Anal sex advice

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by oscitate, Jun 17, 2007.

  1. oscitate

    oscitate New Member

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    So, I'm in a healthy long-term relationship and we like to explore and experiment. One thing that has come up lately is anal play and sex. We are both very open to the idea and I'd like to know if anyone out there has any suggestions or advice for us. On a more serious note, I'd also like to know if anyone has information (preferably from a reputable source, although I'm sure there aren't tons of studies being done) regarding the risks involved with anal sex, specifically in terms of incontinence and prolapse. Thanks.
     
  2. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    There are several threads on this subject, with a good amount of serious advice to the 'first-timers'.

    Go to the top of the page and click "Search". Type in "Anal" and click the box marked "Show Threads".

    Have fun!! :)
     
  3. heelfetish

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    I find some of the good info gets buried when you try to search for it. :ugh I've written lots on the subject, and I don't mind writing a bit again. :)

    • Start slow!
    • use LOTS of lube. I prefer silicone-based, but water-based cleans up easier
    • Relaxation, communication, lubrication and trust are all key ingredients.
    • Start with fingers, then move to small toys. Don't go for the large toys/penis right away
    • Kegal exercises are great for becoming aware of your sphincter muscles and how to relax them.
    • Try to have a bowel movement before you start play. Clean up well, washing the area, and slip a soapy finger into your ass to clean the opening. If you are healthy, there should only be trace amounts of fecal matter in the rectum except immediately before a BM. If you want to be squeaky clean, you can have a plain-water enema before any anal play. Don't overdo it though, too many enemas can throw off your digestive system.
    • While porn is great for stimulating interest in an activity, it is by no means realistic. It takes a while to work up to the activities they picture. And don't think they go to straight ass fucking without proper warm-up. :)

    Take your time, and enjoy it. Anal is a very intimate, relaxing experience. Take it slow, lots of foreplay. Light some candles, start with a body massage, oral sex, etc. Done right, anal sex should be 100% painless!

    There should be no worries about incontinence or damage, so long as you do it right. Tales of incontinence, etc, are usually from those who are not safe about it. No lube, no warm-up, oversize objects, pain, etc. Done properly, anal sex should have the opposite effect.

    Sorry for the confusing post. I had a bunch of information to share and not the time to organize it properly. :)
     
  4. oscitate

    oscitate New Member

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    Thank you very much for the info.
     
  5. Bluesy

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    Such great advice from HF, and I also think Sue Johanson (Canada's "Dr. Ruth") has some good advice: http://www.talksexwithsue.com/analsex.html

    There haven't been any studies on the issues you've mentioned (yet, anyway, that I'm aware of), but from having regularly perused various sex forums, and reading many Q&A sessions with sexperts, I occasionally come across stories of fecal incontinence resulting from long-term frequent anal sex. *shrugs* You have to decide for yourself what you feel comfortable with. It's not an area of the body that's designed for sex, and it isn't impervious to damage...anal sex is a high risk activity. Remember, no pain. If there is any whatsoever, stop immediately. No numbing lubes, either, because pain is a signal that your body is not capable of handling such a large object (at least not at that point in time), and you need to know what your body's capacity is in order to avoid doing damage back there.

    Be safe and have fun!
     
  6. vampire raver

    vampire raver New Member

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    True you don't want to rip anything, HF has great advice,

    Number 1 rule the person recieving has to be in control
    number 2 go slow
     
  7. heelfetish

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    I love sue, but she's not the only 'sexpert'. If you follow her advice to the letter, the mouth isn't 'designed for sex' either. ;) If you are interested in learning more about anal, look into other sexperts, such as Tristan Taormino. Most traditional sexperts will just advise you to avoid anal, rather than offer good information on the subject.
     
  8. Bluesy

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    I respect that your favorite authority on the subject is Taormino, but I just don't find her to be a credible source of info on the subject due to her lack of medical expertise. Personally, I'm only going to listen to the advice of a sexpert who has a professional knowledge of, and respect for, the intricacies of the human body. That's just me. Again, I respect that you've got your own views.

    What I like about Sue Johanson is that she's presenting a very sensible and balanced approach to anal in the article I linked to. She doesn't say "don't do it", she presents the known risks so participants can make an informed decision (as it should be with all sexual activities), and then she tells you how to best go about it so as to maximize enjoyment while avoiding injury.

    The line in my post about the rectum not being designed for sex is purely my own--I didn't get it from the article. Factually speaking, anal sex does come with certain risks. That's just a straightforward observation, not a criticism of those who enjoy it or are interested in it. I love anal play and look forward to trying anal sex someday. No reason why you can't if you're careful.
     
  9. soy

    soy New Member

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    ok i have a question about this too, when you say go slow, are we talking like a couple weeks worth of anal play, moving on to bigger and better things, or can you work into anal sex within a couple of hours?
     
  10. Bluesy

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    It all depends on your personal anatomical structure--everyone's different. Some people can jump right into anal sex, others need lots of anal play to dilate the anus, beginning with small toys. The dilation process can take a while, a few months perhaps, and rarely, a few years or so. It's an individual thing. You'll learn your body's limits through play.
     
  11. heelfetish

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    Agreed. :) There certainly are risks involved with Anal, no doubt more than with any other sexual activity. But respecting those risks and proceeding with care, one should not feel the need to avoid it completely.

    And you're right, Tristan isn't a doctor. But she is a published and respected author, and one of the few who dares to discuss the 'taboo' topics other experts refuse to touch. I didn't mean to imply that she's the 'holy grail' of information, but rather that you can find good credible information and extensive tips on anal sex from her that you won't find elsewhere.

    Sue is a wonderful woman, and by no means should anyone ignore her advice. I've watched her show for years, both 'Sex with Sue' and 'The Sunday Night Sex Show'. I've read several of her articles as well. However she's not infallible. I remember one night several years ago, someone called in asking about flavoured condoms. Sue, for the life of her, could not understand what the purpose of a flavored condom might be. I was screaming at the TV "For oral sex, you silly expert!" :lol

    Anyway, Bluesy, you make several great points. Anal needs to be treated with the respect and care it deserves. It is more dangerous than other forms of sex, and needs to be approached that way. However that should not stop willing partners from experimenting with it, at least IMO. :)