Addicted

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by tori, Jun 14, 2006.

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  1. tori

    tori New Member

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    I am addicted to this man. Enveloped in everything about him. This is not a good situation because ( for reasons I am not comfy enough to share right now ) we cannot be together. The feeling is very much mutual. I am sure I am in love with him. If not with the feeling of being so loved, To say the least, loving and being loved in return is something I am not accustomed to. So I am not good at it. At all. Need help..lol

    I am not even sure why I am posting this here, I guess because I can't share it anywhere else. The fact that the physical aspect of this event with him is beyond anything I have ever even dreamed of. He is amazing. Can have me soaked with just a few words :drool . I am telling you, it isnt even mortal sex..lol It's spiritual. I cant even put it into words. The 'mind fuck' he gives me ( lol for lack of a better term ) is the most incredible thing I have ever known and I am not an inexperienced woman. Not in the least.

    I guess what I am trying to ask is, Is this possible, the whole soul mate thing, the way we fit like a hand in a velvet glove ? OMG Its as if he was made for me, I couldnt build a man to fit me so perfectly, both physically and emotionally.

    The cruel Gods have dangled this angelic being on front of me for a year now, The saddest thing ever , we will never ever be able to be together. This is not fixable.

    Wow Ryan, sorry if this isn't in the correct forum. I just spazed and had to post. Been reading the posts here for so long now , kinda feel like I know some of you, and just hoping for some light, if any of you have ever felt like this.

    :ugh I should have put it in general relationships or something.. sorry
     
  2. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Wow..I'm at a loss for words for what advice to give you. I'm both happy and sad for you because I do believe in soulmates, having recently met mine. However, in the past I've had unrequited fantasy relationships with two men, who were already friends of mine, but who became the objects of an almost obsessive desire that evertime I closed my eyes I'd find myself imagining the two of us in a passionate embrace. Both of them eventually stopped being part of my life. One of them moved away and the other one..well the other one I cut off all contact with because my boyfriend at the time gave me an ultimatum. I know I definitely would have taken my friendship with him to the next level. But when the contact with them ended my obsessive fantasies diminished and gradually stopped. So that's my story. I'm not sure if it helped but I wish you the best of luck. Just know that when you're this crazy in love it's really easy to lose your grip on reality.
     
  3. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Hi, tori! I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to share what is obviously a very serious situation in your life. I hope you can glean some positive actions from our responses.

    I know it was hard to put into words. I can tell you had trouble conveying your innermost feelings. I was wondering why you will "never ever be able to be together. This is not fixable. " I don't want to assume the answer to this, but I feel it has alot of bearing on the whole situation.

    "Forbidden Love" can be quite intoxicating. It all depends on how you are willing to live. Living like this for one year may be 'do-able', but five years? - 10 years? - 25 years? I guess if I were you, I would take steps to chart my personal life with those time segments in mind. I can tell your feelings are genuine, and your heart is torn over this, but I imagine that since this "angelic being" has been in your life, you have refrained from being available to other men. In doing so, you may be passing up some great choices.

    I realize I am assuming that it is his life situation that makes this relationship not workable. It may be your situation. :ugh There are some missing facts, that make it hard to hit the nail on the head. Perhaps, as you feel more comfortable sharing more information, we will be able to help even more. Take your time... like I said, I know it was hard for your to convey your feelings. :)
     
  4. Thorn

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    I might be wrong but it sounds like one or both of you may be in a marriage and a child or children may be the reason you can not picture a normal relationship for the two of you. If this is the case I don't know what advice to give you but I know you will eventually have some hard decisions to make that could effect other people. Good luck! Hope all eventually works out for the best of everyone.
     
  5. tori

    tori New Member

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    Thanks !

    First of all, A big thanks to you all for replying to my spazz fit :ugh Puss_in _boots I am so very happy that you've found and are free to enjoy your soulmate. It is, I'm sure, The best thing ever for you both ! ( huggz) One thing you said certainly hit with me. Cutting the ties and things got better. I have tried so many times to just quit this but I can't, hence 'addicted'. I know that it will come to me just having to face it and move on. Not strong enough for that yet.

    Rose, :) I must say your reply cradled me like the wee baby I was feeling like when I posted..lol Thanks SO much !! You are right about seeing my life in 5 years, ten years etc. That's exactly the problem. I hope that this isn't a shock and that I am not hung up on any crosses here as I have been in other places and in certain situations. The not fixable is this, I am 17 years older than him. I have a son his age. He is in college. I am an independant woman. My son would never be comfortable with this I am positive. I have asked my son what he thinks. he is not happy. selfish yes, happy no. I also have a younger son who doesnt really know whats going on. I even have a hard time knowing I am only a few years younger than his mother. :(

    With this age difference comes the fear of having to eventually compete with younger more vital and more attractive women. I am very satisfied with who I am and where my life is. I am, at the same time a realist and I know that sooner or later, I will tire out and he will still be in the fast lane ..lol This wasn't something I was looking for and still find myself stunned at how things have progressed btwn us. *please note : I am NOT his teacher and he is very much legal ...lol ;) *

    Nothing can change the fact that our age difference is a big deal. Theres just some things that can't be patched. so that's that. I would love to hear your thoughts, all of you. In a perfect world we would all have things that arent so accepted by everyone else that we enjoy. but for now, I can only enjoy what I have of him and hope that nobody ends up hurt too bad.

    ahh Thorn !! big hug to ya !! I reread my post and wow ! it does seem like a married woman trying to hide a lover..lol Thank god that's not the case.
     
  6. lbushwalker

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    Hi Tori,
    This is a complex situation but not unknown.
    Having looked for so long it is easy to become fixated on the perfect package when we find it regardless on seemingly impossible peripheral considerations.
    You are correct in that mind fucking is the ultimate form of sexual experience since our brain is the largest sex organ. Our genitals just happened to be connected to it!

    My heart goes to you in this because I can understand your need but the almost impossible reality of it ever being fully met.
    I am in a similar situation with different difficulties but also preventing our mutual fantasy becoming a reality.
    Nonethless it is still feasible to nuture one anothers to some extent in ways other than physical sex.

    If nothing else I hope you can get some comfort in knowing that you are not alone in your yearnings.
    :nerv
     
  7. tori

    tori New Member

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    awww

    Thank you so much !! Understanding from others is soo scarce ! Bless yer heart !!:)
     
  8. hotbabe28

    hotbabe28 New Member

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    My parents were 12 years apart in age. My father being 12 yrs younger then my mom. The time they were together from what I heard was they had fun and loved each other. Atleast til he up and left my mom and me stranded in a city that we had no family and in a abanded car.

    I know how u feel when u said the man is ur soul mate. I found my soul mate almost 2 yrs ago. Master9804 is perfect for me and I love him with all my heart. I have always belived that if u love each other then something could be worked out. Of course everyone is diffrent. I hope everything works out for u on what ever u do. If this doesn't make sense then I'm sorry :ugh I have a hard time expressing in words what I'm trying to say.
     
  9. tori

    tori New Member

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    awww

    Hotbabe I understood you perfectly. and I thanks you so very much. I am so happy for you and your love !! I'm sorry you and your mom had to go thru all that. Thats the sort of pain I am trying to avoid. cant do that broken heart thing ever. I hate it. hugs to you darlin !! thanks
     
  10. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Wow - it sure makes things clearer with a few details. ;)

    I'm no clinical psychologist or anything near that (LOL) , but it sounds to me like you are an adult enjoying the company of another adult. You have no 'visions of grandeur', as you realize that when you are 40, he's 23... when you are 50, he's 33 ... when you are 60, he's 43.... and you put it well, "this is not fixable (or changable)".

    However you are presently X years old, and he is 17 years younger, and you both are enjoying each other immensely. I may take flack for this response from others, but I don't see why you can't enjoy yourself for the time being, as long as you keep your head on your shoulders. Keep the facts up front: it is going to end at some point. Until then, enjoy loving and being loved. You may experience more love in the (short) time you have together, than many experience after spending their whole lives together.

    You obviously are a very attractive older woman whom he finds irresistible. I doubt most people can tell you are old enough to be his mother. So, as far as others around you... as long as you carry yourself in a mature, appropriate manner (as everyone should), you are afforded the luxury of making your own decision concerning this personal choice. For the sake of your younger child, a bit of discretion would be in order, but don't let it make you hide in the shadows. You are two consenting adults.
    As usual, jmho. :)
    :rose
     
  11. Joe

    Joe
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    One of the greatest loves of my life was with a woman 19 years younger than me. I was 45; she was 26. We became very close friends and enjoyed each other's company so much that it simply turned into love. There were other factors that came between us and ended the relationship, but the age factor didn't seem to bother her at all -- only me.

    I've been with my current wife for 7 wonderful years. She's 50 and I'm 60, and that age difference is unimportant to us. She likes to tease me, like reminding me how old she was when I was 20, but other than making me feel like a perv at times, the age difference works for us.

    I know it's a little different when the it's the woman who is older, but I see no reason you shouldn't enjoy each other while you can. You both might get comfortable enough with it in a few years that you'll decide to make it permanent. If not, at least you've had each other for a time, and that's all any of us have. Good luck and best wishes.
     
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