[Ask a Girl] Advice requested

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by Holiday, Nov 25, 2011.

  1. Holiday

    Holiday New Member

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    I was hoping to figure out most of this myself, but I found myself googling for help without finding many answers or questions similar to my own, so here it goes...

    I just started dating this great gal (22, I'm 23) about two weeks ago. We wanted to start things slow, but that was thrown out the window when she stayed the night last week. Since then we've had sex about 8 times. I've never enjoyed myself with another girl so much before (both socially and in bed): in the past, I've only lasted about 5-10 minutes and became quickly bored... with her I last 30-40 minutes with intercourse after about half an hour of foreplay. It's fantastic, but I've hit a snag in a few places and was hoping for some input.

    (1) "Eating out" -- I would really love to go down on her (huge turn on for me), and she says she likes it, but she feels as if she can't 'contribute' while I'm down there... She loves kissing and caressing to the point that if we aren't doing it, she feels as if I'm doing all the work. I would suggest we do a 69, but I don't really like blowjobs (crazy, I know). Aside from maybe running her fingers through my hair or massaging my shoulders (which she does during sex), is there anything else she could be doing to feel like she's contributing while I'm down there?

    (2) She's a little chubby... It doesn't bother me in the least but she is very self-conscious about it. Consequently the lights are always off, which can make some things a little difficult. Any tips on how to convince her that I appreciate her for who she is as well as her body? I don't need the lights on fully... even the ambient blue light from my clock is something she turns out. She has fantastic, in-shape legs--it's her midsection that she is uneasy about. I've tried caressing her sides during foreplay and sex to reassure her, but I'm worried that's forcing her to think about it rather than simply enjoying it.

    (3) It's tough to admit, but I've gone limp on her already. Despite being able to go for 30-40 minutes, some positions just don't work for me, but she loves them. For instance, so far her favorite position is with us sitting together on the bed with her swiveling and grinding on me while I massage her clit. I absolutely love that it really gets her off, but the problem is that without any kind of in/out motion, my cock just feels like it's in a warm, wet place--it just isn't physically satisfying at all. Is there a position that would allow similar access to her clit but also allow for the in/out motion that really works for me? Missionary works well enough for that, and she seems to enjoy it enough, but it can be a little more difficult to stimulate her clit and it doesn't give her much room to maneuver. This wouldn't really be an issue except that whenever I 'lose it'... it doesn't come back for some time.

    That's all I can think to ask for now... thanks a bunch for any input you can provide. Also, hope you all had an amazing Thanksgiving. :)
     
  2. pbs

    pbs
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    Welcome to the forum.

    I know, I'm a guy, but you can benefit from perspectives from both sides I hope.

    1. Don't worry about her contributing while you kiss her pussy. Once you get emotionally connected, the excitement of making her cum that way will eclipse anything she could be doing for you. Besides, it's harder to concentrate on kissing her there, with proper focus, with you being distracted by whatever she's doing to you.

    2. You're never going to be able to cure her of her own self image. Just ignore it, and maybe she will too.

    3. Getting hard, going limp, and then getting hard again can be part of the fun when making love. I've learned that whatever is happening, it's best to just go with it, and even help it happen. If she's getting softer, don't fight it. Let her get soft, and then make her hard again, slowly and gently. Same thing with you, if you go soft, relax and let her bring you up again, or maybe give her some oral if your penis wants a rest.
     
    #2 pbs, Nov 25, 2011
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2011
  3. Slowdance

    Slowdance Member

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    One of these I can help with, I think. I'm a woman with curves, and I was very nervous about how I looked. Positive response, and something that made me feel sexy changed everything. I went from meek to eager, because I was so comfortable. that might help with the lighting issue. I learned to belly dance to be more at home in my body.
     
  4. petej0

    petej0 New Member

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    1. Just tell her to lay back and enjoy it, she doesnt have to do anything else.
    2. Compliment her, it could help ease her.
    3. Go with it, switch positions, do other things. Just dont dwell on it or it will consume you.
     
  5. Dragon_Fire

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    1. I enjoy myself more if I can touch him in some way while he's going down on me, even if it's just his shoulders. Depending on position, I might caress his head and face, scratch/caress his back or ribs, play with his balls or simply hold his hand. Touching him makes me feel connected.

    2. I can't help you with the self confidence one. I've always had issues with my own appearance but as soon as I smell a stiff cock all body image worries go out the window.

    3. I personally don't like penetration to last as long as 30 - 40 minutes. Is it possible that you could perhaps switch positions half way, perhaps starting in her favourite position and then rolling over and finishing in missionary or whatever pleases you?