Anal

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by DarkDeciever, Jul 9, 2007.

  1. DarkDeciever

    DarkDeciever New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2007
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi this is my first post.
    Me and my girlfreind have been trying anal for sometime now and everytime we try it wont go in and it really herts both of us. A real uncomfortable feeling can any suggest anything? Thanks guys
     
  2. Barbwire

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Messages:
    9,789
    Likes Received:
    174
    Gender:
    Female
    Welcome to :sf . You will find, if you do a search, that anal has been discussed plenty here. I am sure you will get all the answers to your questions if you look.
     
  3. daisy82

    daisy82 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2007
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    Totally relax and make sure you are really in the mood. Don't push yourselves it will only make it worse. I dont particulary like it but do it from time to time so that is my advice!!
     
  4. Bluesy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2006
    Messages:
    3,779
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Honey, why are you doing something you don't enjoy? A guy who cares about and respects you isn't going to want you to engage in any sexual activity that's uncomfortable and/or painful.
     
  5. daisy82

    daisy82 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2007
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    I like it from time to time just not all that much I have to be really in the mood for it. I didn't say I hated it.
     
  6. Bluesy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2006
    Messages:
    3,779
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    If it hurts (even a teeny bit), stop immediately. You can do serious damage back there if you aren't careful. It should never, never, never, ever hurt. A lot of people need to begin anal play with small toys and work their way up to larger objects (i.e. penis). And it can take a while for the body to adapt; rarely, it can take a few years. Get a good anal lube like WET or Boy Butter (do NOT get something like Anal-eze because you need to know if there is any pain!), and make sure she really wants to get involved in anal play or else she won't be relaxed or aroused enough for it.

    Here's a little good reading on anal sex: http://www.talksexwithsue.com/analsex.html.

    Be safe and have fun!
     
  7. Bluesy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2006
    Messages:
    3,779
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Gotcha. When you said "I don't particularly like it", I took that to mean you'd be a happy camper if you knew you'd never have to do it again. It seems I misunderstood. Sorry!
     
  8. Barbwire

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Messages:
    9,789
    Likes Received:
    174
    Gender:
    Female
    *snaps to attention* We got a free sample of anal-eze with some stuff we ordered from Adam & Eve. It had sat around for months, but a few weeks ago, I had my husband grab it for when we had our first DP (wand with attachment in vagina, penis in anus) Now, it was the first time I tried using the wand with him, and I was in a position that we had never tried before, and for the first time I actually liked anal. It was a bit painful for about a stroke or two as he broached the entrance, but after that it was very stimulating to me. I HAD thought I enjoyed it because of the new position and the stimulation the wand offered my clitoris and g-spot, but now I am wondering if it was the lube, itself.

    I take it that there is a numbing agent in Anal-ese?
     
  9. Ice Cold

    Ice Cold New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2003
    Messages:
    165
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    VA
    my gf and i have tried anal ease, but we still have yet to have anal sex. (Just get the head in and she wants to stop). I put it on my fingers and they tingle then go numb, she says she can feel her butt go a lil numb too. I don't really like it because i want her to feel everything, and theres no point of us having anal sex if shes not goin to enjoy the whole experience, but we use it as a measure of taking baby steps till eventually not needing it at all.
     
  10. bdd200424

    bdd200424 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2007
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    pittsburgh
    For anybody trying anal sex for the first time, take it slow. I highly recommend starting with your finger at first and using lots of lube. Remember to always clean up afterwards. Being sanitary is often overlooked. When your girl is comfortable with one finger, try 2. Though it may take a couple weeks, eventually she'll be ready for the real thing. When she is, use a condom and make sure to keep the lines of communication open. You won't want to jackhammer, and she'll know when it's too rough. Of the few times I've done anal I've only been able to insert a few inches and wiggle around. I think girth is more of a limiting factor than length. If you're thick keep it in mind and be sensitive to her needs. Ultimately, anal sex is all about her, in my opinion. Pay attention to her body language and know her limits as well as yours.
     
  11. Malfie

    Malfie New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2007
    Messages:
    52
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Dallas, TX
    Anal isnt for everyone, but it might be for you, keep that in mind.

    First, dont start by sticking a penis in the ass, thats way to big for the first time. Anal is different than vaginal sex, because its not really designed to accept big things easily. (im not saying its bad, i love it both ways personaly)

    Be relaxed, this is the most important thing you can do. It will keep the anus from convulsing and causing sharp pain for both. Take a warm bath, play some sooting music, use some aeromatic things like body wash or insence.

    Start small. Please for your own good use 1 finger when you first try it. Slowly press utill it goes in, then pull it out and repeat. Do this slowly. Over time get deeper and deeper. After 1 finger can go all the way in comfterbly, together agree that another should be added. Continue the process untill required width.

    LUBE LUBE LUBE. The anus does not a bartholin's gland, which means it does not produce its own lube, so you must get some to use. Make sure you use plenty.

    Communication durring anal is very important. Make sure there is a safty word, even if its just stop. Anal can sometimes be painful if done wrong and if it is, stop imediatly.

    Clean it out. Make sure before anal that the anus is clean. Have a full bowel movement 2 hours before, or an enema. A dirty anus is one that will hurt and make a mess, a clean one feels great for both.

    Take it slow, dont go shoving large things into an ass too quickly. Also, do not transfer anything from the ass to the vagina, its bad and can cause infections.
     
  12. Father Bob

    Father Bob New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2007
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    0
    number one rule for anal sex.....lube, lube, and more lube!

    fore play is most important...get her warmed up and ready. next step is LUBE up your fingers, if you think you have way to much lube on, put on some more! lube her anus. insert ONE finger and work it in SLOWLY....be slow and easy. you will feel the muscles in her anus relax after you have SLOW fingered her for a while. after she relaxes, insert the second finger SLOWLY!! she will react to your fingering, and you'll know when she's ready for your cock. lube, lube and put more lube on your cock and GENTLY press it into her anus. don't push hard, just steady....you will feel her relax even more and accept the head of your dick. once the head is in, push GENTLY until you are in to your balls..move SLOWLY in and out until SHE starts to pick up the pace. gradually speed up the pace. she will meet your thrusts when she's become comfortable and is enjoying it....that's when you can tell what the "speed limit" is.

    my wife loves for me to slam her hard once we get going. it will ALWAYS be the same slow start whenever you have anal sex.

    the best lubes are:

    ID lube
    astroglide
    Sliquid
    and Slippery Stuff

    always use a silicone based lube......read the label!!

    NEVER use a petrolium based lube...it burns her anus and causes more difficulties. never use vaseline or anything of that nature.
     
  13. wadafxup1

    wadafxup1 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2007
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    0
    Don't force yourself to do it..if you don't like it..simply don't do it.
     
  14. relaxhun

    relaxhun New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2007
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    0
    apparently anal should NEVER hurt, just take it slow.. lube up and relax (If she doesn't want to do it, STOP) Do not put her under pressure, i can't stress this enough!
     
  15. resigirl

    resigirl New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2007
    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    You have to take it slow. Don't just shove it in or it will hurt. Like relaxhun said, use some lube and take it easy. If it still won't happen, leave it!
     
  16. TheShed

    TheShed New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2007
    Messages:
    102
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    UK
    I agree with pretty much everyone on here.

    Start small and work up. I have a pretty thick cock (not meaning to boast here!) and I still manage it.

    Also, just like you should never touch a dry clit don't even think of going near her anus with anything without lube.

    CL - I think it'll be benzocaine in Anal-eze. It's a local anaesthetic that they also use in those condoms to stop you from cumming too quickly. I just think it's weird.
     
  17. Cora

    Cora New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2007
    Messages:
    152
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    I've been reading this thread and any like it for the last couple of days. I'm with a guy at the moment who's asking for anal... and I've never really had much desire for it, and am nervous. There was a bit of a failed attempt when he first asked (we moved onto something else as soon we realised we weren't getting anywhere though). I'm still nervous as anything, and not sure what I think of it all... but I did just purchase an anal plug (smallest size) and lubricant online a moment ago. I don't feel like I'm being pressured to do something I'm going to regret or anything like that... I may not have had any real desire for anal sex in the past, but I have a strong desire to push my usual boundries with this guy. That's why I want to do things that on the other hand I don't. Doesn't that make sense to anyone?? :eek:
     
  18. msduncan

    msduncan Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Messages:
    290
    Likes Received:
    38
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Nebraska
    Wouldn't a numbing agent for anal sex be dangerous in that you wouldn't be able to tell if it hurts and thus you wouldn't know if you were doing damage or not?
     
  19. Bluesy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2006
    Messages:
    3,779
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Correct. You need to know if there's any pain. Pain means "stop"; how do you know if/when to stop if you're numb? Anal-eze and the like is a bad, bad, very bad idea.
     
  20. Bluesy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2006
    Messages:
    3,779
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Make sure you're really turned on and relaxed whenever you decide to try the plug for the first time. You may want to have him rim you first (lick the anus, and a person can do this through a dental dam if the thought icks them out), and massage your anus lightly...just play around back there a bit, maybe during a BJ. If you find this sort of anal stimulation pleasurable, you can move on to the plug. You don't have to get the entire plug in the first time you use it--play with it, slide it in and out like a dildo as far as is comfortable. I think that for this moment in time, experimenting, seeing how well the plug goes over, is plenty enough to occupy your mind...try not to even think about sex or associate the plug with anal sex. Dilation is a gradual process, anyway. If you don't enjoy using the plug, I'm sure your partner will understand. Let us know how it works out, 'kay? :)