Anal Sex

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by babydoll71888, Jan 4, 2006.

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  1. babydoll71888

    babydoll71888 New Member

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    My fiancee' and I have been dating for a little over 2 years. I was a virgin when we met, but we have tried everything since then. The first time he brought up anal sex I was fine with it b/c I wanted to try everything. The first few times we did it, it was fine. It didn't even hurt the very first time. But now every time we try to have anal sex it hurts me so bad. He loves it and I used to until I got all the pain. What would cause it to hurt so bad all of a sudden? How could we make it easier and maybe a little more pain free for me?
     
  2. Joe

    Joe
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    Are you doing something different now than before it started hurting? Maybe going deeper? Maybe not as much lube? Not as relaxed? Different positions? Always try to relax and use plenty of lube.
     
  3. pussycat69

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    I agree with Joe.You're probably not relaxed and maybe are stressed,afterall,that is a sensitive area for most.I too find that positioning does help...from behing always feels a little more gentle.Also,i agree...make sure you lube,it could make a difference.But then again,sometimes ,you're just not in the mood to do it and you get tense...don't do it if you are...take a little break from it so that when you are in the mood it'll be a treat for the both of you.
     
  4. Rogue

    Rogue New Member

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    Been there... here's some advice

    I've had a good deal of experience with anal sex, both in the giving and receiving of it. After the first few times its easy to assume you can just dive in. This is not always so. Sometimes you're just tense without even being aware of it. taking the time before hand is SO important. In my experience, most of the pain comes from between the ears, not between the cheeks. Being mentally ready for it is imperative. If you've had a painful experience you might begin to expect pain. If you expect it you will tense up and there's the pain you expected. Take the time to talk to your man and make sure you take the time to get ready and not go to fast. As far as the pain that can come from between your cheeks there are some simple things you can do. I assume that you guys aren't worried about STD's so you're not fooling with condoms. (Thank God for anal sex!) Silicone lube is the best thing since sliced bread! I recommend Wet Platinum or ID Millennium. Its just not compatible with those damn condoms. Latex lube doesn't last as long, and is stickier. Silicone doesn't feel all gross in there after sex either. Good luck with your butt, hon! Please PM me if you want any further advice. Don't give up! If you haven't had an anal orgasm yet, you're missing out!
     
  5. fantasien

    fantasien New Member

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    I'd have to agree with this person. You have to be 110% ready for anal Sex. It takes a certain mindset. My whole body and mind have to be in the mood for it. Take a bath with rose pettals, Have a nice healthy salad for dinner, Massage your anus and erogenous areas. Read or watch some erotica...

    It doesn't have to be in that order.
     
  6. Rogue

    Rogue New Member

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    Good ideas!

    You have some really good ideas, fantasien! Those nice little things leading up to anal sex sound really sweet. It can be easy to forget those details and do too much too fast. :phat Guys can be a pain in the ass! Hey, maybe using a strap-on on him might help him gain a more rounded perspective. What goes around comes around! :lol
     
  7. babydoll71888

    babydoll71888 New Member

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    Gosh...I wish he'd let me do that to him. I've mentioned it several times and he said I was crazy. He won't even let me use a finger so I know nothing else will be going up there! I'll try some of the relaxation tips though!
     
  8. Joe

    Joe
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    Considering this is a thread about anal sex, I'd tend to agree.:D
     
  9. Brad

    Brad New Member

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    Hi Babydoll

    Rogue made a good comment on this very interesting topic:

    "Hey, maybe using a strap-on on him might help him gain a more rounded perspective"

    Your response was even more revealing:

    "Gosh...I wish he'd let me do that to him."

    That to me speaks volumes!

    It suggests to me that your partner needs to let you take a little more control and for him to be a little more considerate towards your feelings on things and to ensure you get pleasure from it without pain.

    I don't understand how he won't let you use a finger whilst it is okay for him to do it all on you!

    If I were your partner in those circumstances with your fantastically willing attitude it would be:

    "Okay, I want you to penetrate my ass and show you how nice that feels for me!! I want to know that it can be done. I want to learn how it can be done on me so that I can do it on you in a way that blows your mind without any pain!"

    It takes two to tango as they say!
     
  10. Rogue

    Rogue New Member

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    Babydoll, your boyfriend is very lucky to have someone with such a good attitude! In a perfect world you'd both be able to be free to enjoy each other's bodies. Your boyfriend may not know much about anal pleasure for your and himself. My wife suggested the strap-on to me and I also thought it was a bit weird too. Then I learned a little more about it and tried it. It's well worth the effort! It makes it a more shared experience, if that makes any sense. I think it also made me better at giving her anal sex. Suggest that he read something about prostate stimulation via strap-on. Since us guys are lazy by nature, you might want to find the information for him. There are also some good books on the subject. Still, nothings better than practical exercise and lots of it! Good luck with your boyfriend, he's a lucky guy!
     
  11. zebedee

    zebedee New Member

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    best position for beginners is for the lady astride the man slowly lowering her anus onto his cock with plenty of lube on both.
    she will then be in complete control about when and how far inside her it goes. less risk and pain control as she can soon relax and enjoy the pleasure she will soon find and want to try again.
    this is better than a brutish way of guys forcing it in when other positions;)
     
  12. Ladysierra

    Ladysierra New Member

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    Actually for my first time I preferred to do it doggy style. My bf at the time was very patient and moved very slowly, if I made a painful sound he would stop and after a moment try again. It worked great for me.

    I am a huge fan of anal sex, but there are times when I can't do it. I think I just have to be in a certain mood for it. Sometimes helps if he fingers my ass while having sex and then I'm ready to go so he can finish with anal. But sometimes he can't even get the head in there and it hurts so bad we have to do something else.
     
  13. LeeAnn

    LeeAnn New Member

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    Granted I havent been in a long term relationship to know how often we'd have anal. I've only recently been involved with someone and we're having alot of anal sex and I love it. My first time was sort of doggy, I was standing up but bent over. If you're not used to it, at first, like when he pulls it all the way out of your hole and then pushes it right back in, it can make that elastic popping sound. It just depends how much you enjoy the feeling of it and what weird thrill you're getting out of knowing you like it as much as you do, if that makes sense. The only time I won't do it is if my digestion is off for some reason. then I'll wait.
     
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