am I normal?

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by toby, Dec 15, 2003.

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  1. toby

    toby New Member

    Dec 15, 2003
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    My wife an I married a few months ago.
    If it were up to me, we'd have sex every day, or every other day. The first few weeks were great...but now she doesnt want to do it so often.
    She has explained that if she only does it to satisfy me, she feels like she's 'prostituting herself'.
    She also says I have an overactive libido, because sometimes I like to masturbate once or twice every day when we don't have sex.
    What's normal? I've heard having sex 3 times a week.
  2. wholetmydawgout

    Aug 3, 2003
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    Hi Toby,
    Dude, you're perfectly normal - I believe the number of times couple engage in sex per week is about 3-4. I will write a more detailed response soon but this sounds like the unfortunate case of "sex only after marriage" - *sorry* - give us a little background about yourself and your wife (religous and cultural esp.). This way we can better discuss what's happening.
    At the same time, do recognize that perhaps you are far more hornier than your wife is and that perhaps using the hand once in a while ain't so bad.
    Also, does she enjoy the sex i.e. does she orgasm often? A bit more about her perspective will help us get deeper into this.
    Hope you write back.
    A :)
  3. Logger

    Gold Member

    Dec 6, 2003
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    Unequal Drives

    Dear Toby,

    Your deisre for more frequncy than your wife's desires is common. Also, women are more receptive at different parts of the day, and sleeping and waking cycles.

    The question is not whether you are normal, or 66th percentile or 98th percentile, the question is what are your options now? What is the best option among your choices?

    One of your options is to increase you skills in arrousal for your wife. What do you know about erotic massage? Do you have any massage instruction videos? has a nice instruction video.

    Is your wife opposed to errotic videos in the martial bedroom? Do they help her?

    Are there techniques that your wife will participate with, and get you off?

    Reasons for not going around unsatiated is it is bad for prostrate gland health, and it is best to be satiated when faced with the temptation for infidelity. My pants bulge out in public if I have not squirted for a while, a little embarrassing.

    What does your wife think the similarities and differences are, between a wife and a prostitute?

    Yours and your wife's ideas about marriage was probably that each of you would be able to have sex whenever you desired. Now you realize those times do not coincide.

    My wife and I have worked out a number of compromises, that allow me to proceed with a loving feeling from my wife, when her deisres are not fully ready. Some women can carry over foreplay for several days.

    Have you talked to the husbands of her girl firends? What do they think? How is yours and her realtoinship with her father?

    It is true that some women do not really desire sex more than once a month or so. I had a live-in girl friend who would let me saddle up every morning. I did not realize how lucky I was to have her love.

    Posting is threapeutic

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