An age old question revisited

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by greenmallard, Nov 2, 2008.

  1. greenmallard

    greenmallard New Member

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    Hi all, I'm a virgin and I have a question which a lot of guys probably have before their first time.

    I've seen some erotica and masturbated, but I'm not able to go on as long as the guys in the movie. In fact, when I feel that "the end is near", I have to completely stop in order to settle down if I want to go longer.

    But with a girl, wouldn't this repeated stopping ruin it for her? I don't want my first time to be a disaster - please help. Thanks!
     
  2. ccjcool

    ccjcool New Member

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    First off, porn is not an acurate depiction of how long it takes AT ALL. Now...with that out of the way...

    Masturbation and the real deal are different beasts entirely. When I get myself off, I can easily cum in a matter of a few minutes...but when I have sex I last anywhere from 10-15 usually. And believe me...you can cause a woman can orgasm many times within that period, lol. Also...stopping during sex doesnt necessarily mean a bad thing...gives you opportunity to change positions, a chance to have some non-penetrative fun... And of course before you even get to actual penetration, theres going to be some foreplay involved to get both of you ready.

    When you have your first time, just relax. It would not be surprising in the least if you dont last long...its ok! Assuming you're with a caring woman that you know and are likely in a solid relationship with, she will understand! It just means go for some different sexual fun until you're hard again...and I promise you you will last longer for round 2!
     
  3. Rocket Queen

    Rocket Queen New Member

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    Fantastic advice ccjcool :D

    Green, please don't watch porn to get a reflection of what sex is really like. They stop and start more times than an average person, they have fluffers to keep them hard in between takes etc etc Porn is so removed from real life.

    I wouldn't expect you to go for very long, but that just means that round two will go for a little longer, oh and I love it when my husband tells me to stop moving or when he has to stop so he doesn't cum, it means that he is really enjoying it and is being unselfish by trying to last longer in order to increase my pleasure.

    Maybe if you feel yourself wanting to cum you can pull out and go down on your lady... concentrating on her needs will most likely make you last that little bit longer :D
     
  4. greenmallard

    greenmallard New Member

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    Good advice Rocket Queen. I was wondering what was best to keep her approaching orgasm if I were to pull out to stay longer. Should I finger her or just lick her clit or both?

    And you're not frustrated when your husband stops as your getting close? :)
     
  5. Rocket Queen

    Rocket Queen New Member

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    You could do what ever feels great at the time..... I like going back to basics and kissing and grinding my pussy on his thigh mid way through penetration.... it builds it all back up again.

    ummmm it's a strange feeling... I feel frustrated because he has stopped, but more happy that he is trying to hold off so we can cum together. I guess I realise if he decided to cum when it felt good for him and not wait for me then the sex would be over pretty quickly and I wouldn't get a chance to cum. Frustration is a tool that can be used wonderfully if used by the right person..... when I'm teased I get frustrated... but I love it! does that make sense or am I babbling.
     
  6. greenmallard

    greenmallard New Member

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    Is this because you're using a condom? I heard condoms can make you last longer.


    Rocket Queen, I understand what you're saying. What if when he pulled out, he went down on you and fingered you right away - would that keep things going and bring you to orgasm?
     
  7. igor

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    Don't give the guy the false impression that all women orgasm during intercourse. Many do not.

    Greenmallard - You will find out over time what does it for her.
     
  8. FlirtyChick

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    Answer of the week! :phat
     
  9. FlirtyChick

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    Both! :)
     
  10. ccjcool

    ccjcool New Member

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    This is true...though i do tend to forget this at times since ive never had to worry about it.

    Actually, no. The last time I used a condom, not only did i last longer...i had to finish myself off because I just couldnt cum through intercourse. Talk about blue balls...i had gone for over half an hour before I "gave up". (it wasnt one of my most positive sexual encounters...)
     
  11. FlirtyChick

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    I have found that condoms do hinder things quite a bit. But, alas, they are necessary in many sexual situations.....And women learn to orgasm everytime with experience. It really has no basis on how good or bad her lover is, but the feelings that go with it. At least in my experience. I can get off on a short screw or a long fuck. Doesn't matter. Foreplay is key, key, key. But there are times when you just want a quickie and get off hard!
     
  12. Joe

    Joe
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    Your best bet would be to give her oral sex until she orgasms, then penetrate. That way, if you get off too quickly, at least you'll both have had your orgasms.
     
  13. greenmallard

    greenmallard New Member

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    How do I get her off hard on a quickie if there's no time for foreplay?
     
  14. Rocket Queen

    Rocket Queen New Member

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    I generally only orgasm during foreplay, so I would prefer that we stop start etc

    A quickie is usually done because you have limited time or are somewhere where you may get caught and the excitement of a quickie is generally good enough to get you off...... also you normally have had some verbal foreplay which can be as good, if not better, than physical foreplay.
     
  15. greenmallard

    greenmallard New Member

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    Ok I see. Sounds like foreplay is pretty important. What are good things to do during foreplay?
     
  16. ccjcool

    ccjcool New Member

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    Foreplay is VERY VERY important...for me and my fiancee it usually involves some cuddling before hand, playing with her hair, me nibbling on her ear (ive made her orgasm just doing that, lol), exploring each other's bodies with our hands...etc, eventually leading up to us touching each other's intimate bodyparts, oral, and once we're both worked up, she usually pulls me atop of her. And throughout the whole thing, start to finish, there is of course a verbal element to intimacy as well..."sweet nothings", inuendo, saying how much we love each other...it all plays a part into getting us ready to go at it like rabbits.

    I'll let the ladies of the board explain more about foreplay...they're of course better at that kinda stuff ;) And for good reason!
     
  17. rugbylad82

    rugbylad82 New Member

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    bear in mind that some women physically cannot cum through sex alone and some women never cum while having sex foreplay becomes even more important.

    My advice the first few times, is just have fun do what comes naturally (pardon the pun) and dont try too hard, if you try too hard it just makes it worse. No one expects you to make the girl cum 57 times the first time you touch her. So just take it easy and relax, talk to her before hand during and after (do not take notes) askl her what she likes what she doesnt like. Dont be offended if she moves your hand or anything like that, just do what she likes, once you know what you are doing you can start experimenting. If you plan to be with her more than once or twice pay attention to what she does throughout, breathing dody changes movements etc this will give you an idea of how close she is and you will remeber what to do at these times from previous times.

    There may seem like lots of things to do and there is, but belive me all this thinking will be good a first cause it will help you to concentrate on something other than the fact you are about to have sex for the first time and might help stop you from blowing your load after a second or 2. On that note make sure you masturbate beforehand if you know its coming.

    On a final note all this stuff will come naturally (damn im on fire with the sex puns) with time. In this case practice literally does make perfect.

    Also never forget EVERY woman is different.
     
  18. ccjcool

    ccjcool New Member

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    Oh, and just to add to what rugbylad just said...dont OVERthink things either....the most important thing you can do is just relax and do what comes naturally, as rugbylad said.
     
  19. greenmallard

    greenmallard New Member

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    I see that a lot of people are saying that some women don't orgasm during sex. Does that still make sex enjoyable? I'd feel like I'm not doing anything worthwhile if the girl isn't ever going to get to orgasm.
     
  20. Joe

    Joe
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    I'd say MOST women don't orgasm from intercourse alone, but most will from oral stimulation. It also has a little to do with experience. Some learn to orgasm from different stimuli in time. (Men can too.)

    Please keep in mind, it's often not getting to the destination that's the most fun, but the journey itself. Just as a drive through the country can be nice without going to a particular place, sex can be nice without reaching an orgasm. But it's a damned nice frosting on the cake, which is why I strongly suggest you give oral-genital stimulation before intercourse. Master that and your gal isn't likely to be disappointed in anything else you do. :brow