Any idea of my sexual dysfunction???

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by wifiepooh2558, Oct 9, 2006.

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  1. wifiepooh2558

    wifiepooh2558 Member

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    I know the reason, but does anyone have any idea on what it may be classified as, first I thought I was frigid... till I looked it up and found that only describes someone who's body is unresponsive to sexual acts... My body more than reacts.....

    Though it has been a while since I have had actual sex... everytime I masturbate usually I would be either having phone sex or thinking about the friend I am inlove with ... madly inlove with... But the problem is when he was intrested in me I didn't go for it and now he won't give me another chance... and I'm at the point that even if I don't fantasize about him or even think of him while I'm masturbating... as soon as I cum, I burst into tears heart brokenly.. on the rare time or two that I haven't cried I have felt awful and heart broken all day long. I'm at the point I have basically given up masturbating because I know it will only make me feel that heartache again... does anyone have a clue what this type of dysfunction may be called? thanks, Alicia
     
  2. originaldankstr

    originaldankstr New Member

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    love? Best thing to do, in my opinion, would be to find another guy. I've never got to the point of crying, but I've felt real bad... it just takes time.
     
  3. wifiepooh2558

    wifiepooh2558 Member

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    I've spent 6 months like this atleast and even if I don't think of him or fantasize about him as soon as I get off I burst into tears, and even if I don't consiously think of it, I'm always reminded that I may never know his touch... we never done anything sexual before..
     
  4. HardRocker

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    Maybe you could seek some professional advice to help you stop obsessing. It's good that you're willing to explore the problem, but we're not trained to help you here. And you know, he may very well not live up to your fantasy if you were able to get him back. Good luck.
     
  5. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Wifey,

    I wish I could scan the article from prevention magazine that I
    read, but its gone.
    But basically it said that women must Give themselves permission to enjoy sex.
    Most of us were taught that sex was dirty and that lingers in
    a woman's mind when they are adults, So you must deal with what you were taught, and put those thoughts where they belong (in the garbage)
    so think of it being garbage and that sex in any form is good.


    Of course I'm not a professional writer, but I hope that helps.
     
  6. jennypenny

    jennypenny New Member

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    I have had this happen to me before too, where I have fantasized about a guy to the point that I was crying when I was finished. Crying because I wanted the guy so bad, but he had in some way hurt me. You dont need any professional help for this. And I dont think this is a sexual dysfunction. Us women tend to get more emotional. That's all it is probably. Because this has happened to me more than once, what you are explaining.
     
  7. jennypenny

    jennypenny New Member

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    Right, but you are thinking of him after you are done. Try not thinking about him at all, before or after.
     
  8. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    OK her it is, from Doctors 100 all-time greatest home remedies.

    Orgasm, Lack of
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    The most common reason why women have difficulty achieving orgasm
    is that they dont give themselves permission, Says Barbara Kessling
    Ph.D. a sex therapist in Orange Cali. and author of Sexual Pleasures and Talk Sexy To The One You Love.
    And this stems from being taught that "Nice Girls-Don't"
    The trick to giving yourself permission is challenging beliefs about sex
    that you've held since childhood. If you do challenge them, You'll find that many of them don't hold up. Ask yourself: Do the sex rules that your parents taught you still make sense now that your grown-up?
    Why shouldnt you enjoy sex now?
     
  9. HerHubby

    HerHubby The SF Poet Laureate
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    Although I do know, for a layperson, a lot about psychology, I cannot just now recall the name for it (I have CRS - "can't remember shit", happens when you get older, ha, ha), however, what you have done is to connect your sexual response to the memory of this guy mentally. Happens all the time. Sometimes when my wife is not available, I have occasionally masturbated and no matter how my sexual fantasy gets started, it always morphs into my wife as I get hotter and hotter and when I cum, I am passionately, lustfully thinking of my wife. Although I am faithful to my wife, if, just for example, I was having sex with another woman, as I got hotter and hotter and ready to cum, my wife would come into my thoughts and be there so I would be thinking of her when I had my orgasm. This also happens when some people get sexually turned on by some other things like rubber or pee or what have you. Somehow the item gets sexualized and makes a sexual connection in one's brain. CONDITIONING, yeah, I think that's the word I am looking for, among other possibilities! Anyway, it will take you some time to do it, if you want to do it, however, you can condition yourself to stop thinking about this guy. On the other hand, you could go to him and just throw yourself at him telling him that you have the hots for him bad and want to totally give yourself to him. Maybe he might feel compassion for you and it might reignite his interest in you. On the other hand, maybe it wouldn't in which case you'll have to recondition yourself and break yourself of him. In my humble opinion of course.
     
  10. Bluesy

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    I'm with HerHubby on this. It sounds like you've conditioned yourself to associate sex with this thoughtless, heartless guy (I'd give him a good thrashing for you if I could). I think the only solution is to consciously push him out of your mind when masturbating; continually redirect your thoughts to other situations, people, etc. The more you do it, the easier it should get.
     
  11. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    Frigid is a term coined by Freud and for the most part Freud has been disproved including his term of frigid.

    I do not seeing anytime type of sexual dysfunction here. I would chalk it up to an experience where there was miscommunication and would learn from it so that the next time it happens you are better prepared to handle the situation.
     
  12. HardRocker

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    Since most of us here are not trained, I believe recommending professional help, as I did in the third reply to wifiepooh2558 in this thread, is a safe option that anyone could reasonably consider. Sorry, however its just my un-trained opinion that advising someone, for whom you have almost no background on, to not seek help is irresponsible. jennypenny, I hope you don't think I'm being contrary for the hell of it, I just don't feel good about taking on that responsibility.
     
  13. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

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    Hi wifey- poo!
    Rather than focusing on naming the dysfunction, focus on healing! I have a few observations:
    1. Thank God for the THRILL of the orgasms you do have, even if they are by yourself, and alone.
    2. Ask yourself, what kind of a cool guy do you want to share those delicious orgams with? Believe me, he's out there too! Maturbating hmself and crying too, and wondering where the HELL are you!
    3. People who are overly "self-involved" tend to stagnate and stew in their own juice. Try focusing on reaching out!
     
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