Adding a third person, how to find them?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by stinkydee, May 26, 2012.

  1. stinkydee

    stinkydee New Member

    May 6, 2012
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    So the girlfriend (both 27) and I have talked about adding a third person to our sex life.

    We discussed a few matters of importance like:
    Man or Woman
    Health etc

    She wants an extra girl to join us, (Thank god, I dont think im ready for an extra guy, but would do it for her, her wish is my command). Well to put it simple it was her idea from the start. I was like my dreams have come true. lol To tell you the truth I am very excited about the event.

    Off to the jelousy factor, she said she might feel a little jelous at first if I was busy with the other woman and I fully accept it. So for that I guess at first it would be me spending more time with my girlfried than the other girl... I would also feel more comfortable that way.

    Thirdly with STD's floating around like they do we talked about the risks involved, and have decided to take all precautionary measures at first.

    Last of our discussions was approval, the conditions was simple we both have to approve of the person to join us... in otherword we want both of us to be sexually attracted to the extra

    Which brings me to the next question couple of questions, we joined this site as we felt there are alot of people that could help us with hints, tips and what not...

    Firstly we have been looking around but it does not seem there are too many woman in our community that is prapared to share or even remotely interested in the idea.

    1: How do you find such a person and where?

    We have tried one or 2 dating sites but it seems there are only men there that are either sexually frustrated or they just want to fuck my girlfriend and are not interested in a long lasting mutally beneficial kind of relationship. The woman there are desperate and wish to move in with the first person they find.

    2: For the guys that do practice in 3 somes, do you have different people all the time or do you have a special person that you both find great in the bed?

    We would preferably have only 1 person to join us on a regular basis should we both enjoy the experience.

    Any information will be well appreciated, but our main question is how do we approach people to get them to join us?
  2. cbrmale

    Gold Member

    Sep 26, 2006
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    I have done a few hetersoxual couples threesomes as the other man, which has been the husband's fantasy for his wife or the way of getting a third person into their sex life where the wife doesn't want to see her husband with another woman. Quite common that women are protective of their husbands.

    I have a profile on two swinger's websites in Australia. and couples who are interested in what I write and my pictures contact me. There are a lot of men looking for this action, and like you say they are only in it for the sex with the woman. I'm not like that and I'm there for the couple's fantasy when we are together.

    I have noticed on the website that there are very, very few women interested in threesomes. While it's a male fantasy to have two women, and indeed I have had two two-women threesomes in my life, it's not really a female fantasy. The two two-women threesomes I had were with women who knew each other and were attracted to each other, and one of the two women were also attracted to me. I think this is how 95% of one man / two woman threesomes come about, apart from paying an escort (which would work - I know escorts socially and they enjoy getting together with couples).

    I don't like your chances, but keep on trying online and maybe, one day, perhaps, if you're lucky.
  3. Cappy_Dick

    Gold Member

    Apr 24, 2011
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    First, read this post I made previously...

    If you don't both agree with what it says, I suggest you forget the idea of a threesome. If you're comfortable with the facts, then I'd encourage you to proceed. However, I detect from your original post, that you would not be comfortable with another man in your bed, should she decide afterward that she'd like to try that. Also I detect that she's not overly keen on FF contact and would feel left out if you are directing your attention on the other female. If this is the case, you're both flirting with disaster.

    You're probably not having much luck, as you're probably looking for a straight female. You're not likely to find one, as if they have any experience, they know that in a threesome, her and your partner will both end up feeling left out.

    If your partner is interested in experimenting with FF contact, you should have no problem with finding a bi female interestedin swinging with a couple. There are plenty of them on swinger sites and craigslist.

    One thing to remember is to always meet someone in a public place where you can socialize first. Like over lunch, or drinks. This gives a chance to feel things out first. If there's any discomfort, it's a lot easier to split from a public place, than have an awkward situation trying to get a stranger out of your home. Some couples like to get a hotel the first time. It's not a bad idea. Not everyone has noble intentions. You can lock your wallet and purse in your trunk, park the car a ways away and just carry a bit of cash and your idea. This way, if it's a set up, you won't get taken for much.

    If you have taken the time to consider both posts and feel ready to proceed, I wish you only success. Good Luck.