{ Advice } - New To Anal

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by Lollirot, May 3, 2008.

  1. Lollirot

    Lollirot New Member

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    My boyfriend is a huge butt person. Which is obvious in being with me. No chest, Holy Grail of an Ass as most people put it. Now in the last few months he brought up interest in anal activities with me.

    Now originally I NEVER intended to do Anal, for anyone. I always thought how gross. . .But when you are in love. . .? Well it seems fine in my mind now. So I was not bothered when he brought up wanting to try it out sometime.

    We have no DONE it yet. He has fingered me there, but even that has been a bit of a situation. After the first 3 times, his finger felt good. But it still sometimes just feels annoying. . .and when he tried a second finger it was no fun for me at all.

    But I still want to try this because I did enjoy it initially and I think the problem is the transition to larger things.

    But. . .What can I do to make it easier? Is it a good idea to get a certain lube? Is it a good idea to maybe use a certain object or toy? We don't want to try full dick in ass action til I can take more. . .because obviously two fingers hurting, means I am not ready.

    But I am not sure what to do. . .?​
     
  2. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    I've had anal sex with one bf a few years ago though its not something I'd do again. Most guys I've been with have asked for anal sex at some stage and I've always refuses. With that guy it was a case of him being fascinated by it, he also wasn't a bore, when I asked him if there was anything he wanted to do he'd answer honestly, but apart from that he never tried to persuade me into doing it. He actually had mixed feelings himself, he wanted to do it but for it not to affect our relationship.

    As to the actual act itself. I sorted myself out before hand. Before I did anything with him I made sure I was able to use a dildo fairly comfortably. I can't actually remember what lubricant I used but it was the same as I used for vaginal sex.

    I didn't consider it as a sex act for my benefit i just intended it as a quick 5 min thing. Just for my own amusement I decided to do it when there was a big football match on:dgrin. But I have to say he didn't hesitate and he didn't dare ask me to wait. I had already used a dildo a few minutes before in the shower so the whole thing went pretty well. We didn't do any other type of sex just a quick 5 min thing in the kitchen.
    He loved it I didn't find it expecially uncomfortable but not did I get any sort of sexual satisfaction out of it.

    You know you're only 19 maybe it might be worth waiting a few years.
     
  3. decuss524

    decuss524 New Member

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    Definitely warm up to it using fingers or toys. I have tried it with 2 of my past girlfriends, they both enjoyed it. Yet i have heard of other people who hate it. So if you are fine with fingers i would say go for it and see if you enjoy it or not. The age factor is nothing... But def warm up to it, and as for lube I have used astro-glide, i find it works well and is rated pretty high. Good luck, write back if you try it.
     
  4. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    I'm not quite sure what you're offering advice on. From your point of view I'm sure it was a super experience. I'd like to point out that you too have a rectum, so in order to give a bit more authority to your advice, How about you find an object that's a fair approximation of an erect human penis, then shove it up your arse and then let us all know your thoughts.
     
  5. Lollirot

    Lollirot New Member

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    Mhmm yeah, I have heard prior of Astro-Glide being useful. And also I hear often of woman either loving it, or hating it. . .And I do think that, since the finger has been fine for me and even fun - I will probably enjoy going further. I just want to do it in a way that does not harm me at all. I hate pain, I am a lil whiner over pain. And i love my ass, I take care of my ass. [- Pat Pat at it. -]

    Though the advice is also. . .meh, as she has the good point. Male point of view is harder for me to use. You aren't having a special part of you torn open. You just get the fun tight hole part of it during sex, if you have not had penetration of your own rump.​
     
  6. Kanto

    Kanto Member

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    The mrs and I have had a go at this. We did some research and learned a few things on our own on the way.

    First in regard to fingers: two was very uncomfortable. The shape of two fingers together puts most of the pressure in two directions, rather than all directions equally. For some, this is stimulating, for others its painful.

    Lube: use it. Then use more.

    toys: find a nicely-sized plug made from relatively yielding material, nothing hard. There are a few kits out there that will help you gradually move up from one size to another until you're comfortable enough with your fella's wang.
     
  7. decuss524

    decuss524 New Member

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    I'm not sure why it would really matter if its guy or girl advice, i mean either way if they have been involved they have talked about the reactions and what did and didn't work, and also alot of guys do like prostate stimulation so alot could give better advice than most girls haha. From what Kanto was saying i would try to get a cylindrical object or vibrator that is bigger than the finger but smaller than the penis and see if you like the step up or not.
     
  8. saml

    saml New Member

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    lots of lube and lots of foreplay back there before you try anything big such as your b/f's member. Try finding a small vibrator and using it a couple times before trying anything bigger.

    I can speak on both sides of this, tried anal on my wife (she didnt like it), but the stipulation was that she had to use something on me. She thought I would decline but was naive and didnt know I am open for all lol. Much to her dismay I liked it :D and ask her for it occasionally (it really intensifies a male orgasm).
     
  9. CutiePie25

    CutiePie25 New Member

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    I had never tried anal before my current SO, its definitly different. One thing all the wise women on here will tell you is that it should never hurt. You risk causing damage later on down the line if it hurts.

    They make dildos and plugs specifically for anal. I've got one of each. You always want to start small and use lots of lube. Start with a finger, move up to two fingers, then a plug, then a slender dildo or vibe. I don't know that a vibe is a good idea at first though b/c I would think that the feeling of "having to go" would just increase with something vibrating in there. :ugh

    It can be a lot of fun, esp with double penetration (twice the fun!). My SO and I don't do it very often, but when we do I enjoy it. I think I've only cum once or twice when he's done it, but if I'm good and worked up when we start it feels really good. :D

    If you SO will let you, try it out on him to. Its a strange feeling at first, but when your man is bent over and your doing him in the butt with a strap on from behind it definitly gives you a different perspective on doggy style. ;) Speaking of... its been a while since Dave and I have explored that aspect of sex... I might have to pin him down tomm. :dgrin
     
  10. Halogen

    Halogen New Member

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    lube, lube, lube.

    (i've found having a drink or two before hand relaxes me as well)
     
  11. mace85

    mace85 New Member

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    I have always been curious about this, but the SO said it is a definite no go. At any rate I love this forum. No where else can you find these conversations...
     
  12. xNaughtyx

    xNaughtyx Banned

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    [​IMG]It's a lot of fun, but you need to use a lot of lube. It will hurt at first, but will be awesome when your used to it.
     
  13. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

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    You should stick to what you are comfortable with. Blow the whistle if anything hurts. And insist on plenty of soapy washing; before and after. Neither of you deserve and infection.
     
  14. Lotus77

    Lotus77 New Member

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    Let him lick your ass first
     
  15. erosexpressions

    erosexpressions New Member

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    I've always thought there's pretty much three rules to anal sex: 1.) You can never have too much lube (astroglide, KY, etc.) 2.) It can get messy but then sex by itself is often messy, no matter the type and 3.) If it hurts -- stop. You're doing something wrong. Having said that, take it slow and work up to it. I've found that two or three fingers can actually be difficult to take but a nice starter anal plug or vibe can be much easier to take. Hell, two fingers can be completely different sized between two different people. My g'fs fingers are tiny, mine are huge compared to hers.

    And I've both given and received so...:)
     
  16. HotCassie

    HotCassie New Member

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    I'm a huge fan of anal. Use plenty of astro-glyde. Its the best. I always make sure I'm cleaned out b 4 anything. Have him finger ur ass as usual, add astro, then try 2 fingers. Do tht till u get comfy. Ur gonna feel like u gotta go, but u won't. Most of all don't b tense, relax all the the way. Then let him try 2 put him in u w/ plenty of lube. When he does bear down like ur going poop. It opens u up a little more. Do it slowly. The head is always the hardest thing 2 get in. U be n control all the way. When does get the head in, have him take it out & apply more lube. & repeat process w/ u bearing down again. It should go in easier. It takes me about 5-10 minutes 2 take all of my bf from the start. have him do u slow, nothing hard r fast. If ur umcomfortable, let him finger u sum more & try again. Use more lube. Also u urself have 2 want this & remember u always be in control. My 1st time, I made him stop after about 10 strokes, we tried the next night, I did it all the way till he came in me. Anal orgasims r great, especially if ur into it. It is ok 2 b scared, cuz I was @ 1st, but it also was my idea 2 do anal, & I never have regretted it. Hope this helps u a little. Good luck Hunny !!!!
     
  17. HardRocker

    Gold Member

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    Hi, Cassie, welcome to SF. Thanks for posting.
    When you get a chance, be sure to post in the Member Introductions.

    HR
     
  18. NedF

    Verified Gold Member

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    As the others have said "lost of lube".

    Since I am about average in length but much thicker I find it helps if I gain access in a semi-flaccid state and let it slowly get erect inside. With lots of lube you can get it to slide in to a willing anus without much of an erection.

    I had one g/f that wanted it in a the ass quite often, usually it was during round two as I think she knew I would always be up for it!
     
  19. bikinigirl

    Gold Member

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    One thing everyone has been saying is use lots of lube. Don't let this mislead you! Too much lube (yes, even water based) can be bad, read the book I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell and you will know.
     
  20. Nobody

    Nobody Member

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    Anal sex is something I enjoy quite a bit, when I'm with a girl who hasn't had anal sex or very limited experiences with it I typically initiate things by placing her on her knees and elbows on the bed. From underneath and behind her I'll spread her knees and thighs until I can run my tongue from her clit and over and into her pussy before moving further up to settle the tip of my tongue on her asshole. I'll move my tongue in circles and flicks both fast and slow to stimulate and relax her. When I find myself to be in a rigid state I'll apply lube to my cock while still stimulating her asshole with my tongue. I then like to drip a few drops of lube onto her hole while massaging it in with small circles using the tip of my finger. One finger goes in while I run my nails down her spine. I find the initial insertion, while pleasurable, to be the most likely point for her to feel discomfort - so paying attention to her back or lighting tracing fingertips over the curve of her ass before squeezing her hip is a great way to maintain her arousal.

    I'll slowly fuck her with my finger while talking dirty to her until I bring her to the point of asking me to fuck her in her ass. At that point, I place the lubed head of my cock against her asshole and press against her slowly until the head of my cock disappears inside of her. Again I hold there without pushing further, I run more fingertips and fingernails over her back and sides, then very slowly pull outward slightly then in and back out with slight movements. I tell her that I love being inside of her ass and that she has such a tight little asshole. Talking is key. This leads to longer, deeper strokes before I lower her flat to the bed onto her stomach with me following in tandom. With my weight on top of hers I am in a position to kiss her neck, her ears, and hold her hips firmly to control our motion as we fuck.
     
    #20 Nobody, Aug 19, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2010