My wife and I we are in our mid forties with two teenage sons. We only have sex about once a month on average. Sometimes she will pleasure me with her hand in between. When we do have sex she usually prefaces it with "Ok let get it over with" "don't get crazy" "make it fast or something like that. Every few months we have a blast and and the sex is really good so I know that if she gives me half a chance I can please her and give her an orgasm. She has said things to me like "sometimes I feel like it and sometimes I don't. Please don't get mad at me when I don't." I have suggested lovemaking I have tried politely asking, cuddling, giving a massage, and many other ways mostly without success. i have tried asking a lot and I have tried not asking at all. I have tried scheduling romantic weekends and I have tried to be spontaneous. The other day we were discussing our plans for the rest of the day. Our boys were out so I said in the most non agressive manner I could muster, "if you want, we could go upstairs and fool around or just cuddle but if you don't want to that's ok" Her response was "don't pressure me." Can someone tell me how I can express my desires without make her feel pressured?