Age Difference

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by longnstrong, Sep 3, 2007.

  1. longnstrong

    longnstrong New Member

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    I am going out with a girl that just turn 18. I am almost a decade older then her. I was not looking to go out with a girl that was 18, i was not waiting out side of a high school. But i dont fully understand what is wrong with it. I know and i dont want guys imparticular to go out with girls of a certain age. But i am not sure what that age really should be morally. I will, do and try to go by the law. And even if the the age changed to 16 i would not make a major attempt at going after girls at that age. And i know for a fact i do not want to go out with a girl that is younger then 16 even if she comes on to me.

    So here is what i am trying to get at. What is wrong with a person of my age going out with an 18 yr old. I know it is legal but morally or just tangibly why should i not be doing this. I am the youngest of the family, cause of work i have few younger or older then me so i dont have a point of reference. I dont see how an 18 yr girl is innocent or how her going out with a teenage guy is better then going out with me.

    I know we dont have allot in common but that is part of what we like about each other. I dont think that neither of our parents are going to like this either. And even if i were to go into the fututer and met her when we were both the same age we would not have that much in common.

    I dont understand the idea behind maturity either, i dont know why enmaturity is a bad nor do i see me or any of my old friends being any more or less mature then what they were when they were 15-17.

    I guess part of the problem is that i (and some of my friends) were a pretty serious people since i was 12 and because of that i find it hard to see how i am taking advantage of an 18 yr old.

    Basically i dont see how i am going to be able to hurt her any more or less then an 18 yr old male. I care about her i want to fuck her, i dont want to hurt her, and i doubt that the relationship is going to last more then a few months or may be even a few years. So it is the same as many relationships i have been in. Where is the probelm in my thinking.
     
  2. evman

    evman New Member

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    To me it sounds like you are nothing more than physically attracted to her. If you have nothing in common you will most likely tire of one another. You say yourself that it will only last a few months so what is the point? Are you looking for a relationship, someoneto keep you from being alone or just for sex?
     
  3. Hero0fDaHouse

    Hero0fDaHouse New Member

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    hmmm... i'm 19 and i'm already kind of turned off by a girl still being in high school. i'm sometimes into college girls around my age and sometimes into women in their late 20s and 30s.
     
  4. morningwood

    morningwood New Member

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    My wife is 20 years younger than me. Its never worried us or anyone else!
     
  5. longnstrong

    longnstrong New Member

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    She is not in high school. And we have simular interest, the whole idea that you have to have allot in common or have to complete each other is a myth.

    The reason why i dont think it is going to last for ever cause i refuse to force any relationship to last for ever. She seems to feel the same way she doesnt want kids, she never planning on marring and, shell we say, she doesnt need me in her life everyday.

    It is not a conventional conservative relationship either she sort of likes girls and would not mind if i went out with them. Basicly what it sounds like to me is that she is kind of finding her self and experimenting. I understand this so i am going to give her the freedom to do so and i am not going to fight to force her into a more predictable one. So the best i can expect to do is a few years with allot of forgiveness i guess. But at the same time their are certain things that she can do that i will not tolerate for very long, so it is up in the air.

    I dont really want nor do i expect to ever be in a long term relationship, i do enjoy the feeling of love and trust but the need to continue something just because, is not part of my nor apparently her priority list system, yet.

    The situation is pretty complicated. This thing could last a life time depending on how things developed.
     
  6. Buffalo204

    Buffalo204 Member

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    At 30 I started living with a 19 year old that became my first wife. Two children and 14 years later we divorced. She died right after 911 at 51 years.
     
  7. emerlyj

    emerlyj New Member

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    My first boyfriend was when i was 18 and he was 28, and my current boyfriend is 33 and i am currently 22. I don't think there is anything wrong with these relationships in general but i can understand why people have an issue with them. At 18 i was fairly naive and trusting and flattered by someone being interested in me. An older man would likely be able to sense this and therefore i was an easy target for being used. Luckily this didn't occur with me but it can happen.
     
  8. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Not been out in real life with a female thats younger than me, i sure would not say no to the idea, mainly i have been out with women that are around 7 to 18 years difference in age than myself.
     
  9. Halogen

    Halogen New Member

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    Really? You're not any more mature than you were when you were fifteen? That in itself is a problem and probably why you're drawn to such a young girl in the first place. You said you're almost a decade older than her. You're what..26? 27? You should have a more mature mentality than a youngster by this point.

    Aside from your apparent lack of maturity...I'm not sure what the point of this thread is? You ask "What's wrong with me dating an 18 year old?" - and when no one objects, aside from the odd question here and there, you immediately whip out a million reasons why it's still okay to date this girl and how they might be wrong. It looks to me like nobody that's posted so far has any slight problem with it. Are you trying to convince us it's okay? Or are you trying to talk YOURSELF into thinking it's okay?
     
  10. longnstrong

    longnstrong New Member

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    Maybe it is cause my definition of maturity is. I was always serious always realistic about things. Never really got into that how i know everything bit that people always accused kids of being. Always thought about the future always put my self into other people's shoes.

    My reply was to a reply that had to do with the type/terms of the relationship. Assuming that others thought that me and her were trying to have the ideal relationship. And also my ideas and my feelings on what a relationship can or should be. None of that second post or the "evman" post that it replied to had anything to do with the age thing it had more to do with what i wanted to get from this relationship.

    When i met her she was in this night club that was 18 enter 21 drink. She was drinking in the 21 section i we dance, we hung a few days later. She told me she was 17 and was going to have a b-day in a 3 days. I found that disturbing but i could not find any good reason to just leave her just cause she was 18 i liked her already. I she did not make a big deal about it. So we moved on.

    Now at the same time i have met talk to a few girls that were happy to meet me talk to me until i told them my age and they were 18-19 range, while i was 24-25. And either them or their friend recoiled, then disappointment, and the conversation died from that point forward. And even i feel weird when i hear a 18 yr old is going with a 26 or something yr old. But at the same time it is i have no problem with a 40yr old and a 50 yr old going out.

    And i thought this was some kind of social taboo apparently i was wrong. But i am still interested in knowing if there are any traits that 18 yr olds have that wont work with someone that is 27?
     
  11. dwj21

    dwj21 New Member

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    well the simple lack of life experience is enough to make a 27 to 18 ratio difficult to work. also, 18 yo are still growing and maturing and figuring themselves out. they know very little about life and adulthood. they cannot go to a bar. i mean there are several reasons why a 27 yo would not want to be with an 18 yo.
     
  12. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Halogen Said
    Right on

    Hiker
     
  13. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Personally I think it is taking advantage of a Woman (Girl)
    She is not old enough to fully resist the lines an older man can hand out.
    I have no objections of 10 years difference in age as long
    as She is old enough to know exactly what She is doing.
    At 18 you are only taking advantage of her, Hell you said you
    wanted to fuck her but didn't want a relationship.

    Hiker
     
  14. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Nothing against your post here , but just wished t osay it all depends which country you live in....in england at 18 your legaly allowed to drink , enter bars/clubs and pubs.

    at 16 your legaly allowed to drink in a social club ( but not allowed to go up to the bar.)


    different age limits for different countries.
    and from what i have heard there are diffrent age limits across America to :)
     
  15. longnstrong

    longnstrong New Member

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    Good point about the life experience thing. But as far as going to the bar i hate drinking she has a ID of a friend that looks like her.

    Figuring themselves out is something I thought everyone is always doing. I am still not sure what makes me happy. And as i said before i dont want the same thing that everyone else wants. I dont want an house or kids that badly. I like traveling, but i also like caring for a person. My problem is since i have rejected what most people in life want i dont know where to go next. But that is another issue.

    She has probably had more life experience then i had. I am saying this cause she has friends has been in at least one really deep relationship and takes way to many chances. I have a extremely hard time getting close to any one and i dont as much have true friends as much as buddies. And for the past 2 years i have been doing little else but work and this is the first of any kind of relationship, friends or sexual that i have had other then the rare one nighters.

    And the things that me and her do have in common are things that i rarely have in common with any one else. The experience thing has not been an issue yet but the thing that does bother me is her drug use (pills, achole) i am not terrified that she is going to O.D. I just think she might have an hard time holding down a job. Not cause she does too much just more so cause she does things that draws the attention of the police allot.

    So maybe the better question is, is there any reason i should try and end this thing now. Be sides the fact that it is not going to last for ever, I cant see how i can hurt the girl. She is probably going to be the one that breaks it off and she has shown little need for me. It has been slightly more then a week since the last time she has seen me. And we average seeing each other once a week.
     
  16. longnstrong

    longnstrong New Member

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    Lines, :D:p Dude if you only knew us. This girl is not innocent, she has done more stuff then i have with girls, from what i understand. And i want to try to fall in love with her it seems like she is the one that just wants to screw me. I like being with the same girl for long periods of time. I have a hard time not believing that she is not taking advantage of me or playing me for something. But i dont look that great or have allot of money.

    I am basically a nice usually boring guy this girl has been arrested a few times and said she has been drinking since 13. I still cant figure out why she likes me it has to do something with my body, and my interest and how funny i am sometimes. I did not seduce this girl. :eek:

    In fact i am pretty sure i am going to get her out of more trouble not put her in more trouble. I mean i met her in the 21 section of a night club cause she had her friends ID.
     
  17. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Females and males have been using fake ids for a long time :)
    When i was her age I had been in a stack of trouble, been behind bars lived on the streets and had already sold my body for cash. so all in all being 18 doesnt mean lack of expereience in life, as it depends what expereinces youve had up to that age.

    Im not defending or attacking here.
    Just pointing out a young age doesnt always mean a narrow expereince in life, same as an older person doesnt always mean a broader expereince in life.

    At 18 I had been and seen things a lot of people wont have their entire lives ( not meaning all people )
     
  18. Halogen

    Halogen New Member

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    If any of this is accurate, you need to beat a hasty exit, regardless of age.

    (though I do find it a bit icky that a 27 year old man is trying to paint himself as your average Joe mixed up with a dirty li'l Lolita that's only out to hurt HIM. Maybe you were on to something when you said you had the maturity of a teenager......)
     
  19. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    AGAIN
    Halogen said
    Halogen I completely agree with you.
    I doubt if he is to the teenager stage yet though.

    Hiker
     
  20. vampire raver

    vampire raver New Member

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    Believe me I was and I am the same way. I have always been more mature than most the people my age and thats why I always hung out with the slightly older crowd.

    So I can completely believe that you are telling the truth.