Advice on this

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Obsidian, Aug 22, 2009.

  1. Obsidian

    Obsidian New Member

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    Hello all,

    As some of you may remember, I am a virgin. Yes still. I'm 18 and recently graduated high school.

    I don't want to go and just fuck some girl and thats it. I'd like a relationship, a sex life. A experience to remember.

    I consider myself to be kinda shy with people I'm not totally familiar with. Aside from that, I'm a very talkative person and cool to hang around.

    Now that I think about it. I don't really have many friends that are girls. In class, I was always quiet, but I would talk every now and then. I consider myself to be a very attractive handsome guy. Always clean and well groomed, good cologne, nice car. etc. etc. I just have never really have had a girlfriend. Why? Is it really that hard?

    I never seem to find the golden opportunity to jump out at a girl, and how to ask her out and be comfortable with it.

    I just want a girlfriend already, and some sex. I know I can do it with the proper advice.

    Going to bars and meeting them is not an option. Craigslist sucks.

    What about girls on Facebook or Myspace, I don't want to feel like a creeper messaging them.

    Help is much appreciated, thanks.
    -J.O
     
    #1 Obsidian, Aug 22, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2009
  2. Obsidian

    Obsidian New Member

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    Anyone with a bit of advice?
     
  3. heelfetish

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    Forget about hookups from Myspace or Facebook. You'll just come off as a creep or desperate. At your age bars are out of the question, but there are lots of other places to meet people. Do you have any activities you participate in? If not, get a hobby that involves other people. You're bound to meet someone with similar interests. If you do, start off slow, ask them out to dinner or a movie, etc. It's not until you get out there that things are going to happen.

    Good luck!
     
    #3 heelfetish, Aug 25, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2009
  4. HardRocker

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    Well, the best thing you've done is to finish highschool, because there is not a worse place to develop a social life or a sex life. If you go to college or tech, people's attitudes and cliques are different since everyone there has a purpose, or at least they will get one or quit. That takes a while to shake out, but as you leave what you used to believe was real life behind, you'll make new friends who share similar goals as you.

    If you go straight out into the work force, it may be harder since you'll be working your ass off all the time for chump change, but still your network will spread out with all different types of people. But you'll encounter more dubious characters there, maybe not on a track towards the kind of people you want to be with.
     
  5. tinkertwisted

    tinkertwisted New Member

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    ive hooked up with a guy from myspace before and at first we just had similar intrests, got yapping found out we had alot in common and then met up movie meal was good fun n aslong as u dont come across creepy or desperate ull be fine :) x
     
  6. fireweed

    fireweed New Member

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    I think it's far more about how you approach people and carry yourself than about where you go to meet girls. Lots of people hook up on social networking sites, the thing you want to avoid is sending messages to people you don't know that make you look creepy or desperate. When you message girls, don't say anything too obvious. Find a more casual reason for initiating contact instead of having it be about you wanting to hook up.

    You should be careful in how you reveal your intentions. Don't act too interested at first, just be nice and try to make some connection or find common ground. The creepy guys are the ones who send 'wanna hook up?' as their first message along with a picture of their cock. Women despise feeling like you only see them as a sex object, so you should connect with them on another level first, especially on social networking sites.

    The bar is out but I know there are under 21 clubs and hangouts, might try stuff like that. Personally I have had good luck with online dating sites, there are some free ones even. It's a little easier there because your intentions are already known and you know the people you meet are actually interested in finding someone too.

    No matter where you go, the approach is everything. Here is an example that just happened to me. There is this one dating site I'm on, and while browsing profiles, I found an interesting one, so I sent her a note commenting on some of the things she said and just mentioned that I appreciated her profile. She sent me back a nice reply thanking me for my thoughtful remarks. Then, a couple days later after a bit of conversation I sent her something like this:

    "Good morning sunshine!

    My wish for you today is that you have an incredibly exciting, ecstatic, and satisfying experience that leaves you in a state of profound peace and contentment for the rest of the day, then carries you into the most relaxing and refreshing sleep you've ever had."

    The next message she sent me was "Ok, we have to meet!"

    The main things to remember are to not appear desperate or even like you necessarily even want anything from her. Just find some common ground, make a connection and then at the right time, be bold enough to put yourself out there a bit without seeming like you necessarily want anything from her. Find a way to do that with enough girls and sooner or later you should find ones that like you.

    Online dating is great for guys like me (introverted type personality). 75% of people are extroverted, and guess which type most women are attracted to? The dynamics between these pesonality types makes it very diffucult for introverts to find romance in large social settings, and to make it worse, 75% of the people have little to no understanding of the challenges that the other 25% of us deal with in the area of dating and meeting people.

    Online dating provides an alternative to larger social settings for meeting people where we don't have to compete for attention with all those extroverted types, and with the right approach can be very effective. Over the last 10 years or so I have been involved with 20 or so women through online dating, including one relationship that lasted 2 years.

    The thing with online dating is that there are so many creepy guys, and women get tired of getting messages from them, so it's not that hard to get some attention when you are being thoughtful and respectful in your responses.

    Craigslist does suck, but it can be effective. I've met a few women from there. The trick there is knowing how to avoid all of the spammers in there trying to lure you to a dating site so they can get commission from your signup, wading through that can be a mess. I find that when I place an ad, I usually get a few legitimate responses though, and after time, I have developed a knack for knowing when an ad or response is fake (it's not that hard to spot after a while).

    Another thing I've found to avoid on CL are the sluts. Normally I hate that word... I'm all about women being as free to have sex as men, and I encourage that... to an extent. There are these women on CL that must fuck like 10 guys a day from there (and hey, more power to them, I just don't want to be one of their guys). Occasionally I get a woman message me that basically want me to come over right then. If I can't make it right then, they aren't interested (because they've got an inbox full of guys to choose from). Seems whenever they get horny, they fire up CL with the goal of getting some guy there within the hour (an easy thing to do for any woman on CL). Be wary of any woman who will fuck you without getting to know you at all or doesn't want to reveal anything about herself... So you have to use a lot of discernment when using CL, but I have met some women I really liked from there as well.

    If you can afford it, a pay dating site like the friendfinder sites are a lot more effective for the amount of effort you have to put in than something like CL.

    Anyway, best of luck out there!
     
  7. Maddox

    Maddox New Member

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    I met my girlfriend on myspace, haha... she was friends with my friends all through highschool but we never met. Showed up on the "people may know" thing and I thought that I might like to get to know her. Glad I sent that random message :)
     
  8. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    I was a late bloomer myself. When I was in high school I had a few girlfriends but it was not until I was college that I had my first serious relationship. The best advice I can give is do not rush it and do not "beat yourself up" over not having a girlfriend. It will happen just given it time and take pride in yourself. If you take pride in yourself others will notice too.
     
  9. gonefishing

    gonefishing New Member

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    wait untill you get to college, you will meet someone there. beleve it or not there will be some girls there that are virgins also.
     
  10. polarbear79

    polarbear79 New Member

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    do you actually like a girl now? it's always a bad idea to get into a relationship just because you want a relationship and some sex. that'll give you a lot of headaches in the end. if you don't want to just hook up to get your virginity over with, then wait. she'll be worth it.