Age difference

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Hug_It, Oct 3, 2004.

  1. Hug_It

    Hug_It New Member

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    I'm looking for some opinions on relationships where there is a big age difference. I'll try to make the story short.

    I got a new neighbor about a month ago and we ran into eachother when she was moving in. We hit it off right away and there was definate sparks. I've been single going on two years now and I just don't get excited about women all that often so even though she was my neighbor I decided to ask her out to a bar to watch a local band. She said, "I'd love to but I'm not old enough to go to a bar, I'm only 20." I couldn't believe it, she just seems so mature and squared away.

    Anyway we were talking the other day and decided we would go on a date tonight. I'm 32 and she's 20. Sound like disaster in the making? I appreciate the opinions and I'll let you know how it goes.

    Thanks!
     
  2. Fantasies151

    Fantasies151 New Member

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    I've never been involved with that big of a gap.

    But my psychology class went over it the other day....it's a bad idea, because you may have 0 in common....in the age difference you operate on different planes of thought and viewpoints.

    A 20 year old is still "invincible" and in that sorta post-teen stage, whereas you may be a little older, mellower and wiser.

    But compare personalities....hang out, and dont go too far too fast. Thats my suggestion.
     
  3. Shellen77

    Shellen77 New Member

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    I was in a similiar situation a few years ago. When I was 22, I started dating a 37 year old. At first we had things in common, but a lot more that wasn't in common due to the age gap. He would talk about his "high school & college days" back in the 80's & I had just graduated high school a few years before. It wasn't a bad situation by any means, just a little different. We ended up spending 3 1/2 years together & we got along great (other issues came into play & things went sour after that). The only thing that I see different in your situation is the fact that she isn't legal yet (21) & it could hamper your options of doing things together. Plus, she is young & probably is not looking for anything remotely serious. It's amazing how much you grow as a person between the ages of 20 & 25.

    Regardless of your decision, I do with you the best. I hope it works out for the best for both parties involved.
     
  4. sexynzgirl

    sexynzgirl New Member

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    twenty one to drink? Whoa is that really an american law? Its only 18 in new zealand :D anyway, my partner is 10 years older than me and we have our differences but generally i appreciate them rather than finding them a hinderance to our happiness.
     
  5. Ryan

    Ryan Gold Member

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    21 is the age of when you can start drinking here in the US.
     
  6. Hug_It

    Hug_It New Member

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    Thanks for the replies :)

    Well we hung out lastnight and ended up talking for a few hours. I was quite impressed with how mature and grounded she was. I was scared it was going to seem weird but it wasn't at all, infact it was amazingly comfortable. There are exceptions to every rule but I do plan on taking it very slow, so worst case scenario is we end up friends.

    She's fricken' HOT though :brow
     
  7. Jack04

    Jack04 New Member

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    18 in aussi as well yeeeeee haaaaaaaaa
     
  8. lancer674

    lancer674 New Member

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    I know exactly what your are going through. There is a 12 year difference between my gf and I. I met her when she was 19 and didn't give it much thought about us being able to have a relationship. Thought that there would be to much differences, but she pursued me and that was 18 months ago. Now we have a 6 month old daughter and things are going well. Of course there are differences and it always come down to common goals and lifestyles. Age differences can only be a problem if you let it being that there is a problem around the corner waiting for any relationship. Just look at the divorce rate, seems all kind of people don't end up getting along, so to focus on age differences is a choice you have to make. And naturally, it's comical to hear a song that was in my youth and she was like 2 when it was big...we laugh at each other about those kind of things. It helps that her sister's husband is 18 years older then her and her father was 13 years older then her mother. In her household it is not a hang up. So, go with your gut, if you two have common ground and a possibility of creating common goals and a lifestyle, I would say have fun and enjoy yourself.