Anal hurts!

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by whtf4blkm559, Jul 23, 2004.

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  1. whtf4blkm559

    whtf4blkm559 New Member

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    My swinging partner and I have recently been doing anal. He likes that alot but I am not comfortable with it at all. I have a hard time trying to relax. I can't even enjoy it, how can I be able to really enjoy it? Sometimes after awhile it doesnt hurt that bad but it is still unconfortable. What should I do?
     
  2. p51fastone

    p51fastone New Member

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    thats the poop shoot. its a one way device.... get him outta there... expecially if it hurts!!!!

    i dont know how anyone can like that!!! its like making love to a dead person or something....
     
  3. Shellen77

    Shellen77 New Member

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    I know it may sound like a no brainer, but relaxing is the key. You definitely have to be able to trust the guy that he won't go too fast or too hard until the pain goes away. Regardless if you do this on a daily basis, it's gonna hurt at first. Just make sure you use lots of lube....lube him up good & have him lube you up a bit too.

    I know it may sound really corny, but if you take some deep breaths & really concentrate on not tightening up while his entering you it doesn't hurt as bad.

    I wish I had more advice, but that's what has worked for me in the past. Good luck & hope this may help you.
     
  4. utahmtnclimber

    utahmtnclimber New Member

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    One thing to try would be to go buy a few smaller dildos or butt plugs of various sizes starting with a very small one and ending with one almost as big or as big as your lover's penis. Practice inserting with the smallest one using plenty of lube and going very slowly. Once you can relax enough so you feel comfortable with the smallest size, start trying to use a slightly bigger one. As you become accustomed to each dildo, you can then try the next size in order. Work your way up gradually until you are ready to accomodate your lover's size.

    Don't feel you have to do this all in one night either. Take it very slowly. Anal stimulation can be very enjoyable, but you have to be very careful to take it very easy.
     
  5. sexynzgirl

    sexynzgirl New Member

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    Anal sex is fefinately worth doing properly with relaxing etc if you are completely happy to do it as it isn't for everyone. My boyfriend has givin me anal before with me lying on my back and him in front of me penetrating me slowly while I masturbated, somehow playing with my clitoris helps me to relax and get really horny about what I'm about to get up to :D takes practice though and for the man to try and enter before he is completely hard but hard enough to get in otherwise it can be a bit of a tighter fit than usual.

    If you do try again, I suggest a lube that has some staying power. Vaseline is great if you aren't worried about STD's as it breaks down the rubber in condoms causing them to break but for me in a monogomous relationship and not using condoms this works fine :D
     
  6. WickedBeauty

    WickedBeauty New Member

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    Relax and lube up properly. If you don't have something to make it slide in easier, it will hurt more.

    If that doesn't work, then anal might not be for you. It's a love or hate kinda thing, so either you like it or you don't.
     
  7. Tommys_hot

    Tommys_hot New Member

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    Anal play for beginners

    Disclaimer: I am NOT a doctor and I do NOT play one on TV. This is the way *I* learned how to discover anal play. As usual care needs to be practiced. GO VERY SLOWLY.

    First start off with a TRIMMED index finger. You may even want to put on a latex glove first to help make it even smoother. Use KY or the drug store brand of KY and lube the finger well. Place it VERY GENTLY near the anus and lightly circle the hole with the finger. DON'T INSERT YET. Just circle it for a few minutes. After a few minutes without insert, just put the finger over the anus and gently press a bit without entering. Just apply a bit of pressure.
    Do this over and over a few times and after a few minutes SLOWLY begin to insert JUST THE FINGER *TIP* in about a quarter of an inch then take it out. Do this a few times then go a LITTLE further in. Repeat this until you have you whole finger in. DO NOT FORCE IT, IF HE OR SHE OR YOU SAYS STOP, STOP!

    Within a week or so of trying this the person should be fairly used to the finger and inserting and pumping it in and out should become easy. Also try moving the finger around while inserted, back & forth,etc. Orgasms ARE VERY VERY INTENSE when you leave your finger or butt plug or dildo in.

    Soon you will want to try something slightly bigger than your finger. Try your middle finger or graduate to a SMALL butt plug. Same rules apply to the new toy as did with the finger. Start off using the finger as usual then after getting loose begin with the plug.
    Plugs have flared bottoms to prevent them from going all the way in. If you graduate to dildos later get ones with a flared base or ones that have the balls at the bottom. This prevents them from slipping all the way in. You don't need a trip to the ER to retrieve it, that would SUCK!
    After a while you will become very used to anal play and you won't need much time to prep for your session. You'll loosen up very quickly after you learn how to relax your anal muscles. It takes me less than 5 minutes to go from start to riding a 10 inch silicon dildo like a bucking bronco! GITTYUP LITTLE DOGGIE!
     
  8. touchzing

    touchzing New Member

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    The first thing is, decide if you want to learn to enjoy anal sex. If not, tell him your not interested. If you want to learn to enjoy it the suggestions listed above seem great to me. I have found even though I use a dildo and play anally on my own frequently having anal sex is different and takes extra relaxation and a patient partner.
     
  9. lancer674

    lancer674 New Member

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    All the suggestions above sound like a sure bet if you're wanting to enjoy anal. My gf was really against the idea of anal at first, so I didn't preasure her because if there's one thing you can't preasure someone into it's anal because relaxation is key along with "wanting" to enjoy it. After I planted that "seed" with my gf she indicated that she was interested in trying. The idea of warming her up with a finger is great, that's what we did. But at first what we did was incorporated it into our sexual encounters by using what they call a "wand". It's like a dildo but thin like a finger and she put that in and I would play with it as I would penatrate her from behind. So, while we continued to have vaginal sex she got used to having objects in her anus. We also use beads, which is a whole lot of fun too. This activity is exciting and gratifying all in it's self, she then became very relaxed about anal because she enjoyed that so much. From that point on attempting anal was a very casual thing that she enjoys. What works for me is to let her know that I am intersted in anal and that evening or the next day or so when she is into it she lets me know.
     
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