As a father of teenagers

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by johnnyangel694u, Mar 17, 2007.

  1. johnnyangel694u

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    Man this is a tough one for me. It was bad enough when I went through it and to watch my kids is even worse. Two weeks ago I found out my 17 yo daughters boyfriend broke up with her. We talked, as much as a teenager will take to her father. Gave her hug and told all the usual garbage. This week I found out that my 19 yo daughter and her boyfriend broke up after 2 1/2 years. She is at college. I can't give her a hug and tell her the usual garbage. I IM with her and talk on phone. I can't tell how she is doing. It is tough on me not being able to see her and be a good dad. I would rather go through it myself instead of having to see my kids go through it. Oh yes, the thrills of being a father to teenagers.

    thanks for listening.
     
  2. Barbwire

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    I don't really know what advice to give you about your teenaged daughters, as I don't have one of my own. What I can say is, I think it's sweet how you care so much for them, and are worried about them. You are a good dad, Johnny, hugs to you, hon. :)
     
  3. Dreama

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    As a teenaged daughter, I must say that I admire your kindness. My parents, though great people, aren't there for me nearly as much as I would like them to be. I can't blame them, as they have two other teenaged children,and I'm the oldest. They have their hands full, I guess. But, I think your daughters are very lucky to have you!
     
  4. SexyScorp

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    Sweet Johnny...

    Lucky kids!
     
  5. cbrmale

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    I am a father to teenagers, but so far no serious relationship break-ups. Actually I like having teenagers, my 15 and 17 year old are very adult and it is great to be able to talk and act as adults with them. It is a fascinating transition.

    Unlike the US, Australian University education is done locally, so they will be living at home while studying and won't be moving out until they graduate and get a job. So we will be here for them until they are around 21 or so.
     
  6. Dreama

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    Wow. I'm kind of glad that I got to go away for school. I think it really helped me become more independant. I'm a second semester freshman, and I'm loving being away from home.
     
  7. cbrmale

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    I understand Dreama, but it doesn't work like that here. What we have offered our children as a compromise is sexual freedom. Once they reach legal age (16), they are welcome to have a partner to stay and sleep the night. Two rules, their partner must be legal (don't want irate parents involved) and they must not disrupt the house. They will be young adults, and it is appropriate they be treated as young adults.

    The other thing is the house is zoned, and 'their' zone is quite separate from 'our' zone, so they are free to come and go as they wish.

    I hope this works for them, it is a reasonable compromise in my view. They get to stay at home, but with freedom.
     
  8. smallpackage

    smallpackage New Member

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    You seem like a great dad. I admire the fact that you acknowledge their pain and want to make it better...that puts you way ahead of most dads!
     
  9. Jayce

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    It's rare to see someone care as much as you expressed here. It's a good quality.

    So, essentially within a few weeks span both daughters' boyfriends dumped them?

    If that's the case, I'd try to plan a day where it's just you and your 2 girls. Go out and do something. A movie perhaps? I know she's at college, it's not like you gotta drill her to come home tomorrow. Maybe in the next month she has a free weekend to come home and spend some time with dad and sis?
     
  10. Dreama

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    So, you are saying that inexchange for having your children stay at home, you offered them freedom from within the house? Or is it just normal that kids stay home where you are from? I think that is a cool notion, in a way. I mean, I think it would work for some people, and if my parents had offerend that, I'm not sure I would have taken it. On one hand, it would be really cool, but on the other, I can have whatever partner I want here, at college too. And, my parents already have my fiance over at my house with me to stay the night, when I'm home. I mean, it is really cool. It would be nice to be with my parents and all, but I don't think I would be the same if I had stayed at home.
     
  11. johnnyangel694u

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    She is coming home next week for spring break. I am trying to get off work on Sat. to go camping with the whole family. I hope it works out.
    I just found out today that they were split for a few day at christmas break and we were the only ones that didn't know about it. Now that really hurts me. Now after i give her a big hug i am going to have to slap the little bitch around a little bit.:lol
     
  12. johnnyangel694u

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    This is my daughters away message:

    " And I lie to myself, and say it's for the best

    We're moving forward but holding ourselves back, and we're waiting on something that'll never come..."