Advice from ex-non-orgasmic women wanted

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Sadie, Jan 2, 2008.

  1. Sadie

    Sadie New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2008
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    I'm 25, female and sexually frustrated. :( Here's my problem:

    I started masturbating at 14 in the bath using the shower head. This way I had spectacular orgasms. :tup I also tried manual masturbation, but my fingers did not work the magic that the shower head did, so I made do with the latter. (I remember my mom teasing me about taking three baths in one day. :eek:) A few months into it, we moved to a place without a tub, at which point I started seriously trying to get off manually. I have been at it ever since, never achieving more than what I would call an anticlimax, i.e. spasms and the termination of sexual tension without the insane pleasure of my first orgasms. :( I can bring myself to the brink using my fingers; the problem is the quality of the actual orgasm.

    I'd like to hear from other women who have shared my problem and overcome it - how did you manage to become orgasmic (again)?

    I should mention that I have tried a shower head a couple of times since those glory days at 14, but my own showers have been too physically uncomfortable and when bathing at a friend's house I have felt too psychologically uncomfortable. Thus I don't actually know whether I would be able to orgasm using a shower head today.

    As I said, I'm hoping to hear from other women who have shared my problem and overcome it, but because I've wondered how much of my problem could be psychological - perhaps the failures of my first tries at manual masturbation somehow screwed with my head and taught me (on a subconscious level) that I cannot orgasm manually and so I don't? ??? - I'd also be interested in hearing more generally from people who have used therapy, hypnosis or something similar to overcome an orgasm problem.
     
  2. Dreama

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2006
    Messages:
    3,890
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Female
    Practice, hon. It may take a million times, to get it right...It boils down to moving your fingers in the right places, at the right time. Or, perhaps get a vibe or something as an aid?
     
  3. Bluesy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2006
    Messages:
    3,779
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Aside from lots of practice, I would say the most important thing you can do is relax and let go of expectations. Masturbate for the pleasurable sensations alone and forget about orgasming--don't make it a goal. It's very possible to develop a psychological block to orgasming; you come to automatically anticipate the worst and that anxiety prevents you from reaching orgasm.

    I think you'd be better off with a clitoral vibrator, btw. It feels a thousand times more pleasurable than fingers :) Some ladies here adore the Hitachi Magic Wand...others that come to mind are Doc Johnson's Pocket Rocket, LayaSpot, and silver bullets (made by a variety of manufacturers).