Am I crazy?

Discussion in 'Sexual Fetishes and Fantasies' started by concernedkatie, Sep 10, 2012.

  1. concernedkatie

    concernedkatie New Member

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    I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and we love eachother, however I have this fetish and it is both exciting me and depressing me at the same time.

    Ok, the one thing that drives me wild is to imagine my boyfriend having sex and lusting after another woman. I cum quickly when I fantasize about it. However afterwards I feel very depressed at the thought. :ugh

    I tested the water the first time by watching him kiss another woman passionately and touching through her clothes in front of me. He got really hard and it excited me so much in the moment however the next day, and the days after I felt upset about it, I didn't tell him ofcourse as it was my idea. When we had sex I was so paranoid that he preferred that other woman.

    A few months later I took it to another level, I was horny again and on a night out I suggested the two of us go to a strip club. In my head I knew it wasnt the best idea but I was so fired up and horny at the thought that I ignored it and went ahead. I paid for him to have a lap dance in front of me, we paid a little more for one in a private room. I picked out the most attractive stripper there, and watched as she was grinding her naked body over him. This place was pretty seedy and not run very well, so the usual 'don't touch' rules didn't seem to matter too much when I kept assuring her I'd pay her more (I know I know... this keeps getting worse). I asked her to kiss him passionately and let him play with her a little... she wouldn't allow anything else but she did this. I could tell her was crazy with desire, sucking on her nipples and she rubbed herself on him harder and harder.

    When it ended we left and the sinking feeling started again. I knew I was going to regret this and that the images of them would haunt me but I couldn't control my urges. He was happy and I didn't say anything, because afterall this was all my idea and he was going along with it. It's my fault not his.

    The worst part is, during masturbation I think back to the night we saw that stripped and I get off on it... then when i've gotten back to my senses, I feel depressed, deeply depressed all over again. :ugh

    What is wrong with me? Why can't I control myself and this desire? Why do I do this even though it depresses me? we're both in our early twenties.
     
    #1 concernedkatie, Sep 10, 2012
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2012
  2. Chopper9

    Chopper9 New Member

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    I think my wife is the same as you! Beforehand when we talk about stuff like this we both gets turned on but as soon as we act on it she gets that guilty feeling. I think that you both are a bit unsecure and do not trust enough that it wont affect your relationship and that it is only for sexyal pleasure!!
     
  3. 12barblues

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    If you truly feel this way....you would be the first woman that I have ever heard of, having those feelings. Very common for a man. Extremely rare for a woman. Maybe you are a man trapped in a woman's body?
     
  4. Dragon_Fire

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    I think it's a little more common than you'd expect. I often lay in bed with my partner discussing who'd I imagine him with but when it comes to him actually acting on it, I don't know if I'd handle it.
     
  5. lbushwalker

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    Yep, a relatively quite common fantasy actually.
    My own SO is an extremely jealous person; truly obsessive about that but at the same time she admits fantasising watching me fucking another woman and it gets her steaming hot.
    I believe that almost any strong emotion can be twisted or bent to convey the sometimes opposite reaction. In this case jealousy turned about to incite arousal.
    I guess the analogy would be the wine glass half full still as opposed to half empty already.
    Of course the outcome can result in a hangover in the cold light of day :lol
     
  6. 12barblues

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    Apparently the women I've associated with in my life before I met sluttyfairy were waaaay too uptight.....
     
  7. AGFUNK

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    If you feel really guilty after you have a real person with you both then you should probably stop doing it until you really think about it that you are truly ok with it. Having it as a fantasy is one thing but completely different once you have an actual person there.

    When my husband and I first started having threesomes it worried me that he was going to leave me once he was with another person but once he assured me that he would never leave me those insecurities and worries just went out the window. We can actually enjoy threesomes without jealousy or bad feelings. You should both talk about how you feel after seeing him with someone else. Tell him that it makes you feel guilty and worried that he will leave you.
     
  8. KaiserSoze

    KaiserSoze New Member

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    crazy bitch comes to mind.
     
  9. Chopper9

    Chopper9 New Member

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    My wife and i had a discussion like this last night. She said that she sometimes masterbates with someone else (a man) in mind, but she also tries to immagine me with another woman, but then she cant climax!! I told her that i dont want to be with other woman and i encouraged her thoughts about other men!!! Some like the taste of red wine and others dont! I like the idea of her with other men, and not vise verse!
     
  10. GirlNextDoor

    GirlNextDoor New Member

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    Studies have shown that women are more attracted to a guy when he is in a relationship with an attractive woman.It means he can commit,and if an attractive woman has him,then there must be something good about him.When the same guy becomes single,his attractive level goes down.(this is not what I think,but what the studies I read said)

    My point is,I can see how a woman would fantasize about seeing her man lusted after by another woman...it makes him more attractive.Then you add in a fear factor and the risk taking and it does become sort of like a rush.
    Aside from the fact that women can be visual too and actually SEEING her man making love may be a turn on.

    But as mentioned,doing this fantasy in real life can add all kinds of insecurity issues.Unless you are 100% secure with your looks and your relationship,it is probably not a good idea to act out.

    I have frequently gotten excited thinking of another woman and me sucking my bf off and then me watching him fuck her...but whenever I have seriously thought about it,it made me insane with jealousy and self doubt.
    If I thought for even one second he wanted the other woman more then me I would be devastated.

    Very interesting thread though.And I think the reason this must be considered more of a male fantasy is because women probably don't talk about it much.
     
  11. 12barblues

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    I asked the question on another forum....do women fantasize about their man with another woman....100% said no....Weird ...but some women here seem to do it...Kinda hot....:D
     
  12. lbushwalker

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    Women here tend to say it how it is.......I rest my case your honour.
     
  13. 12barblues

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    Yeah ....but I asked it on lpsg....and they aren't bashful over there either..lol...just odd that I got such a varied response from the two forums. I think one woman ended up saying yes over there...the rest said emphatically NO...
     
  14. Andrea

    Andrea New Member

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    I don't think you are crazy to be hot and cold on this idea. I used to fantasise about my wife (at the time) being with another man, but when I walked in on them, it destroyed me. Shame really, I would have liked to had gotten off on it :/
     
  15. topper

    topper New Member

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    My wife and I shared the same feelings. We originally met on a double date. I used to date her friend and we would go to the Drive In. She and I had both watched each other kissing and having sex with our partners and even acknowledged each other with smiles and eye contact as we were doing it. We both admitted that it was hot seeing the other have sex. We never did it with anyone else after we got together. One time on our boat, I was sleeping in the bed and there was a party going on across the marina. My wife sent two women to wake me, seductivaly. My wife stood in the hatchway while the girls got next to me in the bed and started to kiss me and rub against me and getting me hard. . As I woke, I didn't realize what was happening. I sat up quick and banged my head into the bulkhead. My wife thought it was funny at the time and we all went back to the party. Later on, my wife told me that she thought it was hot seeing the girls teasing me like that. She told me that they all noticed my big erection before I woke.
     
  16. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    Do you think if you hadn't banged your head....your wife would have let them finish?
     
  17. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    I would have put this up there but it's to long....

    Three years ago we had a party at our place on the river.....band....dj...the works.....maybe about 60 people showed up.....they where everywhere....in boats, on the pier dancing or in the house.....anyway...after the party (5am) a few friends are setting around talking....a single friend ask if anybody saw these two girls, they had asked him if he wanted to have sex with them.....they had also asked a few others, my husband looks at him and says are you joking? They asked me the same thing....I thought my wife (me) was setting me up and I told them "Hell NO" and I made them leave.......lol....I told him, he had lost out on his only change of a threesome.....
     
  18. justaniceguy

    justaniceguy Member

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    this is an interesting 1......As I always imagined seeing my wife with another man, it never entered my mind that maybe she might have a fantasy of seeing me with another woman......MMMMM......My wife and I try to be open about our sexual orientation but we are not as open as I would like it to be......After me asking her what she thought about me seeing her with another man and quite frankly placing me in the dog house for a day after saying this to her......She asked me the other day wud I go with another woman!!!!......I obviously said NO in fear of saying the wrong thing and being banged up for a week in the DOG HOUSE.......Is she getting at something here? or am I asking for a bruising by saying yer, id go with another woman in front of her!
     
  19. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    If she put you in the dog house about her being with another guy.....I would think she might get even more upset knowing you want to be with another woman....I would feel her out first.....maybe make a joke or soemthing.....see ow she reacts......you don't want her to feel like she isn't enough for you or that she doesn't make you happy.....that will only cause problems......and might put distance between you sexually......
     
  20. justaniceguy

    justaniceguy Member

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    thanx for that advice BitchN.......the tactile NOT person I am lol