Apparently... too much sex in your relationship means it is not strong enough...

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Black_Magic83, Jan 4, 2012.

  1. Black_Magic83

    Black_Magic83 Member

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    ....as stated by a colleague at work.

    I dont know how we got to talk about sex....

    I just asked the guys ( I am the only female there.. it is a computer supplie company)

    One guy said "I only have sex about 4 times a month" I piped up "Oh my god, if I had sex once a week, I would kill myself! That is not enough!" He is 35, no children, been with his partner for 12 years.

    They asked me how often I do it, I said about 8 times a week.. they were all shocked!

    The 35 year old also said, the longer you have been together, the less you want it??

    I think he is conditioned to the point that he feels that because he is not having alot of sex, he believes it is not the be all and end all of the relationship.

    The was another colleague, 21, been with his gf for 3 years, they live together, he said it only happeneds 3 times a week for him!! Again, no kids.

    What do you think?
     
  2. Black_Magic83

    Black_Magic83 Member

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    By the way, I have been with my partner for 3 years.
     
  3. RideNaked2

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    T and I have been together 10+ years. During those years we have had sex as little as once a month to several times a week. It has just all depended on what is going on in our lives at the time. At this point our relationship is stronger and better than it has been in the past years and I believe that we enjoy our sex life much more.
     
  4. 33stack

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    I think once a week with no kids is a little low,I'm 56, been with my wife for 20 years, and have a 12 and 15 year old at home and we r about once a week. There are times though where 3-4 weeks may pass without it due to verying circumstances. The first 3 years we were without kids (and I was 36-39 years old) and we were 7-12 or 13 times per week.
     
  5. Dragon_Fire

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    I think too much sex means the TV's on the blink and the Internet's down. Otherwise it has no relevence in whether the relationship is strong or not.
     
  6. Meee

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    The conversation you're talking about doesn't seem to have anything to do with too much sex meaning your relationship isn't strong. Neither of the men said that. I think you're hearing something in the conversation that wasn't really there.

    What I've been hearing in some of your threads is that you have some concern about the fact that you like to have a lot of sex. You even label it "too much" sex, not just "a lot" of sex. You keep suspecting that there's something wrong with wanting a lot of sex, or that there's something wrong with you because you have a high sex drive. This message that you got from that conversation looks like another example of that.
     
  7. backcheck64

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    Hey babe, nice chicken...

    Now back on topic. the frequency of sex is only a detriment if one wants it more than the other.

    I'm 47, she's 46, two kids 14 and 13, married 24yrs..together 29 and we still do it 2 to 3 times a week...would be more but the kids are on a travel hockey team, travel lacrosse team, daughters in orchestra, etc, so we are always running. Now on the vacations without kids, it's 5 to 7 times in that week. Sex lives get lax or boring only if you let them. We stay fit and active which helps keep us more sexually active and attracted to eachother.
     
  8. cbrmale

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    It's good to have sex about 8 times a week, but as the years and decades pass it would be a challenge to keep sex, at that frequency, fresh and invigorating. We typically have sex about 3 times a week and more on holidays, and that has been fairly constant over the past 20 years or so since we had children (who are now grown up and totally independant). I can remember sex every day on our honeymoon, but once we settled down together the natural rhythm for us is every second day or so.

    If my wife were more sexually pro-active the story might be different, but she isn't. On the other hand, good sex 3 or more times per week is quite good compared to many, and particularly when we had younger children, although raising normal, healthy children isn't a 24 hour a day chore. With younger children you can always find the energy and time if you want to find the energy and time, but if you don't want to find the time, or your partner doesn't want to find the time, then sex won't happen.
     
  9. octavius

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    Everybody has different libidos. Having fantastic sex once a week may be very satisfying for a lot of people. I think it only becomes a problem when there is a libido mismatch.
     
  10. RawDog

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    Been married 6 years and the sex has been getting better as the relationship's gotten better as the sex has gotten better. I believe it's a perpetual cycle that either feeds or starves itself.

    While I'm at it, one of my biggest pet peeves when people talk aboiut sex frequency is the lack of any time component. If we had sex for 5 minutes 8 times a week, is that more sex than 4 times for 2-1/2 hours each?
     
    #10 RawDog, Jan 10, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2012