your sex life is absolutely, positively not, and I say NOT, what you need to be doing right now. After reading your post you are absolutely not ready for that. You have way to many insecurities, both about yourself and about your relationship....do not do it. It's that simple. It will ruin your relationship. My gf and I are rock solid....I'm pretty sure god himself couldn't come down and steal my girl from me, lol.....and she's that confident in my love for her as well...
    We have talked about doing it for years and have laid down extensive rules for what would be allowed.....yet we haven't done it yet... Why?.... Because once its done it can never be " undone" .....I know of several relationships that have ended because of the jealousy and insecurity that followed a 3 some....
    I also know many that survived just fine....but they were ready....it doesn't seem like you are , so dont rush into it just to please your partner...and if he truly is the man for you, and loves you, he wouldn't want you to do something you're not ready for anyway....best of luck...
     
  5. MordsithLove

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    I dont think he or I would enjoy MFM. I personally dont think I could handle two men at once. A couples date and night out was an idea I had also.

    12BB:
    I see where you are coming from. I was just thinking of the idea of it before I even bring it up to him. Indeed I have insecurities to recover and leave behind. Just being together for so long after awhile it seems like nothing is thrilling anymore, its just love making sex, feels great, but its the same. Note to add; my SO is only the 2nd guy Ive been with, let alone dated. So knowing he cheated in the past hurts me cause I wish I couldve had my cake and eat it too. There's been times where I wish I were single just to have that freedom and explore.

    the whole 3some idea is in mind for a possiblity..definitely waiting to do it, but would like a good idea of what exactly I am in for.
     
  6. 12barblues

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    Have you given much thought to trying same room sex with another couple? Might liven things up without actually trading partners....bt again , take ur time about it...
     
  7. MordsithLove

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    I actually feel more comfortable with the idea of a couples retreat lol The mister and I dont get out much, i hardly have any friends really...and we always hang out with his.

    taking our time is a definite. Even if we were to do a couples thing, we still need to find a couple we are both comfortable with.

    As I am getting older, I feel myself falling more into a "womanhood" more mature about myself and the way I think. Im lurking here in the search engine for ideas to play with just he and I....but now thinking more of other possibilities for the far future.

    BTW thanks 12BB for your advice!
     
  8. CaptHammer

    CaptHammer Member

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    I couldn't agree with you more. The undone part is absolutely true.