Anal

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by sexualwonder, Sep 6, 2006.

  1. sexualwonder

    sexualwonder New Member

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    My boyfriend really wants to have anal sex. So can any one give me some pointers. I know that its gonna hurt, we have tried in the past but i told him to get out, lol. This time im planing on going all the way. Is it ok with out a condom in there? We already have sex with out a condom anyway. And is it ok for him to cum there as well? Does any one have ideas how i can relax a bit more?
     
  2. HerHubby

    HerHubby The SF Poet Laureate
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    My wife and I have only tried anal sex twice but both times I got the same instructions to STOP before I had even managed to do more than start gently pressing my penis on her anus. I have, however, read a great deal about anal sex, just out of curiosity about it. What I continue to see, in advice about it is "use what seems like too much lube, then DOUBLE it" both in the womans anus and on the man's penis. My wife isn't willing to try it again, however, again, I have read that starting with a pinky finger, working up to the thumb and then two fingers, etc. - gradually dialating the anus - is what is recommended. Sometimes butt plugs from real small to large, well lubricated, which will gradually open you up is also suggested. If you've ever looked at porn about anal sex, you'll see that women try to achieve what is called a "gape" where the anus sort of holds open temporarily. Of course, gentleness and slowness is recommended in whatever I have read about it. Can't do this "but slammin' butt fucking" that some people want to do. Gotta be slow and easy so you don't damage anything. You can do it without a condom, as long as you are both free of sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV and others, however, due to bacteria in that area, the guy will want to wash well afterwards and may want to drink some cranberry juice (it helps prevent urinary tract infections) and be sure he pees a lot (to clear out any bacteria) immediately after doing it and several times thereafter. If you manage to have anal sex, you should NOT have vaginal sex until your boyfriend has washed extremely well and until after he has peed a few times afterwards (if it was me, after having anal sex, I would not try to have vaginal sex until the next day or so after having washed several times and peed several times and drinking some cranberry juice just to make sure that I had not gotten any bacterial infections which I could pass on to the woman via her vagina). I know that all I have suggested probably seems like a major hassle, however, it would be a lot better than being in a urologists office with a urinary infection, in a gynocologists office with a vaginal-uterine infection or being in a colorectal surgeon's office getting anal damage repaired. People can and do SAFELY have anal sex and apparently enjoy it - even the women - HOWEVER, it is very important that you do it safely so that you can both enjoy it and not end up with any health problems. Before I die, someday, I would love to have anal sex with my wife, but only if we can do it in a way that does not cause us any health problems and does not hurt her. Anyway, again, using LOTS of lube and being careful about tissue damage, proper dialation and preventing infection will be very important. Sorry if I sound "parental" about all this, however, I want you both to be happy and not end up in the hospital! Again, apparently anal sex can be done and enjoyed (I would LOVE to do it) if done carefully. Hope things work out well for you two.
     
  3. Motley Fan

    Motley Fan New Member

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    I am interested to read what you have to say after trying it. I really want to try receiving (wife with strap-on - but I have problems relaxing)
     
  4. Fungirl

    Fungirl New Member

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    I have done anal qiute a few times before because i kinda enjoy it I guess lol. But one thing i can tell you is that if the guy you are with is really big you have to be sure to use lubriaction. If you use enough than it wont hurt nearly as bad at all. :)
     
  5. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Being very VERY turned on is important.

    This will relax those muscles that tend to tighten up involuntarily. Don't go for the butt immediately. Foreplay, including fingering the anal area, will loosen you up. Lube is a 'must'! And start slow. Make sure YOU are in control of when he goes further. After while, you'll be screaming, "harder! harder! ---faster! faster!"
    ;)
     
  6. Fungirl

    Fungirl New Member

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    Yeah being turned on alot is really important too,.
     
  7. sexualwonder

    sexualwonder New Member

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    thanks

    Well i suppose i will give it a go....He is small so im sure he wont break anything. Thank you for the advice =D
     
  8. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    Pointers for anal sex

    Anal sex is best done with a condom. Using a condom is not for birth control due to the risk of pregnancy is almost non existent but is needed to minimise the risk of UTIs (Urinary Track Infections) which is common due to e-coli along with other bacterium being present in that area.

    It is best to slowly work into anal sex and not go at if you were having vaginal sex. As a part of the preparation make sure to use lubrication very liberally along with finger play to anus. I have found finger play to be a very integral part of relaxing the anus and getting it stretched in preparation for sex. A good indication is when the finger is met with minimal resistance from the anus and can easily enter the rectum.

    Once the finger is able to enter the rectum with minimal resistance your bf can try to enter you, anally. The best thing is to make sure you are well lubricated along with him. As he enters you, he must enter very slowly and you must let him know when it start to get painful. After he tell him that it is getting painful, he must stop until you relax enough to enter further. Taking a deep breath fully exhaling and repeating until you feel relax enough for him to proceed. Let him know when to proceed and again he moves slowly until you say stop. The process continues until he is completely inside of you. This may take several minutes being your first time and in no circumstances should it be rushed. At the point he is fully inside of you he should wait for you cue to begin moving. Once you give him the Okay to begin moving it should be done slowly and methodically, stopping when you say stop. His rhythm should be slow, without force, and moving to your cues. After he has made a few thrusts you may find he is able to move faster but make sure to let him know if you need more lubrication.

    Once you have done this a few time the two of you will be able to orchestrate this symphony quite well and will find the time needed is greatly reduced after each successful encounter. The main things to keep in mind is lubrication, stretch, and slow methodical movements. It takes a while to get the hang of it and sometimes it is not the most easiest of things to do but hang in there.
     
  9. Ange

    Ange New Member

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    All the advice of being the more turned on the better and the fact that you can't use too much lube is great. But communicating through the whole experience can't be stressed enough. I also believe that the person recieving should be in control. If the male is penetrating, he should stay still while the woman pushes back and receives the penetration at her speed. It takes a lot of willpower on the male's end not to thrust, but she will tell you to when she is ready. Switch roles. It's the best way to feel what your partner feels. Enjoy!
     
  10. strangeone

    strangeone New Member

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    Usually when my wife and I have anal sex there is a lot of vaginal and oral sex before hand, And before I penetrate her I usually eat her pussy while using a lubed finger to play with her asshole, I dont try to push my finger into her at first I just rub her until she relaxes then I slide my finger in while still eating her pussy, she always has a pretty good orgasm soon after, then I get my turn. I know its safer to use a condom but I never have with my wife and have never had anything bad come of it, I also cum in her ass every time.

    When we first started trying to have anal sex it took a couple of trys but it worked out after a while. One thing that seemed to help was a desensitizing lube(we used anal ez I think), your bf might want to wear a condom if you use something like this but I have done without one and havent had my junk go numb or anything.

    Good Luck
     
  11. luvmywifesass

    luvmywifesass New Member

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    I have a blog (which I never update) that tells how my wife and I got started in anal sex. I think the story there is probably the best advice I can give you about taking it slow. luvmywifesass.blogspot.com
     
  12. KatieBear

    KatieBear New Member

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    I only do anal with good friends and if I do I use tons of lube and they are, of course, wearing a rubber! I very, very seldom fuck anyone, anal or otherwise, without a condom.
     
  13. jess09

    jess09 Banned

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    As far as I know, anal sex carries a really big risk of contracting STDs, so a condom should definitly be used without any doubt. But just don't go into the vagina after with the same condom.
     
  14. bluenavigator

    bluenavigator New Member

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    STDs have 3 ways to get through beside babies issues. Oral, vagina and anal. So one unprotected sex with one of these peneration, chance is there. I think that condom is fine as long as it is still stretchable and still wet. Anal sex then move to vagina sex or vice versa, while still using the condom, STD won't get through at all. Only one is running a risk of breaking the condom. Replacing condoms is a good advice. For oral sex, you have to get dentist dam or flavored condom. My lady said that unflavored condom tastes so nasty. Flavored condom or unflavored condom with flavored lube will work.
     
  15. Joe

    Joe
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    Wrong bluenavigator, at least according to experts. The anus has all kinds of bacteria that do not belong in the vagina and can lead to problems. It's not a matter of STDs getting through the condom, but of moving bacteria from where they're supposed to be to somewhere they shouldn't be.

    Anal sex is more dangerous for some STDs, especially AIDS, because it passes directly to the blood stream. Anal sex often causes some tearing (bleeding), and this is where the virus enters the body. That's why it's commonly passed from one gay male to another.
     
  16. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

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    The probabilty of the penetrating male to get a urinary infection is mega high! And they're not always easy to get rid of! And the infected guy can pass the infection to you, days later when you have vaginal sex without a condom. Do anal only with condoms!
     
  17. Bella

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    I have done anal qiute a few times before because I enjoy it.

    Like everyone says... use lots of lube, relax & enjoy what you are experiencing!! :)
     
  18. bluenavigator

    bluenavigator New Member

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    I didn't say that anal sex without condom is safe. Of course, with condoms, 99% chance to protect oneself and the partner. 1% is the chance when the condom breaks. Of course, replace condoms between sex with different person/different hole is good idea. Buying bulk condoms is worth every penny.

    In anus, of course, there are millions of bactericas that are supposed to go down the toliet.