Am I insecure or something?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by theaddiction, Sep 15, 2007.

  1. theaddiction

    theaddiction New Member

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    Hello all,

    I'd like to get some advice from your perspectives. I'm 22 years old and I met a girl on the internet over 2 months ago, started e-dating and around late July we decided that I would come and stay with her to see how things go in person. Not sure if I thought this through enough but I decided to give it a try. Bear with me, I give alot of details about my issues.

    I had already told her that I was a newbie to sex, not a virgin, but still like one. She said she didn't care about that, because she likes me (and finds me attractive). After driving 1400 miles to see her and dealing with my car breaking down halfway there, we had sex the first night, I was exhausted but my balls were in pain, I think cause they wanted to have sex so bad. We had alot of foreplay but when I started to have intercourse I came very quickly.

    We argue sometimes, and half of the time it's about my trust issues with her. She has alot of male friends whom she flirts with and only talks to them when I'm not looking at her screen (our computers are next to eachother, we use them all the time haha). She says she's known them longer than me and 'kids around' with them. 3 weeks after being here I was getting paranoid about this and stupidly checked her chat logs to find a particular conversation that took place 1 week after I got here, with her telling someone she wants me to leave by the end of the month, that she doesnt feel compatable with me, and that she'd rather come live with 'him' and fuck him, also told him how quick I am to cum. I was shaking with mixed emotions after reading those logs and I didn't know what to think. I told her the next day that I spied on her and saw those things and she turned it all on me saying "that was before, things are better" and that I should never have gone through her shit, she didn't talk to me for hours after I told her but things started to get better. At this point we had only had sex 2 times, since I got there.

    But, things are getting better and we've had sex 3 more times since then. I WISH WE WOULD FUCK MORE. I have alot of feelings for this girl but I don't know if she returns the feelings as she says she does. Would anyone lie out of thier mind say that they do like you alot, want you to stay with them, and do not like other people like that? For any reason? (All I can think of is does she enjoy me spoiling her with the stuff I buy for her, or is she scared to tell the truth?) Anyways, I hope its the truth that shes been telling me, cause I am scared to get my heart broken again and I don't want to find out that I'm so naive.

    Thanks anyone who can help.
    -Adam
     
  2. Joe

    Joe
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    Yeah, some people will lie, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's lying. If you care for her, try to trust her (with some reserve, considering what you found), and see what happens over the next few weeks or months. I'd probably have left immediately upon finding what you found, but since you didn't and things are "getting better", you may as well see where this takes you.

    What makes me wonder the most is your statement that you only had sex with her twice in the first three weeks. That seems a bit strange. Once the first night and once more in the next three weeks? Usually when I made a trip to meet someone I'd grown close to on the net, we had sex several times the first night, several more times the next day, several more times the next night, etc., etc. And I was 50+ years old at the time!
     
  3. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Sometimes like Joe says people will lie to protect themselves and you from the truth.

    Its hard to tell at times, but Trust is something you should have both ways if you like someone enough.
    If you didnt like them all that much then trust is something you wouldnt have for that person.


    some people like to take the easy way out, and look for anything they can, to use the exit door.


    but what you did was wrong, but aslo what she said was wrong as well.



    Sadly strong friendships should not be easly broken, if they are then perhaps that friendship wasnt as strong as was thought.
     
  4. Halogen

    Halogen New Member

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    Wait..are you just staying with her, or are you living with her?
     
  5. theaddiction

    theaddiction New Member

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    hello.

    well when she gets the hint that my trust for her is not strong, she gets upset about it, so that could be a hint that she wants me to trust her. she spends 95% of her time with me and so she isnt cheating on me, i just want to know she only likes me in that way. im currently staying with her, been here over a month, and i want to stay longer. she says we'll see after her birthday which is in 2 weeks cause she wants to see how thigns go between us.

    we have nto been together that long and only known eachother a couple weeks before we started dating!
     
  6. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    I would be careful about relationships that started from meeting online. From personal experience I have know a few people who met online and only to find things went horribly wrong.

    Sex is one thing and relationships are completely different. Granted you need some time of an attraction to have sex but without a relationship then that attraction will fade.

    Based on your posting it sounds as though she has some issues about being alone. To her having someone is better than not having anyone. She may feel those things that you saw on her chat log but she may have problems telling you that for fear that you will leave her.

    Personally I would not travel 1,400 miles to see someone that I met on the Internet unless they travelled to see me too. In my opinion you are better off dumping her and finding someone who is a bit more emotionally stable.
     
  7. Barbwire

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    WHOA NELLIE! Ok, so you knew her for 2 weeks online, then started e-dating, (I assume you mean cyber sexing), you do this for 2 months then decide to move in with her? DUDE! I wish you were here right now so I could slap some sense into you.

    S-L-O-W down. This isn't some online game anymore, its the real world. You don't know her, she doesn't know you. I suggest you get your own place and date her, get to know each other, then if you still want to, move in together.
     
  8. loveit247

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    Dude, leave. I can't believe you moved in with some girl you don't know!
     
  9. Buffalo204

    Buffalo204 Member

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    I can't believe it either! How did he do that?? They always wanted to move in with ME!! :D