[Ask a Girl] Anal Sex..... Gf says no, won't even experiment

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by drewgiehowser, Oct 2, 2010.

  1. drewgiehowser

    drewgiehowser New Member

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    I am a huge fan of anal sex and my current gf will not even consider it. She had a bad experience prior, and then goes into all the horror stories she hears at work about people having problems after anal sex (she works in a hospital).... I find this totally hypocritical as she is a smoker... go figure.

    I have told her her that anal sex can be amazing and the man certainly needs to do it right... lube, take it slow, experiment, lube, lube and more lube..... Unfortunately, she is unwilling to give me a chance.

    So ladies... what do I do?
     
  2. Hot Wheels

    Gold Member

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    First off.....I'd like to know what anal has to do with smoking?:eyes
    Second....if she's had an unpleasant experience with it before, it's no wonder she's a little gun-shy with the prospect.....you might try and reintroduce a little anal play into your love life by starting with just a finger:shrug
    But if she still doesn't want to know.....then dont' push the issue....after all, despite the fact that anal can be awesome when both partners are into it, not everybody is......some people just don't want to go there....full stop.:ugh
    If this is the case....respect her wishes.
     
  3. Mittimer

    Gold Member

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    Flat out, No means No.
    If she doesn't want to do it, and she doesn't want to budge due to the fact that she's had prior instances that went wrong, the you can't force her to do so.
    I'm with wheels, what the hell does her smoking have anything to do with her not allowing you to do anal with her?

    Ask her if she's willing to buy a few toys and experiment with them. Like an anal trainer kit, some anal beads, ect. If she's willing, SLOWLY start her off on that, give it a few weeks, maybe even months before you even consider trying to shove your cock in her.

    How long have you two been together? I'm curious how long this has been an issue.
     
  4. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    I believe anal sex is one of those things that comes later in a relationship, after the couple has been together for a while and almost everything on "the list." Reason why I say this anal sex is not like having sex in different room or in a car that is parked in a parking garage. Instead for anal sex to work, I feel, it involves a degree of trust and the couple being able to communicate about sex. Since your girlfriend has had previous bad experience with this it will probably take more time to for her to develop the necessary trust to consider the idea. My advice, therefore, is to give this some time and let the issue die for a good year then try to revisit it with her. Also I would recommend trying to find ways that the two of you can develop your communication and trying to find ways to build trust in the relationship. If you can do that then I feel you may be successful when you re-visit the suggestion.
     
  5. pool_shark

    pool_shark Active Member

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    I believe he's just saying that she's a smoker which is unhealthy, but she doesn't want to try anal because she hears how unhealthy it is.
     
  6. Meee

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    Don't get into the habit of bringing up smoking when you disagree with her, whether it's about health issues or anything else. "Oh yeah? What about smoking?" isn't going to win any arguments--it's just throwing it in her face. Everyone has their little contradictions or "hypocricies" as you put it.

    Anyway, you already got good advice about the anal sex question, so I won't add to that part. I like anal; we started out gentle and we still do it that way. Porn thrusting is for porn.