am I being silly?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by velkov, Mar 6, 2008.

  1. velkov

    velkov New Member

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    Ok problem is when I first met my wife she could not get enough of me but 15 years on its always me who has to start things. Does it matter to you guys and gals who makes the first move? If I don't start the ball rolling she'd be happy to just turn over and go to sleep. We had a talk about it and she swears that its 50/50 but I tell her its not so proberly for a month its 50/50 but then goes back to same old thing. Now I feel like I'm doing it just for me but once the ball starts rolling she responds. Things have been like this for the past 7 years and its been bugging me but I had no one to really talk to about it till now. I know that people change as time goes on but i really want to turn the clock back 15 years, funny though I find my wife more and more attractive as the years go on and just can't seem to keep my hands off her, I mean like if shes just standing say in the kitchen I just have to hug her and kiss her I proberly do that a hundred times a day, whenever I go pass her I just have to hug her and tell her how sexy she is and how much I love her.
    Apart from that I would say shes perfect so am I just being silly?
     
  2. slamd097

    slamd097 New Member

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    welcome to being married....I feel the same way. I decided to make a deal with my wife. I told her that I was not going to say or do anything regarding sex. I told her that everything was going to be in her hands, and that she was welcome anytime to engage everything. After a month later, I re approached her again, and pointed out that it has been a month, and that she was responsible for this. I then pointed out that because I did not make the advances our sex life dropped off. I then Told her I was going to go back to the old way. Eventually we had sex, but it took another week. I did explain to her that we needed to to step it up or things were not going to work out.....it isnt everything in a relationship, but it is the part that is shared between the loved ones..
     
  3. velkov

    velkov New Member

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    I agree with you that it isnt everything in a relationship, and like I said apart from that she is really perfect, however i'm not and so proberly i'm just being petty :ugh
     
  4. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    YES! Permission to speak candidly? (I'm assuming a default "yes" since you posted it on this forum! ;)) Do you know how many guys I hear each week who bitch and moan that they don't get ANY sex from their wives? (And after listening to them multiple times and observing how they interact with their wives in normal situations, I can understand why they don't get any nookie.) Dude, count your blessings...who cares who starts it as long as it starts!

    If you feel like everything else about her and the relationship is *perfect*, for goodness sake, don't even think of creating tension over something as minor as this!

    And by the way...I think everyone of us probably wishes we could go back 15 years (AND keep what we know now!)

    I always say "If you want someone to do something for you, then make it easy for them." You want her to initiate sex? Don't nag her about it. (I detest being nagged, and I detest nagging other people.) Instead, give her a burning desire to initiate sex. Do something that will make her want to just fuck your brains out. Call her up out of nowhere and talk dirty to her. Ping her on an instant messenger and walk her through instructions to masturbate while she's at work. Send her an email that spawns some sexual fantasy that you know she'll like. Hide kinky or romantic love notes in places where she'll find them later. Let her come home to a surprise candlelight dinner. Sneak around and secretly do some project that you know she wants done or has been asking for help with (and leave a kinky note for her to find when she discovers it). Use your imagination...you know what will turn her on! Do something that will *lubricate her mind* all day and make her want to pounce on you the minute she gets in the door!

    HTH and good luck with it!
    BD
     
  5. velkov

    velkov New Member

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    I've never nagged my for sex or anything for that matter like I said once I start the ball rolling she responds, I know I started the thread by calling it a problem but I was not complaining I just wanted to know if anyone else has the same feeling about it.
    I give thanks for my wife everyday and I tell her how much she means to me everyday I think its just one of those things where you know your being an ass but just need someone to tell you.
    Anyway I better go and start the ball rolling :eek:utahere