Anal sex problem? How to work our way to it?

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by Adventurer, Jul 31, 2013.

  1. Adventurer

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    Part 1
    My wife and I have tried anal sex before...

    The first time was in our fist year of marriage. She said when she did the enema before hand, she did not like how it made her stomach feel. But she was still willing to do it again.

    We would discuss it from time to time, but we did not try it again until years later...and that was the last time. The last time we tried it, I only put the head of my penis inside her. She was relaxed so it didn't hurt. I can't recall if she did an enema before hand or not. Knowing us, probably. But anyway, later that night, she got a REALLY bad stomach ache.

    We don't know that it was caused by the anal or not, but we have been reluctant to try again. :(

    Does anyone know if anal can cause a...blockage, or constapation, or something?

    Part 2
    Also... should we maybe try anal plugs? Would it be better to start with an anal plug? I have been considering picking up some anal plugs for her to try. I see them being sold on ebay. I figure that is the cheapest place to get them. We dont want to spend a lot on them.
    Are there any that would be recommended? Or will anything do?


    For now I'll probably just use my finger on her and see how that goes. Maybe that would be a good way to work up to anal sex?
     
  2. redics_girl

    redics_girl Active Member

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    LOTSLOTSLOTSLOTSLOTSLOTSLOTS of lube! And yes, it can cause pressure, but it can also clear the way as well. Sometimes I ask for anal cuz I'm bound up and I know afterward I won't be having any problems. Yes you should start with a small plug. Something thin and not a "hard" plastic. You want something that will flex with her the first few times as she gets used to it.
    anal is an art, honestly. you can't just jump right into it.
     
  3. Anotherday

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    lube and patience

    Lots of both
     
  4. Adventurer

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    Okay,
    So my wife and I talked about it. I told her to pick up a cleaning kit at the store. She said she would be up to working our way up. I am thinking we'll just start with playing with her anus. And maybe fingering it a little. And we will use lube and take it slow.
    Then maybe we can look into some anal plugs of varying sizes and play with those.
    Then after that, maybe she'll be ready for my cock.
     
  5. Frank84

    Frank84 Member

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    Last week me and wife talked about it and started with my finger and loads of lube hoping to build up to my cock.

    Let me know how you get on and toys you use. Me and wife feel we can have loads of fun with anal
     
  6. HotForHoney

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    With my exbf, we (he) started slowly with one finger a few times, then two fingers. He did a circular movement, not just in and out. I'd say within 2 weeks he was in my ass.

    He has to go in straight - any angle and it hurts. He starts slowly, a few pumps. Then he can really go to town and pound me. I have to start on my back, legs together. Once the pounding starts, we can switch positions. Usually me on my back, a little doggie. I never rode him - I was too scared. I felt like he knew what he was doing, where to go, how hard/deep.

    I need to be relaxed. He lubes up my ass when he fingers it first and his dick.

    We also have a safe word. If I say that, he pulls out immediately, no questions asked.
     
  7. Albert

    Albert New Member

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    eat her and lick her ass while doing it it will relax her use a lot of lube and if she says quit u should some nights its easy some nights its not
     
  8. veg206

    veg206 New Member

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    it really helps when a guy licks me down there first i noticed its the only way that theres no pain when he penetrates
     
  9. Silverfox

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    OK, my ex-wife and I did this. Yes, her stomach ache could have been caused by this. You'll have to go slowly, and she has to trust you. You need lots of lube and patience. Stretch her with your fingers first. Take all the time she needs. Let her tell you when she's ready. When you push in, again the operative word is slow. Don't just ram her. Gentle strokes as you work yourself in. If you're big you probably won't be able to go in all the way. You don't want to risk tearing her rectum. After you've pushed in as far as you're going to, stay still for a moment and let her become accustomed to you. When you start stroking don't lose control of yourself. Steady stroking is what you need. Remember the lube, she may need more. Over applying is much better than under. Don't ram her even if she asks you to. You must control yourself.

    You can't do this for half an hour. Don't plan on cumming unless you're very close before you start. The anus isn't designed for this even though there are lots of nerve endings in this area and she may find it very stimulating. And make sure, if you don't use a condom, to thoroughly clean yourself up with soap and water before you start fucking her, or let her suck you. There are bacteria in her rectum that shouldn't be in her pussy or her mouth. When you're cleaning up, don't forget your balls.

    I recall from another forum, that your wife is a small woman. She may not be able to tolerate anal. You'll have to see.
     
    #9 Silverfox, Nov 9, 2013
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2013
  10. Adventurer

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    Yeah, I am not sure it'll work. But she's willing to try. She's going to start by fingering herself in the shower. Then we will probably move on to my fingering her, get her comfortable with that first.

    I think I mentioned that we tried anal sex when we were first married. Seems like if I recall correctly, that she told me the rinsing out before hand bothered her, but I don't recall her saying the anal sex did, and I was able to go fairly deep. But it was long enough ago that I don't recall all the details. I don't remember if I was able to go all the way in or not. Seems like most of the way, Pretty far at least though, but I don't remember going all the way in. (As I have a picture of it). :).
    Bit the last time we did it (just a couple years ago, I only just put my head in her. And came pretty quick. It didnt bother her right then, but It was later that night that she got the really bad stomach ache. Maybe from the anal...
    So we will definitely plan to take it very slow.
    It turns out, for me, I don't like having anal done to me. I've been playing around with it, and it just dosnt feel all tht good to me personally. No matter how slow I go or how much lube. Its not painful... It just....isn't comfortable to me for some reason. Still, it was fun trying. :)
     
    #10 Adventurer, Nov 12, 2013
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2013
  11. biker061

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    i'd babelfish this but i probably have no useful advice!
     
  12. Silverfox

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    Yeah, it's a strange feeling at first. I have a prostate massager that my wife has learned to use on me. It won't make me cum, unless she's sucking me, so it's probably the head that actually makes me blow. Anyway, it does push out some cum in a glob about the size of a pea, or maybe a little larger. It's a different feeling, kind of like the faintest, faintest echo of an orgasm. I don't know, but I like it. My wife spreads it all over the head of my clock, then takes me in her mouth and licks it off. Sometimes she goes ahead and sucks me off, depending on how hot she feels, or I go down on her for a few orgasms. It varies.

    I should get a moderately large dildo, about my size (I'm only average, though I do cum a lot.), so I could get a feel for what it's like to take a cock. Wouldn't be exactly the same, but I'd have an idea of what my ex was feeling. She always liked it.
     
  13. alwaystry

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    Yes lots of lube! And for me in the past if the girl wanted and suggested the anal there wasn't any working up to it , she took her time and would slide down slow or on her hands and knees and would back into me. If it was my idea or suggestion it seemed they weren't ready for it even thought there was lube it just wasn't going to work. So it seems to me if they werehorny for it they were more relaxed and it worked. And yes ,in one case toys helped but relaxing and lube was the key.
     
  14. mispas

    mispas New Member

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    There is a really good video on uporn that shows step by step, lube,foreplay and the more hot she is makes her more relaxed. One of the first times we did it i was on top....having the control made it easier for me, now we love it
     
  15. Adventurer

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    Sending you a pm.
     
  16. HotForHoney

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    I'm going to disagree with you based on my experience.

    3 months seems like a long time. Exbf started "prepping" my ass maybe a week (2-3 times) before he was able to enter. On the second time entering, he was able to go deep and fast.

    It was exciting to learn, explore and experience that with someone. I am glad I did it with him/someone.
     
    hotroddennis likes this.
  17. ranger

    ranger New Member

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    Open communication is important. My wife and I started having anal sex about a year ago after many years of tounge, toy and finger play. she would always let me know when to stop. Being patient helped greatly. My wife now enjoys it on occasion
    and I absolutely love it.
     
  18. Boston77

    Boston77 New Member

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    I guess when sex gets boring or a wife's vagina gets too loose to give a man the "tightness" he seeks, a guy wants to try ANAL sex. He gets a lot of pleasure but for the woman there's a huge health danger. I'm a Registered Nurse and ladies, heed this warning: Eventually you will end up with rectum problems that you will regret - the mixture of saliva and blood is a deadly combination. The sphincter muscle is NOT meant to be stretched out and you are inviting the same AIDS virus that GAY men have experienced because of this continued practiced. Hope you've got GOOD health insurance...you're going to need it!
     
  19. Boston77

    Boston77 New Member

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    You will have BIG problems with ur rectum by the time you're 50.....Anal sex is relatively NEW in the past 5 years as a common practice therefore, the reports are not all in. But men and women over 50, as a rule, and by surveys, usually do NOT practice anal sex because they are more AWARE of all the problems; it is more common with the YOUTH generation. Just like today's youth who choose to explore Lesbianism or homosexuality it is still a form of depravity and sodomy. There's a reason God calls it an abomination, because it will kill you or deform you in some way. The rectum is NOT for entry...EXIT only. Be informed. By the time this generation reaches 50....you will see THOUSANDS OF REPORTS about the health dangers....I guarantee that!
     
  20. Silverfox

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