Advices/question on how to deal with emotions.

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Golden, Sep 23, 2008.

  1. Golden

    Golden New Member

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    The relationship im in has been going on for 5 months now, everything is kind of working well allthough there is certain problems we do have. She has an eating disorder wich is sad, and i swore to her that she can talk to me whenever she needs it. And i am happy that she has opened up to me and can be there for her when she needs it. I couldnt live with myself if i couldnt.

    Allthough, i am also having a bit of my own emotional problems at the same time. Not the same as hers or even close to the stuff that must be going on in her mind, but i am having some.
    I have a really bad self esteem, and i do not understand why she even cares to be with me as i despise the way i look like. I despise my existence from time to time and i have tried to look at this problem from an other view. I snap in and out of short-time ''depressions'' or something. I hate my existence from time to time and sometimes it goes so far it feels like i just want to end it all, but i dont cus of my mother and friends, but lately is has been mainly because of her.

    Before i met her, things was ''better''. But now that i got her, i get hooked up with the past even more and i hate myself for thinking that i am not good enough of for her, allthough she says that she feels the same for me. Sometimes im feeling that i kind of keep her as a ''prisoner'' of freedom, the freedom to meet someone she could have a better life with, that dont have the same fucked up way of thinking that i do.

    I have talked to her about my feelings, but the other day she sayd that it just gets to much for her along with her illness. And i understand that, so she asked if i could let it be wich i offcourse sayd yes to.

    The thing with her is that she is the only person i feel i can talk to, but when my problems get to much for her i dont really know how to handle them. My past has been pretty dark, its just up until the last 5 years it has been better, and the last year has been the best year of my life, but my past is still hunting me.
    I am soon 20 years old, i have moved out, i do not want to get involved with any professional help as it might cause to much shit to my friends and my mother plus a couple of other things you can read in the end of thread.

    Me and my girl love eachother, if everything goes as we have planned we will probably be spending the rest of our days together. Considered the past to both of us and the way we are thinking i believe we will get married, get kids, get old and die together.
    Allthough, if this is not going as we have planned i am afraid of how i will handle it as i barely feel like being alive now and then. Right now, i am feeling great, ive done it for a couple of days, thats why i am making this thread now. Because i know that there will come days again when i am feeling worthless.

    I wont do anything most people consider ''stupid'', but i am hoping that you guys/girls have advices on how to deal with emotions when they get tough. I know ''talking'' is the main source of slowing them down and in the end maybe get writh of them, but the only person i can talk to cant handle it. I dont consider myself as suicidal, but i am afraid that my problems will elevate to the point that i will start hurting myself like some teenage emo-kid that grasps for attention. Allthough that is not my thing at all, i am somehow reaching that point where i dont know how to controll my actions.

    Do any of you got any advices or something that i should follow?

    Please dont mention a shrink or something. I have been to around 5 of them (i did give a couple of them honest attempts on helping me) in my earlier days, ive been been with social workers when i was a kid, special treatment in both home and school/kindergarden. I dont really believe in that system anymore, as i have actually controlled my emotions better bye myself up until now and im sick of being a part of it.
    What i want now, is a way of thinking, a mindstate i can follow, maybe one that i havent thought of. Something i can hold on to. I do not have problem in being social or be around people, i have alot of friends and love partyes, have an girlfriend, and i work.. But i hate everything else and myself included as you might have understood, and sometimes it starts to get serious..

    So... what to do when you've tried everything else?
     
  2. Trixi

    Trixi New Member

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    Most folks are going to tell you to get professional help, of course. Since you've already done that and say you won't do it again, all I can suggest is that you take control. Do something with your life that can make you feel good about yourself. Help others who are less fortunate, take courses in something you love, improve yourself. Your past is the past. Let it go - don't let it control your future. Set realistic goals for your future, work hard, and, meet those goals. Sounds kind of old fashioned and "silly" but it still works.

    P.S. Please reconsider getting professional help. You need someone to talk to.

    P.P.S. Funny story in your sig line. Made me laugh. A sense of humor will get you far. :)
     
  3. rugbylad82

    rugbylad82 New Member

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    Hi

    I think trixi pretty much covered but i would definately urge you to reconsider professional help.

    Also is you SO getting help for her condition as if you feel she can help you if she were to get help for her condition then you could both help each other out better as she wouldnt feel so stressed by what she is going through.

    Its a hard one because emoptional problems have no cure all.

    I do urge both of you to get professional help.
     
  4. spicyred

    spicyred New Member

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    There's also another way that you can at least reach way down inside you and see what the root of your problem is. It's called sentence completion. I've learned it from years ago and let me tell you it's not easy, but it helps if you are honest with yourself. If you are interested, let me know and I will send it to you.. or at least copy it and put it here. Message me when you get a chance and I will help you.

    Spicy
     
  5. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    I know you're very adamant about not seeing a professional, but honestly no one here is qualified to help you. Your depression and your girlfriend's eating disorder are not things that strangers on a sex forum can give you any useful advice about.

    Here's a pretty good forum for mental illnesses and disorders:

    http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php

    Doubtless everyone there will advise you to get professional help as well, but I think it's a more appropriate place for you.
     
  6. FlirtyChick

    Gold Member

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    Nothing further from me except this. You both are in a serious situation. Help yourself...please.
     
  7. Golden

    Golden New Member

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    Ive seeked professional help, actually.. But unfortunately i dont really see what they can help me with as i do not have any reasons to have these fairly fucked up feelings. Everything is perfect, im doing exactly what Trixi is saying. Trying to get a grip of my life; Something to look forward to, realistic goals, i work hard etc. Its not that i let my problems control my future, but i do let them control the presence to the matter that i feel that everything is fucked up. But i am smart enough to not let these kind of shit fuck up things for my future in case it gets solved and i'll regret it later on.

    Ive been taking some blood-tests now, that will get answered next tuesday. It might be some changes in the body, but whatever reasons to what im feeling might be... those feelings are real, and i got to deal with them. Sorry to bother you all with this kind of stuff. But thank you all for taking your time and giving me advices/tips etc. Im going to check out that site Puss_in_Boots.