Advice on playing with another couple

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Pikly01, Dec 4, 2012.

  1. Pikly01

    Pikly01 New Member

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    Me and my SO have organised a night to play with another couple this weekend, both couples have never done this before so I'm wondering what to expect.

    I would love some advice from couples that have done this before

    1. what to expect
    2. what to avoid
    3. how to get things started
    4. did you feel any guilt or jealousy during/after?
    5. if so, how to get over said feelings

    Our basic plan is to meet and go to a bar so the girls can dance and the boys can chat over a beer. Then we're going back to theirs with a couple of bottles of wine. We have talked about what we are comfortable with and both couples seem to be along the same lines, my girl isn't very attracted to the guy so I feel like this is a good thing for my ego. Also me and my girl have talked about what we expect from each other and both of us are ok to go with the flow and not setting a limit.


    Any and all advice will be greatly appreciated
     
  2. paintedblue

    paintedblue Member

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    1) What to expect:
    Four very nervous people. If none of you have ever done anything like this before, it will feel very strange at first. Keep in mind, fantasy and reality are two different things.. and when they meet they can create very uncomfortable situations.

    2) What to avoid:
    Rushing in and stepping over the imaginary boundries that everyone has. If your SO is not attracted to him, what will happen when he tries to do something with her and she rejects him? Hurt feelings and bruised egos are something that cant be forecasted easily.
    Also, Drinking too much is never a good idea. If you arent willing to do something sober, then it is a red flag that you shouldnt do it inhebriated.

    3) How to get things started:
    Slow.. Very slow.. feel it out. Start with just he girls.. maybe some kissing and light petting. Let the gravity of the situation sink in before you go whipping out dicks turning the whole night into a porn shoot.

    4: Jealousy & Guilt:
    Yes.. a lot... and it wasnt after.. it was during. It is a very tricky thing, so you have to be extra careful that she isnt doing this just for you. Have you asked yourself how you will feel watching another man enter her? Or her sucking his dick? How will you feel knowing that the next time you see them both that he has felt her in the most intimate way? How will your SO feel when you are fucking her friend? It sounds exciting when you talk about it.. but like I said, the reality can be MUCH much different. Not to discourage you, but talking these things out can save you a lot of trouble and heartache.

    5: Getting over it.
    Many couples have split over this very thing.. from which they BOTH agreed to it prior. It's something that people just cant get out of thier heads. More often than not it is the guy that has the most propblems too. Questions like "was he better than me.. is she thinking about him now..Are they meeting without me " These are the things that run through the mind when the euphoria of orgasms have long subsided. Whats worse is that there is no taking it back once it is done.
    The best thing you can do it really talk it out.. cover every angle.. and if you have any doubt, then dont do it.
     
  3. 12barblues

    Gold Member

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    Nice, paintedblue.....Fantastic advice.....slutty and I have been discussing doing it for a couple of yrs now.....and we haven't put any pressure on ourselves to do it. We have discussed it, and know the " rules" that we have set. And when the right time ,place , and couple, presents themselves, we'll be ready:D
     
  4. paintedblue

    paintedblue Member

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    That's the toughest part is the "rules". Everyone would like to think that you just go with whatever happens.. but that is a very dangerous thing when it comes to people and relationships.

    In my opinion, you are better off doing it with 3 total strangers than going in with two couples. Im not saying it cant work.. but that the odds are severly stacked against you if you rush into it.
     
  5. just4fun

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    If at anytime you start to doubt your dessision make it known.
     
  6. Pikly01

    Pikly01 New Member

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    Thanks for the fantastic advice, this has given me something to really think about. Most of these questions have poped up, though reading them written down definitely helps.

    We have both agreed that nothing has to happen, if we feel uncomfortable we will just have sex infront of them. I would like to point out though, we don't actually know the other couple we put an ad out and they were the best match that came back. Also we aren't drinking to force anything to happen, my girlfriend loves to dance so we are meeting them at a bar for 1/2 an hour so she can shake her thing first. And bringing a bottle of wine when going to someones house is just good manners :)

    Again, thanks guys you've given me some new angles to look and think about this from and I'll discuss them with my SO. This topic is very much still open, so if anybody has more advice I will be happy to hear it