Advice on current situation

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Ready2Please, May 29, 2011.

  1. Ready2Please

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    Okay once I type this out I am sure I will have already answered my own question. :lol But maybe I just need to hear it from others to confirm.

    I recently started hanging out with this guy who I met on this website called "fetlife". He is sweet and funny but he keeps asking me when we get to have sex. He is currently living out of a hotel because there isn't enough Coast Guard housing where he is stationed. When he told me this I was kind of adement (sp?) about going to his hotel because he might try something. I like spending time with him and I think he enjoy it to.

    We both like photography and baseball but I guess meeting him off that website kind of breaks the ice because he already knows my fetishes and likes. LOL :lol:ugh

    We have kissed,touched, and hugged but nothing more. I guess I want to take it slow because I like his company and I am having fun with him. When I am at his hotel room we cuddle,kiss,talk (sometimes sexual and not), he likes to feel my ass under my clothes and tries to feel my boobs but I won't let him. I also don't have any nude pictures on my fetlife profile.


    He has a nice body but maybe it is in my mind to want to wait for sex with him to see if he would want more with me. Like an exclusive dating (couple thing) or just sex. If it is just sex then I am not sure I want to be with him.

    When we first started hanging out he asked me who this other guy I was with. We ended up having sex twice (two different nights) and he wants to know how that guy go so lucky and he hasn't. I think I am starting to get tired of just being with "guys". I want one "guy" and to clarify this I have only been seeing my ex but with are friends also.

    Sorry this is so long I am also frustrated about something relating to work. LOL


    So I guess I am just asking for others to confirm my "thoughts". I have told him I am not ready to have sex with him and that I like being with him. He says he is ok with waiting but how long should I wait. Usually I can accept my own thoughts but I am stumped right now.

    Thanks and sorry for being so darn long.. lol
     
  2. Texas_Red

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    Shooting from the hip I'm concerned that his goal seems to center on sex.
     
  3. MitchieG

    MitchieG New Member

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    The best way to know if he wants anything to do with you is talking about it. Seriously, I've solved many of my problems by just taking a person aside and talking to them about it. I'm a dude, so it's especially adamant for me, because us guys are oblivious to anything and everything. I can't even tell if it's raining unless somebody brings it up to be honest.

    You've heard this a million times, but if he is willing to open up and talk and tell you what is on his mind, the odds are that he may be interested in keeping you around as a girlie fry.

    Edit: Texas_red was blunter than I, but yes, it sounds like lust is in his breath
     
  4. Ready2Please

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    Yeah. I have been thinking the same thing even before I went to his hotel room. I will just talk to him when he gets back.
     
  5. HisLilSecret

    HisLilSecret New Member

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    sex is alot of guys main goals anyway but if he is okay with waiting thats a good sign. I think it was Steve Harvey that said wait 90 days, I know it sounds like a long time but maybe you could come up with an acceptable amount of waiting time & re-evaluate the situation if he's still around. I hope he waits for you :)
     
  6. nurseharley

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    sweet home...
    How long have you two known each other? Honestly both of you need to be upfront with your intentions. You should have told him from the beginning that you arent interested in a strictly physical relationship but by going to his hotel, lying in bed and letting him touch you (whether it be on your ass or tits or wherever) is giving him the wrong idea. You give a guy a little bit and he's going to want and expect more.

    My advice is to see him outside of his hotel, make both of your intentions clear and go from there.
     
  7. Trond

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    You say that you "recently" started hanging out, so perhaps he's being a bit pushy. But you also seem to have had several dates, done quite a bit of talking and cuddling etc. At a certain point ANY guy is going to start asking for sex, even if he is interested in a long term thing with you and not just hanky-panky. Don't be too angry about it. Hope you find out soon :)
     
  8. lbushwalker

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    R2P, I think that this time you sense that this guy has the potetial of just more than a fuck so you are instinctively holding off making the physical connection before other things happen.
    He might well be a keeper so follow those instincts but be honest both to yourself and him.
    Good luck.
     
  9. Ready2Please

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    NH- Okie dokie let's see if I can do this multi-quote thing. :lol I totally suck at this quoting thing. We've only seen each other 5 times (two of which have been in his hotel room). He kept bugging me to come over but I didn't want to because I was afaird he would want to have sex with me right away. He keeps mentioning that there are "no expectations" from us seeing each other.

    Yeah the problem with me going over there I gave him to much and I knew this when I would go over there it would happen (touching). I will just ask him the next time when I see him. He did just just text me that he is on his way home from San Diego.

    Thanks for the advice. :)


    Trond- We have been messaging via fetlife for about two weeks,then we started texting on May 19th and then I went to meet him in person (May 22) on this old Navy base where we both like to take pictures at. He does want to goto a baseball game with me so that is a good sign.

    I did tell him that I am not ready to have sex.

    Getting advice from guys and girls is helpful. Thanks.


    Yeah, see he has told me that he has no expectations as to what goes on and happens. He has told me he likes to spend time with me. I will see how it goes.

    I'll keep you guys posted. :)
     
  10. MILF_Rider

    MILF_Rider Member

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    For some reason this brings to mind the lyrics from Glory Box...

    YouTube - ‪Portishead - glory box‬‏

    I'm so tired of playing
    Playing with this bow and arrow
    Gonna give my heart away
    Leave it to the other girls to play
    For I've been a temptress too long

    Just...

    Give me a reason to love you
    Give me a reason to be a woman
    I just wanna be a woman

    (And as a side note, the way that she sings the word "temptress" is just so hot.)
     
  11. Ready2Please

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    Okie dokie...

    So we hung out yesterday. He wanted me to meet him at his hotel after work at 330 and then we'd goto dinner at 6. There is no way in HELL I was going to spend that much time in his hotel room. So I told him I'd be over there 20 minutes before we went out. I said I needed to tell him something. I told him that I can't sleep with him until I know what he is expecting and wants out of me.

    I told him I am not sure if I am looking for a casual thing or a serious thing or not.

    So he said that he isn't looking for anything serious between us. In my mind I say THANK GOD! He is a nice guy and I like hanging out with him but I am not attracted to him. He doesn't exercise (but he isn't fat). I just like guys who like to workout and stay in shape.

    Thank god we talked about it. He wants to be casual friends in other words (FwB). I'm not sure if I can handle or want another (FwB).

    Sometimes my ex is just enough for me to deal with. :lol:
     
  12. Trond

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    Ah, I guess I misunderstood this part previously.
     
  13. Beach

    Beach New Member

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    I've had to read this while driving through out the day and working..
    the gist is obviously the guy is attracted to you and wants more than you apparently want from him. which is fine and that happens from time to time .
    stating the obvious I know, given his feelings why would you waste his time and yours?
     
  14. Ready2Please

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    I had to re-read my post because I couldn't remember if I said that or not. :lol:ugh

    He has a nice body but he really isn't my type except for the uniform thing. He does look good in that but that is it.
     
  15. Ready2Please

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    Well we have fun together aside from the making out. I don't know I will just see what happens. If nothing I can always need another friend.:D
     
  16. Beach

    Beach New Member

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    absolutely friends are definitely cool...
    just make abundantly clear your intentions.. even then I would be cautious and pessimistic for a good little while.
    it would not the unusual for a guy to say he's cool with the "friend zone"...all the while biding his time waiting for there to be more.
     
    #16 Beach, Jun 1, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 1, 2011
  17. nurseharley

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    sweet home...
    He wants to be fwb but you aren't attracted to him? Does he realize this?