New here, so this is going to be my first post lol (yay!). I have had issues with anal sex ever since I first tried it, and I was hoping I could get some help with it. My previous relationship lasted 5 years (how it even lasted that long I have no idea). After a year, I was a virgin mind you, we tried anal. It was THEE MOST PAINFUL thing ever next to a toothache (or hookah headache, take your pick). We tried for the duration of the relationship, and in the end I could only bottom for a few minutes before it was too much... he either had to cum that way, or wash his dick off and let me suck him off. We tried EVERYTHING during those five years, btw. Let's see... we tried 2 butt plugs (to loosen my hole), 2 dildos, a vibrating dildo, multiple kinds of lube (water-based and silicone primarily), anal ease, fingering, and I'm probably forgetting one or two things. Now I'm in a new relationship, 6 months next month, and my ass is back to virgin tight... I mean like, it feels like the first time I got fucked all over again tight. We've tried poppers and lidocaine... albeit without much success. However, the lidocaine was interesting. When enough was used, I felt NO PAIN. But, every time he thrust in I felt like I had a full bladder, he'd thrust out and it'd go away, so on and so forth... needless to say, it was uncomfortable. And if that's what it feels like when one's prostate is stimulated... then seriously, I don't know what the fuss is about! That shit's annoying! He tells me that I clench up too tight, and that's why it hurts. He's convinced that I'm doing it on purpose, but I'm really not, it's just a natural reaction. (He's said that my ass locks up like Fort Knox.) And then there are times where I swear just the head goes in, and it hurts so fucking bad that I'll push him off and lay there with my hole throbbing for a few minutes, and any movement whatsoever does not help, like at all. It's just ridiculous, if so many other people can bottom like it's nothing, what is the secret? Sometimes I wonder if asking a guy to rape my ass would help, like ripping a bandaid off instead of pulling it off slowly and painfully. Any ideas? Shiiit, I wonder how painful fisting is... ain't gonna try that though!