Am I a Lesbian yet?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by kbate, Jan 24, 2005.

  1. kbate

    kbate New Member

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    Is a woman who has exclusively dated other women for 7 months a lesbian? I used to date men, but lately the idea just turns me off. How long until I lose the "bisexual" label and move into the "lesbian" group?
     
  2. Logger

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    Dear Kbate,

    Can there be phases in our lives, whrfe we do or become different things at different times?

    There is a fairly good thread on Deep Throat techniques on this board. I don't recall a good instructional, DO's and DON'Ts for applying the tounge to the clitoris, vulva and vagina of a woman.

    On the Tantric Massage DVD, there was a technique of touching one lip of he vagina, one side, between the thumb and forfinger. Then run the soft pressure ob th elight squeeze of hte thumb and forfinger up and down the lip ov the vagina. Moving up and down an that side, then switching to the other side of the vagina.

    I have used my index finger curled around the clitoris, well lubricated, and barely moving, as I pump my penis in her vagina, from the side.

    I sometimes use a nasal spray bottle and paper towel, to get any last hint of urine from the sides of the clitoris.

    I thought it would be good to have my tounge act like a penis, and go up the vagina, but I have not had much success with that approach.

    I have jacked off while trying to keep my tounge next to the clitoris, moving only to the extend of the motion of my masturbation.

    What do you think feels good, better and best? Is there a sequence of start, middle and finish?

    Blessings
     
  3. kbate

    kbate New Member

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    I could post a lengthy dialogue on the perfect technique for giving a blowjob, I worked diligently on that very subject for quite some time however I no longer have plans to give another blowjob.

    Clitoral stimulation on the other hand is of great interest to me. I have not watched the Tantric Massage DVD, nor any other type of sexual aid media. What I do have is a little experience with both sides of clitoral stimulation.

    Depending on the woman, and it varies greatly the clitoris may be the most sensitive piece flesh on the planet. Most users tend to jump right into the endgame avoiding the entire first half of the game.

    A good start. tracing your fingers up and down over her hips, legs, stomach and arms is a good start. I stimulates the skin and starts her "anticipaton factor."

    Lightly blow air on the pubic hair (if any -- if doing me skip this step). trace your fingers up and down the labia. part her slightly with your finger and work it inside slowly, this will start her juices flowing.

    kiss and lick her body, not just her pussy, every thing. Lightly bite her nipples and her navel. Keep those fingers moving , one just inside her. the others moving around lightly on her skin...

    rub her clit lightly with a finger tip. normally you will have some effort to get it exposed but don't worry.....

    Lick her lips, up and down.. Slip your tongue just in and move it around.....
    (its not big and hard enough to replace a penis, so don't try)

    move upward and lick her clit once or twice... just touch it with your tongue.

    When you can find it easily ( after it swells) you can begin to regularly flick it aournd with your tongue. just tips, your tip, its tip.....

    Rub your hand lightly just above her vagina, putting slight downward pressure...
    Keep doing this.

    if /when she starts responding, just keep licking and sucking her clit, side to side and with small circles.... the tip is the trick,


    when you get a little tired, switch to your hand,, keep moving it on the tip and around in circles,,,,, keep sliding a finger into her every now and then...

    There is no one secret technique that will work on every woman...
    you have to experiment, ( I don't mind being a test subject )

    peace and blessings...
     
  4. Logger

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    Dear Kbate,

    So a tounge on the side of the clit is not much feeling for you?

    So a tounge trying to go up the vagina does not do much for you either?

    Everything is just foreplay, until the tip of the tough is gently caressing the tip of the clit?

    Are there any stages between kissing your pubic mound and other areas surrounding the vagina, that you could identify as steps, on some occasions?

    How do you like to relate to horses? I enjoy the challenge of trying to get a horse ot go where I want to go. I have ridden horses for hire in an open farm setting. Each horse has some things that are easy, and some thing where I have to get a running start, or I end up in a stop mode. Female horses seem to have a distinctly teasing, playful approach to interaction.

    What are your ideas about reproducing your blue eyes? What do you feel about children? Have you developed a distaste for men? Or do you simply prefer women, given the choice.

    Thans for he exhilerating interchange.

    Blessings.
     
  5. kbate

    kbate New Member

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    hi logger,

    Licking the side is good, flicking it is good, and touching the tip is good. I don't have a large protruding organ. You would find it difficult to lick sides (except some days).

    It is all foreplay, the object is to bring the female to a state of arousal where every little touch shoots intense feelings through her body, then to keep her there for about ten minutes or until she has no choice but to yell "stop."

    There is nowhere you should not kiss. I enjoy having hands run all over me. I also like air blowing over my skin and extremely light touches. If you (or her) have long hair, playing it over my body is good. The light touch seems to sensitize the skin and leads to good feelings.

    As far as horses, I have owned several race horses. I ride foxhunters and sometimes I ride in "pairs chase" races. I usually ride geldings. 90% or more. Mares can be pains in the ass to ride as they are sometimes bossy.

    My eyes are actually a green/brown... reproducing them? I got them from my grandmother, so it is possible. Children.. I suppose I would love to raise a child, but not now (and I don't know when) due to life complications and social stigma.

    Distaste for men? No, I just found a wonderful woman, we fell in love and it works. I would consider a man if this relationship ends, but I won't be dating anyone else while we are together. I don't and won't date couples, I only date one person at a time and I don't care if he is a she/she is a he/whatever. :)

    tks..for being.
     
  6. Logger

    Gold Member

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    Dear Kbate,

    Being a Lesbian may be more comfortable for you, since you are in love with a woman, and trying to maintain a monogomous relationship. Whether you are able to open up to men, if your relationship ends or changes, will determine whther you have actually become a Lesbian. I would define a lesbian as a woman who strongly prefers to make love to a woman, and has little or no desire for men. But there is a lebian life style also. This means identifying with the difficulties that other lebians face, and political issues such a gay marriage, religion, such as the Meropolitan Church, and so there is a social element to being a Lesbian.

    Have you become engaged in the religious and political aspects of being a Lesbian? How much would you have to change now, if you suddenly fell in love with a man? What are the trends you see for your lifestyle changes in the future? Is it possible to live your love with your woman, and not make significant changes in your life style?

    So are your eyes specks of green and specks of brown? I had a girl friend once who had green eyes, with specks of yellow and specks of blue. Do you have any specks of yellow?

    Blessings
     
  7. kbate

    kbate New Member

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    my eyes are greenish/brownish really hideous, sort of reptilian...


    I don't get involved in the Gay/Lesbian politics. I see no benefit in being able to pay the government for a marriage license, pay taxes with a marriage penalty, and to be able to be legally unaccepted by the government.

    If you knew me better, you would know I have had many men for lovers in the past. I have only been with a few women, so the changes wouldn't be that great. I suppose if I had a man here instead of a woman, the main change would be in the amount of cleaning I had to do... :)
     
  8. Logger

    Gold Member

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    That's what I was talking about.

    Yellow pigment segments toward the pupil, and blue colored segments towards the outer edge of the color, and bordered in a brown ring. Very nice. People who have just one color for all color segments of their eyes do not appear as intense as us with multi-color segments. I was enchanted with my ex-girlfriend's eyes, because they are similar to mine. I think brown hair and green eyes is neat. Of course, I now have a touch of silver.

    Apparently we are in disagreement about your eyes, because I find them fascinating. Wish I could boost your ego by having you like your eyes.

    But you have not talked about pleasing your partner. Do you talk about your partner, or do you prefer to keep her private?

    So you don't care for horses, you just ride them at events? If I wanted to go on a Fox Hunt, who would I contact to get a horse to ride? Did you ever play polo?

    Blessings
     
  9. kbate

    kbate New Member

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    i'll respond in pm for this to keep forum clear of clutter....
     
  10. Frank Grimes

    Frank Grimes New Member

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    "Am I a lesbian yet?"

    The answer I usually give to this question is: Have sex with me, and if you don't enjoy it, you're a lesbian."

    J/K

    I've heard many people say that whether they're straight or bi is a state of mind, and it sounds like with you, too.
     
  11. kbate

    kbate New Member

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    I like you. I think I would like to come to your house and perform this experiment. Do you think your wife would mind?

    J/K

    :brow
     
  12. Frank Grimes

    Frank Grimes New Member

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    Just kidding that you like me? :(
     
  13. MEG

    MEG New Member

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    Do you really think it's necessary to label yourself? I mean, you could get shirts made that say something like "I'm a Dyke", or maybe something more subtle like "I don't do guys anymore". :eyes

    Stop worrying so much about what you are, and just be who you are. Pretty soon you won't need the shirts, er labels any more..... *kiss*

    MEG
     
  14. kbate

    kbate New Member

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    Um, i'm not exactly worried about labels and titles, Look at the Quotes in my original post. I started this thread to talk about being "labeled."

    lI do happen to refer to my self and my sexual preference as "lesbian" not as "A lesbian," the label is my description, not my identity. It is the same as saying I'm skinny or I'm fat when used to describe oneself rather than to categorize..
     
  15. MEG

    MEG New Member

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    OK, I see where you're coming from. I used to try to label myself with regard to my sexual prefs (before I realized it serves no useful purpose). Guess maybe I assumed we were sorta in the same boat.....

    Also, I might've been drawing on a relationship of my own with a former co-worker. It was (not so subtly) rumored that she was a lesbian. It was one of those little things that I had casually wondered about, but that didn't change anything as far as who she was (and is) to me..... Not that I was "in love" with her, but I do love and admire her very much. Once upon a time when I was trying to define how I felt about her, she says to me; "You know what I am, right?" I cut her off in mid-sentence and told her it didn't matter what she was, and that that was her business, but that I loved her for WHO she was..... It was a magical moment for the both of us. I could also tell that she suspected that I was a queer of some sort, but I never really came right out and told her... Takes one to know one, right? :D

    M.