[Ask a Girl] Any or all of these - true/false?

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by 10_3XL, Aug 14, 2015.

  1. 10_3XL

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2014
    Messages:
    8,236
    Likes Received:
    9,544
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Idaho, USA
    I'm curious to get feedback on this from the women here. The main bullet points of the article are below. For further elaboration and explanation you'll have to actually read the article. (I know -- I'm asking a lot. :p)

    Original article link: http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/09/lies-to-stop-teaching-girls/

    17 Lies We Need to Stop Teaching Girls About Sex:

    1. Virginity Exists
    2. Hymens Are a Sign of Virginity
    3. All Women Are Born with Vaginas
    4. The First Time Is Going to Hurt — A Lot!!!
    5. If Someone Buys You Something, You Owe Them Sex
    6. Too Much Sex Will Stretch You Out
    7. Women Don’t Think About Sex Very Much
    8. Women Don’t Like Casual Sex
    9. Boys Buy the Condoms
    10. "Frigid" Wives Make Cheating Husbands
    11. You Have to Wax
    12. You Can’t Have Sex on Your Period
    13. Sex Is Supposed to Hurt Sometimes
    14. Once You Start Having Sex, You’re Not Allowed to Say ‘Stop’
    15. Women Don’t Watch Porn
    16. Sexual Harassment Is Normal
    17. Everybody’s Doing It
    How many of these are things you were told, heard, or were taught? Do you agree that these are things that shouldn't be considered true and taught to girls? Which, if any, of these are totally off-base?

    I'm genuinely curious.
     
  2. lucky5338

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2014
    Messages:
    6,166
    Likes Received:
    9,263
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Scotland
    Interesting :)
     
  3. 10_3XL

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2014
    Messages:
    8,236
    Likes Received:
    9,544
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Idaho, USA
    I thought so, too. Lots of those things on the list seem (to me) like they're clearly outdated/untrue/ridiculous -- so I'm wondering how prevalent they still are for women in the Modern World vs Back in the Day. Thus the whole reason I'm hoping to get our women members here to provide me with some insight. :)
     
    ginger likes this.
  4. MariaMaria

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2015
    Messages:
    4,268
    Likes Received:
    5,212
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    I'd say I was taught all of them. Now, it's not like people actually said them to me, they were implied in people's behaviors/what I watched on TV/etc. I agree that they shouldn't be taught, and I think that comes with changing sexist attitudes in general. I hope there's a "17 things we need to stop teaching boys" list, 'cause that's also part of the equation. If there isn't, maybe we can come up with it :)
     
    10_3XL, ginger and danrb007 like this.
  5. xtacy4

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2015
    Messages:
    3,137
    Likes Received:
    18,838
    Gender:
    Female
    WOW. I grew up pretty conservative, but was not taught any of those. Thank goodness. Those are terrible, girls should be talked to about why each of those are wrong! I'm cringing reading those, so sad that some women believe those to be truths.
     
    #5 xtacy4, Aug 14, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2015
    10_3XL and whybother like this.
  6. Mittimer

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,509
    Likes Received:
    4,409
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Fl
    No...just no.
     
  7. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    6,963
    Likes Received:
    5,072
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    'Stralia Mate!
    Well number 3 has got to be right!
    Well on consideration some might actually start out with a dick ;)
     
  8. 10_3XL

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2014
    Messages:
    8,236
    Likes Received:
    9,544
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Idaho, USA
    I'm curious what you mean? Would you be good enough to elaborate?
     
  9. 10_3XL

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2014
    Messages:
    8,236
    Likes Received:
    9,544
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Idaho, USA
    I'd definitely like to see a "17 Things We Need To Stop Teaching Boys" list. Anything to help change the current social/sexual culture that is a little bit more misogynistic and "rapey" than I care for.
     
    MariaMaria likes this.
  10. Ra1nb0wUnderwear

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2012
    Messages:
    486
    Likes Received:
    1,047
    Gender:
    Female


    I'm only commenting on ones that spike interest to me.

    1. Virginity Exists

    I was definitely taught this. I grew up in a very Christian household. To be honest, my parents are still under the impression that I've never kissed anyone, let alone anything further. They would be disappointed and upset, even though I'm clearly an adult.

    2. Hymens Are a Sign of Virginity


    I ripped mine at a very young age by falling backwards off a chair. This was never something I heard from an adult in my life, though I'd heard it from kids at school. I knew otherwise though.

    4. The First Time is Going to Hurt-- A lot!

    It's something I heard, at school. It's not something I experienced during my first time. I felt no pain, and my first time was honestly enjoyable for both parties.

    5. If Someone Buys You Something, You Owe Them Sex

    My mom was always adamant that you don't owe anyone anything, unless you promised otherwise. Obviously, when she said things like this, it wasn't sexual in nature but an overall belief.

    6. Too Much Sex Will Stretch You Out

    Again, heard at school, but knew better than to believe it true.

    7 and 8. Women Don't Think About Sex Much and Women Don't Like Casual Sex

    In daily experience, the majority of women I know aren't very vocal about their sex drives. I've had plenty of friends complain that the guy wanted sex too much, etc. I've also had plenty of friends comment negatively on my decisions to partake in casual sex. There's been a lot of unwanted advice thrown my way, particularly things like "He's only using you for sex!" What they don't seem to understand is that we're mutually using each other-- and that's okay.

    10. Frigid Wives Make Cheating Husbands

    I'll probably spark some debate with this, but I actually can see some truth here. I don't agree with cheating in any capacity, but I do see the connection. I think plenty of people marry despite marked differences in sex drives, thinking they'll sort themselves out over time. In reality, problems are likely to worsen over time. I don't agree that it's the wife's fault, but I do think it's human nature to believe things are always better on the other side of the fence. If one partner isn't satisfied at home, their eyes (and bodies) may start to wander. Again, I think it's a better idea to just call it quits and move on... but I digress.

    11. You Have to Wax

    When I was younger, I definitely felt embarrassed about body hair, even in non-sexual situations. By my late teens (before I was sexually active), I got over this and decided no one would tell me what to do with my own body. That being said, I recognize that people have preferences and often times will just go with it because it isn't something that's terribly important to me.

    12. You Can't Have Sex on Your Period

    I've definitely been told this. And honestly, I wouldn't have sex while on my period unless it was with a long-standing partner and he was okay with it. I'm not offended if he isn't.

    14. Once You Start, You Can't Say Stop

    It was actually made very clear to me that the opposite of this is true. During a sexual situation, I did have one guy try to rape me after I said no. He tried telling me that I had already agreed to it because I came to the room with him. Thankfully I was physically able to get him off me and he then got the point.

    16. Sexual Harassment Is Normal

    I've seen this in workplace situations more often than I'd like to admit. I've had upper management make comments like "Oh, he was only kidding." It's frustrating-- and it does need to change. If someone is bothered by advances, comments, gestures, whatever... they need to stop. Period.
     
    10_3XL and Amature like this.
  11. 10_3XL

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2014
    Messages:
    8,236
    Likes Received:
    9,544
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Idaho, USA
    Thank you so much for taking time to read and respond! It's interesting to see what/how much different women have been told.

    And as MariaMaria put in her earlier response, I'm interested in a list of these things applied to Boys/Men. I can think of plenty of things that I was taught/told/believed -- but I wonder at how universal they are...
     
  12. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    6,963
    Likes Received:
    5,072
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    'Stralia Mate!
    How about the one that says too much wanking makes you go blind!
     
    jt _couple2012 likes this.
  13. MariaMaria

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2015
    Messages:
    4,268
    Likes Received:
    5,212
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    I'll give it a try:
    • Virginity Exists - Stays the same
    • Hymens Are a Sign of Virginity - being sexual is a sign of virility
    • All Women Are Born with Vaginas - all men are born with penises
    • The First Time Is Going to Hurt — the first time is gonna make you a man
    • If Someone Buys You Something, You Owe Them Sex - You can buy girls with money, gifts, etc.
    • Too Much Sex Will Stretch You Out - Too much sex doesn't exist and, as a real man, you should want it always
    • Women Don’t Think About Sex Very Much - Real men think about sex all the time
    • Women Don’t Like Casual Sex - Real men will always say yes to sex
    • Boys Buy the Condoms - probably stays the same
    • "Frigid" Wives Make Cheating Husbands - probably stays the same
    That's my take on it. I wonder what the guys think...
     
    10_3XL and lbushwalker like this.
  14. Meee

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2010
    Messages:
    2,198
    Likes Received:
    3,094
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Potomac, Maryland
    All this list did was take some stupid things some people say and tried to make an article out of it by using the more serious word "teaching."

    1. Virginity Exists -- Virginity is a social construction that has been given real consequences. It exists. It shouldn't exist, but it does. This is not a lie.
    2. Hymens Are a Sign of Virginity -- As a legal matter, they sometimes are. They shouldn't be, but they are. Not a lie.
    3. All Women Are Born with Vaginas -- "Boys have penises and girls have vaginas." Details are taught later.
    4. The First Time Is Going to Hurt — A Lot!!! -- Just add the magic word "sometimes" and it isn't a lie.
    5. If Someone Buys You Something, You Owe Them Sex -- Show me the parent, guardian, or school curriculum that teaches this one, LOL.
    6. Too Much Sex Will Stretch You Out -- Actually, I was taught sex would stretch me out, without the "too much."
    7. Women Don’t Think About Sex Very Much -- I recall the opposite being made very clear to me.
    8. Women Don’t Like Casual Sex -- Girls are often taught about issues concerning casual sex, but not stated like this.
    9. Boys Buy the Condoms -- I wasn't taught this. I don't know if anyone else was. I'd believe it, however, if girls used to be taught this.
    10. "Frigid" Wives Make Cheating Husbands -- LOL, that sounds a little advanced to be teaching girls.
    11. You Have to Wax -- LOL. How old are these girls we're trying to teach?
    12. You Can’t Have Sex on Your Period -- I was never taught this, so I can't comment further.
    13. Sex Is Supposed to Hurt Sometimes -- No one teaches this to girls. "Supposed" to? "Supposed" to?
    14. Once You Start Having Sex, You’re Not Allowed to Say ‘Stop’ -- This isn't what girls are taught. We're taught that we might find it very difficult to get the guy to stop. "Allowed" is never used.
    15. Women Don’t Watch Porn -- No one teaches girls about porn.
    16. Sexual Harassment Is Normal -- No one teaches girls that sexual harassment is "normal."
    17. Everybody’s Doing It -- No one teaches girls this.
     
    Amature, 10_3XL and Coffee like this.